Friday Rendezvous.

Friday Rendezvous.

Dope shit.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 271207

Originally posted by LordIcarus:
Is it important? What if one day, your gf comes up to you and told you she's no longer one. How would you react.
I told her i love her & i don't mind. Am i doing the right thing?



The concept of virginity doesn't even exist in the spiritual aspect of love because it only bothers people who lead and perceive their relationship in the lowest of all planes (CloUdiSm three realms of relationship).

I find it simultaneously amusing and somewhat hypocritical for one to proclaim love for another, yet having to be so bothered by this virginity issue. It is logically impossible for relationship to devalue, if your relationship is initiated by Love and not via other elements. If the concept of virginity could diminish your perception of 'Love' for your other half, seriously, it's not even Love to begin with in the first place; therefore one would surely be bothered with the analogy of being 'used' verse 'new'.

True Love is a constant that doesn't get affected by its environment or any 'moment of truth'. This universal acceptance has absolutely nothing to do with being magnanimous; rather, it's a simple understanding in the mechanics of Love - of having unconditional acceptance.

If you are even casting doubts on your relationship over such mundane issue, I questioned the quality and definition of Love you are seeking.

Here's some food for thought: does it necessarily mean that a virgin girlfriend:

I) Makes a better gf?

II) Would enable you to have a more fulfilling relationship?

III) Would enable your relationship to last longer?

Without you answering: it's none of the above.

I see some illustrations with regard to why the concept of a virgin girlfriend is 'better' - well, I would agree with them if you perceive your Significant Other as nothing more just than meat/possession/goods. Such unanimated objects are valued by the usefulness of their existence; therefore, having it 'new' will surely lengthen its usefulness.

Does it mean the same for your Love?

Do you demeaning the classification of personality, character and soul of a woman to that of such unanimated objects?

Ironically speaking, how 'useful' is virginity?

Can it stop her from walking away (if she bends on leaving)?

Can it prevent your relationship from wilting?

Can it grant her to Love you again if she has lost that fiery emotion towards you forever?

No.

Eventually, it only mollifies one aspect - the Self. The exhilaration of unwrapping your Christmas gift and learn that your toy is new probably gave your inner ego a satisfactory boost to sneer around that your toy is brand new, while the other kids could only be contented with 'second hand'.

Although you are no wrong in desiring a virgin mate when you are likewise yourself, our expectation and our cosmic lessons hardly blend in perfectly. In fact, it often clashes violently, giving rise to conflicts of the mind and heart.

So what must you trust in face of these uncertainty?

Love, of course - Unless you never had it right from the start.

You can't believe in something you don't have.

Cheers

Peace, Education, Culture and Kosen-rufu

Tina Turner Chanting




CNA Interview with Dr. Lawrence E. Carter Sr. (Daisaku Ikeda)



A great human revolution in the life of one person can change the destiny of humankind and our planet - Ikeda Sensei.

P.S: To disable the bloody song, click on any 'comment' tab in anyone of my post. That would do the trick.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 251207

Originally posted by griefman:

Friends,

I have been hanging here about a month here, reading every thread about breakup and heart break. Mine not the worst but hit me hard. I have been into 4 relationship, 1st(8 months), 2nd(3 years), 3rd(9 months) and last(10 months). Still wondering what's wrong within me, each relationship learned and changed for better, it's not working. The same old reason, they leaved without giving a reason, sometimes I wonder is it true I have been cursed or the fortune teller is right that girl will not be long with me and they will leave to seek better opportunity. That's when we spoke about future and married, either I am not financial ready or they don't want to commit.

By the way, I am living in average lifestyle, just a bit credit card debt. It aint poor but still can go hanging out in nice restaurant or vacation within asia. Back to my recently break up story, long story short, I think I am an insecure nice guys that say finish last, but seem to be finish first. Named what the nice guys did and I am doing it all, being clingy(I have try to be minimized but sometimes they complain and I go further more), I seldom make decision(Yea, I am afraid she might have better decision, I guess I am wrong here), I always give in(we do quarell, but I always tell myself to tolerate and let her win), She called me when she's stressed with friend or family problem, I still attend the call while a meeting is on(I want to be the one she think of when she is not happy), She want luxury handbag(I save money and eat bread to get her), She's jobless(I pay everything except house rental to sustain her living), she name me a dog name(I don't mind as long as she love it), I tag her along during shopping, just like a puppy(Well, all guys did that right, sometimes I even paid for her), I massaged her every night and intimate with her even I am very tired(Never nag a word to her even she wants more). I open door for her in and out the car and carry all her shopping bag or anything(she just walk in front of me and yell me to follow her faster). By doing all this, I am tired, but I am happy. Is this the power of love? I don't know.

Fast forward, she got a job, stress up and one of her family member got sick and gonna die soon, she always complaint about how stress her job and boss, she never been working for exact 1 year(changed 3 job). I have tried to calm her down that every bosses is like that, try to deal with it, it's their job to monitor and ask you to do thing, do your best. Her family problem, I cant help much I am not doctor, I try to calm her down that miracle will happen and don't give up. Accompany her more. But she always called her so called best

friend(they know each other longer when I exist) who is male, I never nag about it but inside me feel unhappy and sad. So, not sure how it end, maybe his male friend successfully manipulate her mind or she suddenly feel like something not right and I can sensed it.

So, One fine day, I sensed that her reply in sms is abit weird(like stranger), when I touch her she refused, she's not naked in front of me as usual. I think she has changed and I discussed with her, she say she is stress up and don't know what she want in life. She is mess up with so much thing, she want a cool off. I was stunned and try to explained to her that it's fine, maybe a revolution period that you havent get use to, that day she move out and before that day we have a great day, we kisses, watched movie and just like normal. That's the last time I saw her. She tell me, it's still fresh in my mind "she's young(24 yrs old), she want to go out and see the world, she say she love me, if 10 she give me 9, the only one that not good enough is that I am not enough rich, she say if one day she fulfilled her dream or she is still single, she will come back to me and get married, she say that all her friends also like that, break off a period and come back and get married" Do you know what's her intention here? Please advise.

