Aunt Agony 301205 (Part II of 291205)

Originally posted by AnimalArmy:


I understand that. But I believe that LOVE can be nuture. When we r in love, we should be putting the effort to make it work out and not leave to one party to plan everything. I also see myself making the effort in this relationship.

I agree I am the Biggest Fool by just patching back. But I believe that she was really in the state of confusion at that point of time.

That's the problem. How can someone who claims to love u can change the words so fast. Her words are not credibable.

I want her to feel touch and think back abt the past. I am not saying I am demanding something back from her. I want her to realise that my love for her is geninue.

I know but dun tell me that's no way I can make her feelings come back? The purpose of setting up this thread is to tackle the hurdles and barriers that I have to patch back with her for just 1 last time.

She claims I am the one for her in the past but then not now. I dunno what make her change her mind.

I believe in giving her the personal space now. I never wanted to be an irritant. I can get the message into my head but then I just want to wait and see what I can do.

I understand what is LOVE. So I am letting her go now for the time being. I will attempt another time again. But I dunno how long and what I can do to ask her again? Pls advice.

The more u hope, and if the outcome is undesirable, then I noe I will fall even harder. I am prolonging my recovery period. But for the woman I love, I am willingly to risk it again. No regrets.



Love can be nurtured only if both parties are willing, but in this case here, it's one hand clapping situation. If Love is not about the sheer willingness to plough the field of your relationship, then what could it be? Waiting for it to decompose? I am not even talking about YOUR side of the story, about the length you went to work on the relationship... I am referring to her nonchalant attitude, which comes from the result of having a non-existence love for you... now.

You seemed to have this one way wood-like thinking, that things will forever remain the state it was, despite the inclusion of time factor. This is a form of naive thoughts that is probably one of the influences that kept you emotionally bounded by her.

You mean nothing will change in life?

Welcome to the real world - the only constant thing in life is changes itself.

So what if she did mentioned that you are the one for her... how much she loves you... blar blar blar... yes, probably in the past, it could be. But now, it isn't and will never be anymore. She is in a state of confusion so you actually 'defended' her in that way to justify a patch? In reality, you are the one that is confused and doesn't want to let her go.

It's not about Love, its about yourself. You keep talking about your genuine love and want her to think about the past... YOU DON'T GET IT DO YOU? You LIVED in your past, while she is walking into the future. She DOESN'T WANT YOUR LOVE even if your is genuine or what's not - because it is something that she doesn't want.

An Analogy:

I can sell you a wallet at $300 and tell you how limited edition, good quality, durable and well branded this wallet is... but if you fringin` don't need a wallet, no matter how I persuade you, you wouldn't part your cash. You may probably buy if I drop the price to about $10 dollars, but in your heart, despite being genuine limited... good quality... durable or well branded this wallet is... you will NOT appreciate it... as much as those you truly desire. Even if you drop the wallet into a murky drain, your cognitive dissonance will probably be minimal or zero.

'Oh well, its only 10 dollars...'

It is like your Love... worthless in her eyes, with you trying SO hard to give her some weak reason/s to accept this relationship again. Needs cannot be made artificially, it must be from within. (I cannot make you go hungry if you are full to the max).

You never wanted to be an irritant? BUT YOU HAVE BECOME NOW! Screw whether you have that intention or not... the fact is... you are! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, DO YOU? You don't even understand such simple thoughts, I doubt you understand anything about her. And I am quite sure you don't even know anything about her inner realm.

If you understand what is Love, you would have let her go. If you think that your attitude/behaviour is Love, you have SO much more to learn and all that you have learn in your relationship and those useless books you have read are basically nothing.

P.S: I scorn at people telling me about how faithful it is to wait for someone OR justify WAITING as a form of faithfulness. This is complete rubbish and delusional way to measure faithfulness. The truth is: it is packaged through this beautiful word to make foolishness appear noble. WORST, when you have a few people gathering together, saying, 'Hey, I also leh...' and start this buddy-buddy-who-wait-the-longest-must-be-the-most-faithful.

These people have disgrace and cheapen the name of Love when they have placed those scenario as true love... beside those true, fulfilling, content, mutually love and loved, passionate, powerful relationships. In MCsquare's tone: you are nowhere near it.

You CAN only be faithful, if you are in a relationship, that is to say, to practice monogamy, both physical and emotional. If you are not, you are merely a sad man/woman dwelling in self pity. There is so much 'I' in your post and you don't even bother about what is she thinking or what she truly wants. She has already made known to you now.... YOU are NOT what she wants... then grow up and snap out of it… before your value falls below ten dollars.

Cheers