Aunt Agony 111205

Originally posted by depressed_80:
went out with my bf yesterday(saturday), chatted about our future as we walked around, of all a sudden, he told me,''yah,we can talk everything about our future, but..nobody can predict what will happen to us in the future, and i don't even know what will happen to my business, fail or success, we can get ROM, but if things(his business goes wrong or fails),it will be unfair to me.''
then he told me calmly that if along the way, if i manage to find a even more better guy in terms of financial or whatever, just go ahead, he will let me go..
after hearing that, my heart really dropped..we've been together for almost 4 yrs coming February..i'm 25yrs and he is 26yrs..and now he tell me this type of thing..
what is he implying??!! then i asked him is he trying to break off with me now or what? he took my hand and held tightly to his chest and said of course he won't let me go..but if his business really can't make it, he just don't want me to follow him and suffer..
what should i really do?? must i wait for things to really happen then make a decision whether to break off with him or might as well break up now...??
i really felt very miserable and lost...and my mind kept on thinking when will he break off with me...i really don't want that to happen...i've lots of friends suffering from bad experience from relationship and i didn't expect this type of thing to happen to me....pls help me...


You have to look beyond his words. Let me break down a little to allow you to understand the reason for his blunt remark. But before I began, there is something quite disturbing about what you had said.

[quote] ...i've lots of friends suffering from bad experience from relationship and i didn't expect this type of thing to happen to me [/quote]

I am not saying that it should happen to you, but for a four years relationship, you ought to realise that Love comes in a package. You don't absorb what's good and repel what's not. Instead, you work through the negativity to improve your own situations. Bad experience? What makes you think that 'bad experience' is necessary bad?

Spare the rod, spoilt the child; you spare the necessary evil, your relationship becomes meek.

***

Firstly, you got to realise that he didn't exactly mean sayonara as you got to understand the primitive nature of man - being the provider. The man provides to his household, his wife and everything that is under his responsibility, simply because of this primitive masculine instinct. When this becomes uncertain, threatened or unavailable - a man loses his confidence akin to the inability to protect his woman.

A man's love, very often, doesn't measure in that of a woman's world of flower and romance (Taurus, Capricorn and Virgo exception). A man demonstrates his affection through his ability to provide. This is also the reason why many guys think that with money, they can probably buy love or attract love. The greater monetary powers he possess, his masculine ego expands likewise. (This is inclusive of material stuff that indirect boast of material powers like car, house, etc).

Your man is depressed because he feared that you might make a wrong decision to remain with him, if he is unable to fulfil this primitive masculine instinct. There has never been a better time when your man needs more verbal encouragement, hugs and little kisses to lift his spirit. Are you going through this ordeal with him? Or is he going to fight this battle alone?

At the end of the road, you will realise that winning or losing this battle doesn't matter... when two hearts unite as one.

Cheers