When she leave, in a taxi, I called her, she has changed 360 degree, she acted cold and from that day onwards, she never reply my sms and calls. Even when I called she pick up and say that I am irritating, I have No Contact for her about 2 weeks, then at the end the cool off become break off. Felt like being use as a fool to let her have chance to test drive herself can survive without me or not and it works for her and break off.

Two months gone, lonely and depressed, till date I still think of her everytimes, having No Contact but still doesn't work better. During that period, called her best female friend to talk about her and her female friend promised not to tell her I called her to seek about her current situation. Then today I called her to greet her Merry Christmas, she yelled at me say me irritating and don't called her friend anymore(She say her friend also find me irritating, not telling me because dont want to hurt me), it makes her sick. So sad, I rather didnt make the called. By the way, I have a month No Contact with her, just minimun sms a week 2 times, she say that's irritate?

Till now, I have only 2 question that's keep bothering me and I know I should let go, but it keeps hunting me:

1) Does she have a new boyfriend?

2) Does she have sex with someone else? (As she is sporting type)

I know is not my position to know and it's her life, not sure why it keep remind me of these 2 question and i wouldn't want to know but yet in my subconcious it remind me. Maybe when I knew the answers for the 2 questions, I can have a reason to move on?

Getting crazy sometimes, no friend to go out, just go gym and stay home browsing sgforums till midnite.

Thanks for reading and appreciate your advise.

Having to believe in fortune teller weaving a tale about your cursed destiny of having woman dumping you is probably next-to-crap. If you only recall his doomsday prediction and subconsciously see that as your destiny - it's no surprise to me why you will suffer from such plight and perceive it as inevitable.

Theory of fixed destiny, to me, is a classic charlatan speech that is detrimental to one's spiritual growth, especially when one decides to believe in such notion and accept them without resistance. Freewill and individual evolution will overcome any network of destiny designed to incarcerate us into one chosen path.

There is NO one chosen path - in fact, life is full of multiple paths, both converging and diverging. Your reality gradually forms as you initiate the decision to opt for your course of action. You are indeed the master of your own fate and destiny - therefore, if you cannot learn to control it, then circumstance will gladly take over and manifest whatever reality your circumstance leads you.

If you have been through four relationships, failing the same way you did previously, I seriously find it hard to believe that you have truly evolved. Surely you did learn something, but your learning is probably very much technical and not spiritual. Somehow, it seemed to me that your choice of partner also assisted the fulfilment of your 'cursed destiny' - your woman is pretty much a materialistic femme and you do not have the financial power to satisfy this aspect.

If your past experience with all these 4 women revolved around this negative materialistic quality, I see a problem in your natural selection and eventual choice. That would need serious tweaking and it belongs to another topic altogether.

The way you lead your relationship is catastrophic. I believe it has a lot to do with your emotional development because to compensate your insecurity, you subconsciously and artificially create a persona that actually sacrifices your long term growth for short term measure. You try to appease your relationship with periodic LV/GUCCI tributes, surrendering leadership & freewill to your other half, as well as allowing disrespect to thrive in your relationship - because you reckon that this would in turn make her love you more.

Serious misconception in love and even seriously weak personality; completely way off. WAY off.

CloUdiSm states: 'we attract the quality we exude...' And because you exhibit such vibes, it's no wonder again why you would attract such materialistic mates!

Her break off excuse is classic - you are not rich enough for her.

I wondered if you even have any dignify left in you to feel disgusted at such claim.

I doubt it's even Love now; your desire of wanting back is probably close to that of some melancholy habitual reasoning cum depression than Love per se. Your fear of loneliness utterly outweighs your understanding in love; never mind if you are being treated like a dog. Never mind if you have to starve to buy that LV bag for her - as long as it patches this loneliness and temporal misery, you will still accept the deal.

Because loneliness in your mind eye, is a still a higher price to pay.

That's the problem of having no life outside the life of your relationship - you end up ruining your relationship faster than you think.

You will probably need to preview your entire life and personality as a whole if you wish to see any success in love. I can tell you, without drastic positive evolution, nothing will change. Your cosmic lesson is screaming at you to graduate, but your lack of wisdom simply doesn't allow you the privilege to - you will retain and learn what you need until you truly understand, learn and demonstrate through actual proof.

Stop living in the shadow of a puppy and start living in the skin of a man. You are not born a beast, but a human with power to shape your destiny. Until you learn to walk on two, you will forever return back to fours.

Cheers

Worn Out

I am so worn out.

Packed like sardine.

With so many things line up for me.

I am beginning to feel that this body of mine is starting to give way to fatigue.

Sigh... not feeling well.

Can't even find the time to blog my Thailand trip. (Will try blog all the shit I had left it pending)

But whatever it is, eventually everything will fall rightfully in place.

I know it.




Cheers

Aunt Agony 211207 (Continued from AA 201207)

Originally posted by OrionB:

Yes, I do know where possessiveness exist, it isn't love...

Regading human revolution, what you wrote it may all just seem 'easy to say, but hard to do', but in the end, I will still have to do it. Can't possibly lead my life this way anymore.

I am already in a religion, but not so much of passion and conviction as of yet. Perhaps it's time to try. I really need a whole lot of determination...

Sigh, I just find it really confusing. I am one who doesn't revolve my whole world around him, and it's not that i lack self-confidence, or friends, but still insecurity/possessiveness bites into me somehow.

It's how you position your perception that makes a world of difference.

If you see it as a liability and not truly a motivation spur from individual evolution, chances you wouldn't have the necessary endurance to see through any significant changes. Your subconscious would probably view it as 'I need to' - when it should be 'Why I should'.

A murderer need not be a violent man - likewise, an insecure person can exist even if you do not fit under the classic conditions of the norm. Like I have mentioned, the possibilities are many - who knows, I might just uncover the rationale of your affliction by studying your domestic environment or even your early childhood development.

To surmount challenges in love is certainly a daunting task. To begin, one must have the initiative and drive to strike out. On a positive note, you do have the wanting to change yourself, but it's really more than just work hard. Knowing where the rot lies and addressing it properly will mould your personality and relationship better.

