Aunt Agony 291205

Originally posted by AnimalArmy:
Hi peeps,

Seriously need everyone's help? Anyone actually patches back with his ex-gf before? I haf bottle my problems for months. I cannot take it anymore. Pls help.

[u][b]My Story[/b][/u]

The relationship was like a fairy tale initially. But then, neglection, misunderstanding and disagreements set in...

Broke off twice. An on both occasions, third party was involved.

1st occasion, she went steady with another guy without letting me noe. I thought the breakup was just as simple as that but until my friend told me that she is in fact seeing another guy even before we broke up. However, I accepted her again.

2nd occasion, happens 6 mths later, this time she was close with another guy and went out with him behind my back. However, I tried to accept her back but she told me the feelings are really gone for good.

Question 1: I cannot believe that if u (as in her) claim to love someone so dearly, how can u hold someone's hand and become a 2-timer? Are her words too cheap to believe?

Question 2: I did all I can when we patched back the first time round. Sincerity and hard work does not help to save the relationship. I dunno what else I can do to save the relationship?

Question 3: My love for her is genuinue and I can accept her flaws and even accept the fact that she 2 time me. I dunno what she wants from me? Even though she claims I can be the best boyfriend?

Question 4: How can I save this relationship cos I did hate her after the 2nd occasion and pester her non-stop by calling her and waiting for her to come home. End up we quarrelled and at some time, it was pretty ugly. I regretted my actions and now she does not even want to talk to me. What can I do? I cannot be blamed for what I did cos I am the victim...

Question 5: She grew from strength to strength and yet I am living in a pathetic world of my own. I am lost, very lost. What can I do?

She can be a good wife. She is very talented n noes how to cook, sew and do household chores. I am willinging to stand by her even though she cheated on me twice is becos I believe everyone has a goodness in them. I never gave up on anybody in my life. In army, I never give up on my recruits esp those who are physically weak. I motivated them and slowly they gained their confidence and are able to pass their IPPT. I dunno why I cannot apply this to my relationship. I have seen couples break and patch many times. Some of them got stronger after each breakups. Sometimes, I think it is healthy in a way. Like u say, there are Pros and Cons. Seriously, now, I dunno whether I should wait for her?

I am like a fallen angel to her. I was once her Angel from Heaven but now, I am like a Devil from Hell. I missed her so much that I had many dreams mostly every other night. Can someone just tell her how much I haf gone tru for her?


You are so narcissistic to think that this Love revolves on you and simply by burning great effort onto your relationship, you naturally (and naively) thought that certain result must be harvested from this heavy investment. Love doesn't work like your trainees in Army because Love follows an irregular flow and outcome doesn't equate to captial invested.

When she decides to cheat on you WITHOUT you consciously realising it, you are a FOOL to accept a patch back. This is your first mistake. Forget about the latter episode because once a wrong footing, it became a wrong route altogether.

And you are still so deluded about your side of Love, when in fact, she doesn't even give a damn, as Love probably never existed, as far as she is concerned.

I don't understand why must you keep emphasizing on the fact that you sacrifice your world to someone who doesn't love you and you wants her to know about this. Does KNOWING how much hardship you went through make any difference to someone who doesn't even feel for you?

Quit grouping all those metaphors and personification to conjure a tale-like story from this scenario, in order to justify a aimless waiting for someone who doesn't love you. She cheated you a second time and you still have thoughts of patching up?? Your Love is so gawd damn narcissistic and self absorbed... that you only want her to be with you AND choose to ignore the fact that emotionally, for her, it has vanished into a pall of smoke.

You keep saying she is the one for you... ARE YOU THE ONE FOR HER??

What you are doing is not out of Love nor faithfulness or whatever term you wish to call them - it's already beyond that when you start to pester her. From a position of a boyfriend, you are reduced to an irritant and you are still unable to get that message into your muddled head... that because this relationship is impossible, you have to release her back to the wilds.

You cannot force someone to accept a Love she doesn't desire.

You are acting like a child when mummy doesn't want to buy you toy; this child would stubbornly kick a fuss and sit there, refusing to budge an inch. Ultimately when mummy walks off, the child has no choice but to run after mummy, fearing that she would abandon him.

You can choose not to move on and dwell in this karmic relationship for as long as you will. Meanwhile, you probably learn nothing in Love and at the same time, confirmed with her that her decision to leave you was paramount to her own happiness, which also implied that she made the right choice.

You should learn to wake yourself up and not harbour on winning her back.

Cheers