Constantly telling yourself that you shouldn't do this or that is what I called hard work that eventually amounts to nothing. You see - you tried, but it had little success because you are just pushing yourself to behave in a pattern that is against your 'natural state of your emotions'.

The definition of 'natural' is simply the way your personality automatically reacts to your environment - namely the possessiveness that triggers itself every time your boyfriend sparks an event that fire off your affliction.

To your emotions: that's the natural mode of behaviour. And now you are telling your emotions not to react this way?

You see the conflicts?

You got to do more than just 'selling of concepts' to your mind - you got to implement it into your core values and BELIEVE in what you have introduced with great conviction and trust that it will help you achieve a better personality and relationship. Note that I did not say it guarantees you an everlasting love - but certainly you will breathe easier in your relationship.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 201207

Originally posted by OrionB:

I have procrastinated long enough, I was always hesitating if I should write in here and share my r'ship dilemmas, and also gathering valuable advices frm the people roaming the forum at the same time. But I guess it's time, or I'll never be truly happy in my relationship.

One thing for sure, I admit that I am a possessive girlfriend. To what extent, maybe you guys can decide for me?

A typical scenario would be I am displease whenever he's around girls. I could just start an argument over little things that concern his girl-friends. Is this normal? Or am I being overly-possessive? Sigh. I know he isn;t the type who would turn his back against me, but still, knowing that he is around girls just make me feel ultra uncomfortable. What's with me? He tries to pacify me sometimes, and after awhile I would brush it away and be back to normal. But it comes back again.

I think I have highly fluctuating moods.

Another thing is that, I am extremely unhappy whenever he neglects me or something like that. For eg, if he replies a tad late (via sms most of the time), or if he forgets something such as bringing smth he said he would bring during our date, I'll be utterly upset.

This is childish, I know. But I can't seem to run away from this nature in me! One moment, i resolve to be selfless, that love should not be selfish, that i should trust him blah blah, and the next day, my willpower dissolve and I am back to the immature me.

There were times I blurted out hinting that we should just end the relationship, but somehow or other, we managed to resolve our problems at that point of time and continued being together. But that was only temporary before my childish act comes running back to me.

Friendships were never like this, only relationships. My previous one was the worst one ever, I don;t noe if it affected me into how I am today.

But that's not the point, I just want to know how should I (the possessive one) handle the relationship? Or should I set my partner free? I know he feels suffocated at times. Haiz.

I sometimes wonder if I should had step into a relation at all in the first place. Right now, whenever I feel like letting go, pain stops me completely. It's too hard to say break up. It hurts like crazy.

You lead a very intense relationship because you are unable to tame your emotions and yet allow it to consume you absolutely. Your failure to evolve has little to do with willpower; possessiveness can only be dissolve through wisdom and higher enlightenment. And ironically, pain exalts possessiveness. Therefore without the presence of wisdom, it's often reiterated cosmic lessons.

No amount of induced pressure can dispel this emotional juggernaut - you will only heighten your frustration and deepen the intensity of your struggle. There are many possibilities as of how did you acquire this poison in life, but regardless of circumstances, one thing remains common: possessive is almost like an emotional Trojan residing inside of you, perpetually seeking to introduce 'communism' with every relationship you encounter, as you see your partner as a form of commodity/possession, subconsciously working to deprive of your relationship of maturity, space and growth (it's worst if you are heavily bogged down by several fixed aspects in your natal chart).

The truth is that you will eventually ravage your own relationship with your bare hands as your emotional affliction take step to dominate - akin to demonic possession. You find yourself usurping the crown of power and tilt the equilibrium towards you in full swing, albeit the division of power is originally split equally between the couple.

***

Allow me to banish some myth in which you would probably see yourself in:

I) "I am possessiveness because I am afraid of losing someone I love. And it's only right because it's somebody I love.'

The truth is that you indulge yourself in fear - so much fear that the essence of love is hardly even present. The word 'Love' is very much desecrated by the notion of fear, like a malicious spirit lurking behind a corrupted idol. If I could reframe the context, it will look like this:

"I am possessiveness because I am fearful. And it's only right because I fear.'

And I tell you because of ONE negativity, your entire life actually work to compromise and bends, sometimes illogically and breaking structures, outwardly to support this fear.

Let me illustrate a linear example that comes back in one circle:

> Because you fear, you are possessive.

> Because you are possessive, you exert militaristic control.

> Because you militaristic control, you rob space & growth of your love.

> Because you rob space & growth of your love, the foundation of your relationship is feeble.

> Because your foundation of your relationship is feeble, your relationship does not have the natural mechanism to fend off crisis.

> Because your relationship is unable to fend off crisis, it perishes or decimate greatly.

> Because your relationship perishes or decimate, it triggers more fear.

> And the cycle repeats.

In reality, the above relationship is much more complex - the connection is usually more radical, affecting all aspects of your life.

Just because of ONE negative condition in life - Fear.

***

II) 'Being possessive is natural'

That's completely bull - Possessiveness is an affliction that disguised itself behind many 'noble' intention/s. The noble intention is but a facade.

***

In my years of doing relationship analysis, I can tell you that people suffering from possessiveness never truly shake away from this. Most people live with this affliction till they expire from earth and thus, they will never experience the true happiness of love - forever chain up in primary dimension of love... never promoting.

There are only three ways to eliminate this Scorpio-classic: I will tell you the third pointer

Achieve human revolution – You first learn to discard your old self and learn to accept growth in love - not deny them. You learn to confront your fear and not having to succumb to it by having to compromise your circumstance to patch this negativity. Be religious and spiritual; pray with conviction to the higher entity you believe in or communicate to your inner self in sincere dialogue to evolve and the strength to remove this affliction that prevents you from attaining true happiness.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 181207

Originally posted by Allen.Iverson:

i like this girl who is older than me by a year. been goin out with her and i like her. shes interested in me as well. but we always run out of things to talk about and there will always be awkward moments of silence.

furthermore, i feel that i lack the ability to make her laugh alot. girls like guys who can make them laugh but i cant make her do so often. how can i not appear to be so dull towards her?

pls dont tell me that its who i am and i shouldnt change the way i am cos i believe that it is a personality trait that can be improved upon and is highly beneficial.

need help!! please!!

Love per se isn't some mutually exclusive entity living on its own dimension - in fact, it's very much interwoven with one's life.

I see this as two possibilities:

I) You are naturally weak in communication, self expression and delivery (Mercury-detrimental).

II) Your lacklustre life doesn't give you enough variety to keep conversation going.

And chances are, it's likely to be a mix of both because these two pointers are highly intertwined.

Personality trait can be an acquired skill if you reiterate enough to behaviour to infuse it as part of your core value. But you must first understand where this defect lies and if you are equipped with the strength and wisdom to strike out and start a human revolution.

A dull person is languid because the way they lead their life probably doesn't give them the opportunity to expand on human interaction. These people are likely to invest their time in solitary activities that usually doesn't require much personal interaction between people.

And the flourish of internet probably worsens this issue, if people start reckoning that it's a good substitute for reality.

Love is not a miracle that dissolves all problems into nothingness; ironically, being in Love is like looking into a magical mirror of truth: it expose all our inner negativity and coerced us to face directly with our weakness, especially our personality.

Only through the eyes of Love, would we understand how much 'defects' we have developed unconsciously over the years.

A person who doesn't know how to speak must learn to challenge himself to talk. Albeit he might not be the best speaker, but at the very least, he learns to speak, which is paramount to one's spiritual growth. The growth doesn't lies with the ability to speak, but rather, the notion of having to surmount his weakness.

A dull life is but a transitory condition that can be shattered by having to invest your life, effort and time into something more worthwhile that could enhance your personality and life, especially if it involves an assembly of people, in which one must interact in such social setting.

One can be insipid, but one doesn't have to accept the fate of a dull life for everyday, there's always 24 hours for all. The difference between one from another is the time used by them individually.

In summary: one cannot be a dull person that is interesting or an interesting person that is dull. Being in love doesn't make you an interesting person automatically - if your current life doesn't allow you the condition to be interesting, you will always feel inadequate in conversation because your vocabulary is limited.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 161207

Originally posted by hunky_boi:

ok.. this story goes like this..

i met this girl at my work place and i really love her..

i tried proposing to her but was rejected, she say that she love another guy liao... and they got patch back.. so i quietly waited...

i waited for them to break..

so i ask again on my birhday and was also rejected..

she say tat we better study first..

a week back i bring back the question whether she like me or not or will she give me a chance to prove my love the third time and got back the same result..

but last few days, we keep meeting up, every time i am the one who suggested to meet de.. most of the time, i am jus sending her home from work or school..

if she dont really like me, why agree to meet me and allowing me to send her home ???

You assumed her intention seemed to suggest that she is giving you a chance to 'prove yourself' - but there's absolutely nothing for you to prove because she is already very clear in her positioning - three times to be precise - that there's only enough room for you to be a friend and no further.

You are probably the conventional type of guy who needs absolute answer from your crush to get your butt moving. But the truth is that in Love, is always the grey - you don't normally get black-and-white answers simply just because you need them.

It's not even about hinting - she has blatantly said 'No' thrice - if that isn't enough to let you see the light, I can tell you that the result from further attempts will hardly differ.

Why coerced someone to love you when you are just not the fit?

Why force a piece into a puzzle and make things ugly?

If you are unable to handle rejection and accept a mere friendship, I would suggest you take the initiative to cut contact, than to escalate your situation and pressure her to 'cut your contact'.

Nothing about face issue - if you are not emotionally evolved to handle it, my advice is always to avoid facing the predicament.

Cheers

UP Logo (Construction Firm)

Ok... Jingwen's logo looks better. =D

Cheers

SCCCI Seminar Lab 07

Darn. I realized I only have one photo - one tyco snap outside the refreshment area.

Wai Leng has yet to send me the photos. (That reminds me to get it from her).

Cheers

Aunt Agony II 091207

Originally posted by crimson soldier:
Knew this girl for almost 4 years already. Started as friends but as I got to know more about her, I found myself falling for me. 2 years ago got closer but when I asked her to be my gf she did not respond. Did not pressure her and even avoided her deliberately because I knew she was uncomfortable with me after that. Though I still liked her I only asked about her through her friends and sent her smses only on her birthday and new year, etc.

Through the last 18 months she was always on/off my mind when I was alone, like on the bus, before sleep. Told myself I would think about her until she got a bf that would take care of her well or I met another "special" one somehow.[b] I had given up all hope of being with her.


Recently I went though the greatest tragedy of my life but to my greatest surprise(honestly) she showed the most concern to me among my friends through smses, calling and giving small thoughtful presents. I told her that she was very important to me and her concern had helped me through the tragedy. She did not seem to be uncomfortable in reaction and has in fact asked me on a overseas trip(with mutual friends of course) or to meet her.

To be honest, I don't know whether if pure sympathy was the cause of her concern. If all she felt for me was sympathy then I rather she just show it more subduedly.

I am not complaining but if she just gave false hope, then I would have to feel [b]terrible and hopeless again when the time comes.


I have never told our mutual friends of my liking for her because I do not want her to be teased or to feel pressured when we are with mutual friends. Frankly I was comfortable with my feelings not being returned through the last 2 years even though I loved her in my heart, I told myself love had no conditions. Prepared to wait 10, 20, 30 years quietly until she gets a bf.

And no, I do not believe it is irrational or unhealthy of me to refuse to force myself to forget her. I still try to get to know other girls and expand my circle and when the times comes, I will be able to let go....


I would have post the same thing:

Originally posted by curiousOrange:
But subconsciously, you are avoiding a definite answer because you don't want to move on.

I refer to CloUdiSm old writing about the theory of Fantasy, where it explains that the annihilation of one's fantasy ironically, creates a pain much worst than a physical lost. In fact, the notion of waiting is often a gross misrepresentation of the quality of faithfulness. Somehow, this definition of faithfulness got twisted and some people demonstrate this very essence and apply on situation that doesn't apply to them.

A narcissistic fantasy is then born (Neptune influenced).

In simple, what I am trying to say is that the quality of faithfulness doesn't apply to you because you have absolutely no position or status as a boyfriend/husband - there isn't a need for you to shoulder any liability or see yourself having to share any form of responsibility to 'watch over her' and all that seemingly noble intention of you waiting for her finding a 'good man that could take care of her' and such is completely way out of your perimeter, as a causal friend.

Five words to sum up: who are you to her?

Once you understand the position I am trying to establish above, I will reveal to you the rationale of your decision.

There's a formidable link between the theory of fantasy and how it affects people attitude and behavioral patterns towards love and relationship. This Neptune affliction is especially susceptible for people who (1) never had a relationship before, (2) with heavy fixed aspects that often find themselves living/desiring the past.

Once we tasted how Love felt, we will never be able to remove this Trojan that lives within our memory forever because the inner workings of our emotions actually undergo a complex transformation.

Then here it goes: Because you are unable to remove this affection from sinking roots; between the journey from your current position to advert of your next coming girlfriend is an ebony shade of nothingness. Also more critically, because this love interest you perceived actually has no form, neither does it belongs to any entity of a relationship, a fantasy is created to fill up this void between your journey from where you are standing to the appearance of your next girlfriend.

Emotionally, one cannot live on void, thus one live on fantasy.

To be brutally frank in common tongue, your subconscious thoughts will probably read this way:

'Since I have not taken fancy on anyone and I have no girlfriend, I rather keep my one sided affection for her, then to lose this and have no direction.'

This is Love?

Hardly.

***

I hope you spare some effort to go through curiousOrange's post: the courage to seek an answer for a closure is probably more liberating than you could ever imagine. A non-calculated wait is really a convenient excuse employed by people who prefers to dwell in passiveness because they fear to face the blade of truth.

You may think that it doesn't matter to you because you are single, but I can tell you that unless you learn to lose sight of the shore, you will never discover new islands.

Are you thinking that once you have found another love, you could easily toggle your emotional switch like how you could do it for your lamplight?

My dear, we all are humans: you would probably pay for this foolishness at the price of your next relationship. If don't you learn it now, you will probably learn it later.

But like inflation - prices gets more expensive as time goes.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 091207

Originally posted by moletan2003:
Hi I am having some problem with my girlfriend and need some advice. Recently, my girlfriend have been going out with this particular guy for about 5 times since may this year. I ask her why is it that she is going out with him? and she explained that it is because that she just wants to know more friends.

I understand that it is perfectly fine to know more friends, however I think that the guy is interested in her hence his persistence. And I did voice out my concern to my girlfriend and she promised me she will not go out with him again. That was 2 months ago. Yesterday, she went out with him again.

Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.

I have been with my girlfriend for about coming to 2 years. Currently I am a civil servant but come next year Jan I will be quitting my job and concentrate on my degree. I took this step to enhance my paper qualification so as to increase my chance of getting a better paid job. She is supportive but she also understand that I will not be able to be as stable as before when I quit my job.

I am sad that this has happened but I also need some assurance from her. Am i selfish in asking her to stop seeng this guy?? objectively there is nothing wrong with her seeing other guys. emotionally, i am actually quite bothered by her willingness to go out with him. I am very sad cause I have put in alot of effort in maintaining this relationship but she is just not being helpful.



You have re-encountered a situation previously occurred in the past - that your girlfriend has decided to date another guy outside this relationship and began to question or review the existence of your relationship.

Albeit I do not know you personally, unless you are somehow fortunate enough to find someone that appreciate your sort of personality and definition of love that you share, you may want to do some quiet introspection to uncover where the rot first began in your relationship. I reckoned that the last thing you would ever want to see is this same vicious cycle befalling on you again for the third time or beyond.

A perfectly satisfied woman can never be seduced - surely, there must be that little subconscious frustration or unsatisfied needs that go unnoticed throughout the course of your relationship, which conjured the 'push' factor for her to look elsewhere. I won't say that it's unreasonable for you to be insecure, because somehow, your woman does show signs of drifting and you seemed powerless to do anything.

Somehow the excuse of having 'to know more friends' is but a facade to date other guys and to jump ship when the opportunity arises.

The crack is NOT caused by her trying to expand her social circle outside that of her relationship - but rather, if the introduction of this guy could possess the power to devastate your relationship, I say it's more than meets the eye because if your relationship of two years cannot even handle the appearance of one fellow - looks like the structure of your relationship isn't as sturdy as you might thought it could be.

Love can withstand any adversity ONLY if it's true to its highest and most sacred intention. Superficiality and inferior love will only crumble with the passing of time for a feeble relationship cannot endure the decomposition nature of time. Time, being the greatest test of love, will always seek to comminute - what years of relationship you took to build - overnight... like how fragile a glass can be... smashing delicately against the brick wall.

Sadly, if your love decides that she wants to out, there's little you could possibly do to restore this damaged relationship. For love has neither auto-save nor backup function to return back to the 'golden age' of your relationship. Your request for a cool down period probably hints that this relationship is almost as good as gone.

A cool down period hardly serve its original purpose - more often than not, it's usually served as a preparation for one to leave the shore to pursue new isles.

This period might just give her enough clarity to take flight and fly high. And you: the time for acceptance and the courage to walk forward.

Cheers

Do It Anyway

It's really ironic how a vicissitude of phenomena would transform into actual manifestation of obstacles, despite bearing no intention of the latter where it was never known to be. Obstacles that exist not physically, but packaged precisely into our psychological and emotional platform, acting mutinously to sacrilege the Self component, coming from a push factor.

The impermanency of matters and form is the natural cycle of life. That itself will seek to destroy what that has been build or sustain till date. As long as the dust of life conjured anything you could seek in Air, Land, Sea - nothing is permanent. Whether physical, emotional or spiritual.

I will quote from Mother Teresa:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 061207

Originally posted by mother-of-pearl:

I found out tat my bf had betrayed me....after being together for 3 long years.

Few months ago, I suspect something amiss..Sixth sense maybe.And i was right. I knew it right from the start and was pretending tat i didnt know a single thing.

I exploded and confronted him...He said he was stressed.. He didnt know what he was doing...

He asked for my forgiveness... and I forgave him.

He shows me her sms to him tat she wanted to maintain as frens with him, seeked my opinion, and i say NO! Cannot.. Coz i tink she is unable to let go of you.

Why is he showing me the sms? Telling me abt her job, which last time he will jus flare up when i mentioned "Her".

I jus dunno wat I can do to stop it from happening once more...

Is it my fault tat led him to stray? Or i gave him too much freedom to do his things?

I devote every of myself to him... Will it pay off?

Any kind advises?

Thanks..

Most relationship never made it there because most relationships perish, not because of circumstances, but because of inner conditions.

Allow me to share my two cents for your consideration: please do not reckon that the mutual respect of space, freedom and understanding contributes to the downfall of your relationship. In fact, it's probably the first finger we often pinpoint whenever promiscuity/infidelity strikes in any relationship.

But I can tell you these only represent the catalysis.

The attribution to external causes per se only reveals a distorted truth; it always seeks to blur the real underlying problem of ourselves and tries to besmirch one's perception in Love.

Our relationship is never stagnant; stagnation is but an phrase we often used to describe the life of a relationship, but theoretically, relationship never stays dormant. A long period of stagnation is often unconscious degeneration of the relationship and before you know it, this degeneration will be revealed upon the introduction of 'catalysis'.

One must fully understand that relationship is indeed forged by freewill. Nobody is coerced to love another person; we love incidentally and later made the choice to further this love into a relationship. Therefore, you got to weigh your own risk to see if you are still willing to pool the resources to make this investment worthwhile.

Pull out if you can't seem to forgive - you will save yourself a lot of misery.

Hardwork never equate to success in love - you merely learn to adapt according to what your cosmic lesson would require and introspect regularly. Never set yourself on the degenerating path no matter what your encounters are - it's sad to know of people who saw the beauty of trust, only to destroy and blind this perception they once to bad circumstances.

So continue to keep good perspective and definition of love, but work hard at keeping the flame alive, if your decision is to continue. Three years of relationship might be a major consideration why you are still willing to give it a try, but if you are just planning to try-try-see-how, I say don't bother. Either you do your best to make it work, or drop everything altogether.

I will reiterate again: that would seriously save you a lot of misery.

If we go back to the golden rule - whatever decision you make, it must eventually bring you happiness. From there, I believe it should dissolve your dilemma… like sugar to hot water.

Cheers

If she were 15

This is ONE hell of a funny ad! Hahahahahahahahhahahaha!

Adeline (Marcom)

Adeline has left. I sincerely wish her all the best.

Have always seen her like my 大姐.



And before she ciao, she gave me a sweet.



P.S: I just have to say this: Corp MTKG loves her!

Cheers

Aunt Agony 251107 (Continued from Aunt Agony 131107)

*Analysis between conflicts of Self*

Based on of your birth details (subjected to your accuracy of your birth time):

There is an extremely strong tension in your natal chart surrounding your individual self component (Ascendant is heavily afflicted by a T-square aspect, involving planets acting as significators from 1st - 5th house, stellium in 1st house, conjunction of all outer planets). Your entity of Self isn't just tied down; it's glued, bolted, nailed, and buried ten thousand feet beneath earth, with you struggling to get out from this incarceration.

I see suppression - (Uranus conjunct Saturn in tight 0 degree aspect). I am going to explain your situation paradoxically with this set of irony: Your have an individualistic inner personality that subconsciously wants to free itself from your subconscious dimension, by manifesting it in your consciousness and transforming you as a person likewise. But simultaneously, you have a very 'safe' and rigid attitude towards this transformation because Saturn seeks to conserve and crystallize this energy from scattering.

The best analogy I can give you is our PAP government - our government is maturing at a very slow rate; they understand the importance of liberty and freedom... on how creativity, entrepreneurship, arts, etc, will bring Singapore to the next level of growth, but are not willing to lose sight of the shore.

While others might dismiss your situation as innocuous, to make matter a little worst, you have a very enervated Mars (in Anaretic Degree) completely drowned in the sign of Pisces (also part of the T-square). In simple, your chart revealed personality weakness and lack of courage to initiative changes or decision that would ruin status quo. This creates a synergy with the above pointer - your helplessness lies greatly with your perception of how futile you see yourself in changing your circumstances.

However, despite all that, you did not resign to fate (Uranus in 1st house wouldn't easily allow it) - but what happens is that your quiet frustration and tension builds upon your helplessness and when the condition are right, it triggers an astrologically acute depression (Saturn in 1st house, conjunct Neptune are all signs of depressive outlook in a person). Approximately, your trigger will occur around:

1) 4.83 years old

2) 12 years old

3) 19.58 years old (I think you just hit (or is hitting) this currently)

Even if you don't really understand what I said above, it doesn't matter because whatever I have just said is not as important as what I am going to say now:

To change your plight, you must first seek the strength to change from within. Your inner strength is feeble; your desire for changes never matched up with the action needed for changes to occur. If you can never see that you are the key ingredient to overcome your struggles in life, you will always live a life of suppression.

And that fear will always make decision on your behalf - you never fully become yourself as a person.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 241107

Originally posted by papercut87:

date a guy who is very nice and caring to you but the only thing u cannot tolerate is his vulnerability and sensitivity? like he gets emo, jealous and hurt very easily (not angry) over small issues or things you say... whereby sometimes u dont even know that u've hurt him..

because of that, he thinks alot and gets really depressed after that... and comes pouring everything out to you.. and u have to listen him out. in summary, its always the girl who is stronger (emotionally) and the one comforting the guy..

but other than that.. he's seems pretty ok.... like he has pretty gd qualities of a partner.. how? :? guys, is it normal to be like that?

I think it's immaterial with regards to the gender or the susceptibility of being emotional - in fact when you meet guys like these, it's always the definition of love that spur people to behave in certain manner. Certainly, our blueprint in love and its development conceive this definition, but in return, our definition of love will strengthen and reiterate how we express our behaviour and affection.

It is a skintight connection.

Humans are emotional - everybody is. The only difference lies with the degree of how overwhelming our emotions are in taking charge of our life. Love specifically touches this very deep aspect of our emotions on a profound level and if one's emotional development is screwed and especially if his/her perception is warped in love - chances are, he will transform into a man or woman you have mentioned in your post.

Lack of self evolution, understanding and wisdom (topped with the existence of abundance fear) will drive people to accept possessiveness, extreme jealousy and exert control as the key to 'secure' (what they reckon) the 'things' that belongs to them. Love is always freedom and freewill - our human intervention always produces a Touch-Of-Death, thinking that we can halt love from slipping away.

It never worked.

Love is never tangible - ironically, the more they accept these hogwash definitions, the less fulfilling their relationship will be and the more likely it is for them to destroy their own relationship with their bare hands eventually.

And the cycle will repeat until their karma and cosmic lessons whipped them into realization. Of course, realization never come to some people - which is why some will never come to understand Love beyond their closed minded perception, even till his/her deathbed.

Sometimes I find it laughable and dismaying, simultaneously, when I speak to people and discovered that the gist of the conversation seemed to suggest that their self worth & meaning of existence can only be validated through the existence of their Love relationship. And I will hear of all their emotional justification:

I) The prerogative for emotional dependency & self pity.

II) The need for excessive attention.

III) Unrealistic emotional demands that will not be able to sustain itself over a vast period of time.

They probably thought that having no BGR relationship is probably the closest resemblance of having no life. That intrinsically suggests that the person probably has very weak outlook in life & love and never believe that self love must come BEFORE love.

Like two pillars supporting a structure - if one pillar is merely leeching strength from other to be around, then surely, it will be draining for the other pillar and wouldn't be long before the whole structure collapse because this is often an unrealistic model in Love.

I cannot comprehend how, without first having that self love and seeking our identity, could one even move along the higher learning of Love? It's ridiculously simple - one, being a stranger to himself, wants to know a stranger better than himself?

No wonder divorce rate are climbing and people are indulging into nugatory relationships, only to spilt for the SAME underlying reasons over and over again. This whole distorted perception and corrupted attitude towards themselves hardly differs very much towards their relationship.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 221107 (Yunhaier X walsea)

Originally posted by petti:

You and your boyfriend go to a party, and you accompanied him to a convenience store nearby to get ciggies. He went into the store while you waited for him outside. Waited for a few seconds and decided to go in to join him.

The convenience store keeper, a rather plump yet sexy malay girl said to you "guess what did you bf said to me. i was asking him is that sexy girl outside your gf, and he told me "not as sexy as you""

Is this betrayal? Is this acceptable to you?

Originally posted by walesa:

With the greatest respect to some well-intended postings, I find some of the views here absolutely laughable. If you're going to follow them, I'd be amazed if this relationship of yours would even last another 6 months (well, maybe exaggerated, but you get the drift), much less a lifetime (if that's even your ultimate aim). Ultimately, this is another example of a relationship founded on the basis of insecurity.

For a start, whatever your take is on the incident, you're pretty much entitled to it. That said, I just can never fathom how affirming a belief on the basis of someone else's views (so what if your mutual friends vouch for his (un)faithfulness? ultimately, it's what you think that matters) or adopting a tit-for-tat approach (as some have foolishly suggested that you do "not commit fully" to this relationship - look, if you aren't going to commit, why not just call it a day? it's going to do both of you a world of good, instead of sparking a tit-for-tat war) would actually rectify this problem. While the facts of the circumstances are seemingly innocuous to me, you could interpret it very differently - which you're entitled to do, obviously.

That said, this is your relationship - not mine or your mutual friends' - and ultimately, it's you who will be taking full stock and responsibility for what comes out of it. It's pretty much senseless for you to seek the validation or repudiation of whatever your values or perception of this incident to be - ultimately, if this incident is unacceptable to you, it wouldn't matter an iota if everyone told you it's actually pretty harmless.

The least you could do - if you believe this relationship is still special and worth something - is give this a fair shot at working by ironing out the differences with your beau through the communication of your fears and worries. By that, I don't mean communicating nonsensical ideas like ensuring equality and playing on each other's insecurity (your beau, from your description, is hardly a secure person to begin with) through reasoning that he shouldn't have done what he did because he wouldn't be ready to put up with something similar involving you and another guy. Ultimately, all relationships are founded on the basis of give-and-take and an inherent problem that seems to surface in many insecure relationships often stem from both parties wanting to take more than they're prepared to give.

On the other hand, if you believe this relationship to be condemned beyond salvation, you might just want to call a halt to proceedings - either way, I'm sure you wouldn't want either course of action to be a result of anyone's influence other than yours and yours exclusively. That way, at least it'd be much easier for you to live with your own decision even if you should get it wrong. Do yourself a favour and start having more faith in your convictions and actions regardless of how you perceive this incident.

I have to agree with walsea, since he has posted a couple of points which I would have said as well.

It's not about the comment that devastate your day and probably coerced you to rethink if this actually classify as a form of betrayal - it's more like allowing a stranger or circumstance to sway your relationship with mere statement.

It seemed to me that your boyfriend is more inclined towards entertaining the woman than a literal or suggestive remark.

Not concurring that being flippant is right - but I seriously think that it shouldn't bring about such a heavy charge like betrayal. Not every crime will warrant a death-sentence - if it does manifest in your relationship, it would be vehemently intensive love affair.

Cheers

Ranting X Dinner at Seafood Restaurant

Made a trip down to support Marcus and his crew in this anti-smoking event, endorsed by Health Promotion Board, ran by some dance/event company in which I didn't even bother to register its name. To be brutally honest, I was pretty flabbergasted at the way how the event was held - it was terribly unprofessional and I also reckoned that it was a whole load of shit. Fortunately, this was on small scale, though I sincerely hoped it didn't turn off Jamil and Michelle... about how fucking bureaucratic Singapore is - even with respect to arts - which obviously embodied the quality of creative, albeit it was a street thing.

Duh.

This dude had to yell at Marcus's group for using powder. Yes - while the event was going on with hundreds pair of eyes observing the stage and this fellow demanded that they mop the floor. Yes - he ASKED the contestant to clean the stage. Yes - it was directed at the contestant. And nope, not the event personnel. For some mystical reason I failed to comprehend.

I had no qualms calling him a 'Pseudo-PAP dance umpire', for he said something along this genre:

"I don't want anyone of you to use powders or throw anything at the audience. If anyone does that again, I am going to penalize your score'.

This was indeed spelled with a capital WHAT THE FUCK with sixty exclaimations marks following after.

Every team had to perform a dance, with anti-smoking theme/message in them. You know, they are encouraged to exercise their creative juice (I think Marcus group did a wonderful job), but amid this freedom to self expression and in midst of this competition... they are telling you what you cannot do now? After you have rehearsed everything and prepared for the final show and now they are telling you that you cannot do this/that... now?

I was laughing my balls off when I heard that sort of shit - I tell you: this can only happen in Singapore... coming from Singaporean (especially if they are some die-hard PAP fanatics).

'Please be creative my little friends. Be as creative as humanly possible. But these are the things you can't do:

A) Blar blar blar

B) Blar blar blar

C) Blar blar blar

Seriously, we should just drop this whole facade of promoting self expression/creativity because even the people that ran the event don't even know wtf they are saying/doing.

Poor prize... poor coordination (din test music CD, dancers were missing during their turn, event timing pushed back 4 hours later, etc) ... 'stage director' was more interested in enjoying the show than to run the event proper and a whole lot of crap experience I got from this event.

I guess we should just stick with Suntec Dance and probably Funkamania.

This is just CMIGG.

***

Anyway - some photos taken at the seafood restaurant.









Cheers

Aunt Agony 181107

Originally posted by jingjing_1988:

it is possible for 2 different types of character of ppl to be couples for long? :|

Originally posted by SoulDivine:

Definitely possible. One good example is Gemini and Virgo, they are have different characteristic, one Air the other Earth, one Yang the other Yin, but they are still rather compatible because they both can challenge and learn from each other.

However, if you talking about Gemini and Scorpio... life will be a power struggle:x, since Scorpio wants to control Gemini more to achieve high level of security but Gemini wants to be free like the wind, major character conflict in this case.

Without details of our natal charts; it's impossible to determine compatibility of a couple, based on mere Sun Sign.

The significactor of a chart or certain dignified planets could have more impact than our Sun Sign per se because critically and logically, we have more than just 12 types of human being.

P.S: Relationship doesn't always rule on the emotional plane of existence; every relationship is affected by the four elemental factors, appears in three planes of existence (Prime, Emotional and Spiritual), segmented by two variation of bonds (karmic & benefic) conjured by one dimension of our cosmic lesson. There's a tight relationship between the pyramid theory of CloUdiSm and our innate love wisdom cap in every individual because essentially, not everyone needs higher learning in love to love.

As an advice to all: if anyone of you is interested in New Age, I would encourage you to study beyond that of Sun Sign. And also to dismiss 'astrological column' written in magazine, newspaper and some internet sites because that's truly crap. It is there for commercial entertainment, bears no responsibility over what they have written and damaged the reputation of REAL astrology.

Cheers

Celebrity Soccer Event

The forty of us came together for a show, initiated via word of mouth.

Most probably regarded it as another ordinary event... after all, I believed most have did bigger events like NDP, therefore this might be nothing in comparison.

It was only until the final moments: when we stood with our hands hung high in the air, together in one collective entity in our middle of the green field - the pride and passion found in a group of youths coming together and accomplishing this mission is indeed dope shit.

I seen Karen and a few others who cried; thinking that this is the end.

Hell no.

This is but the birth of HR Crew.

We would love to be able to gather everyone back, after the initial struggle to get this set up.

No matter where are we - we will all be connected through our daimoku.

Spiritually, we are really one entity - away but never apart.

You all will always be my brothers and sisters in dance and in faith.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 161107

Originally posted by CrimsonWind:

I got to know G last year. We're in the same class. Used to be sworn enemies at first, but as time passed, we got to know each other better and now we are close friends. I don't know if she does treat me as a close friend but I do, at least I can guarantee that I'm one of the closer ones with her in class. Thinking back now, we were once foe but now friend.

Everything went on nice daily, always looking out for my 2 best pals(G is one of them, the other one is a guy), always discussing what to have for lunch, enjoys the time spent with both of them, looking forward to the next laugh with them.

It was until one day(few months ago) when another guy told me that he fell for G, a strange feeling overwhelmed me...like despair. He started by asking if I like M and if we have any special bond. Of course I said no and he went on saying that he can foresee that G and I will be together but I just shooed that sentence away. Then he felt safe enough to confess that he likes G.

After that incident, I've been pondering what that feeling I had was about. I reflected my memories so many times but I couldn't come to a solution. Or maybe I should say, I didn't dare to tell myself the final answer because I know what it is. Everyday, I'm only staring at the door in the morning because the sight of G is like my coffee for the day, discussed what to have for lunch so I know that she's eating well, enjoys the time spent with her knowing that she's well and also I can hear her voice, always looking forward for the next laugh to see her smile and know that she's at least happy.

It sucks, I always thought that I treat G only like a buddy and didn't expect myself to slip so easily. I know I can't continue like this, and since we are both in the same team on an important project coming up, having those feelings for her is an even more no no. If luck is on my side, any BGR will only hinder the whole group. If luck isn't on my side, the distance that my confession will make between G and I will break the team.

That's y I need some of your valuable suggestions on how I can keep my feelings within boundaries. How do I form a heart of stone? I still want to remain as close friends with her, but I do not want to fall for her...

Thanks for your time.

CrimsonWind~

How do you want to turn your heart into stone when you cannot escape the fact that the heart is indeed made up of flesh and blood?

And because you can't, there's no way you are able to avoid feeling what you are feeling - an avoidance tactic will never resolve your inner turbulence. You can always tell yourself a million times that you don't want to fall in love with her, but if that's of any help in the first place, then you probably won't be in agony.

The truth is that you are suffering because you are resisting against this natural rhythm of life - you got to accept the emotions that are surfacing and decide how are you going to deal with this love. Constraining love's presence will only encourage it to escalate out of control and it usually promises much misery.

You cannot return back to where you come from; you can only decide how you want to move from here. Upon realization of your feelings for your woman, there is simply no way you can revert back being a close friend, without this overwhelming, flooding love that seeks to embrace your relationship with her.

Deny all you want - at the end of the day, you will face your naked soul alone, with all the suppression you coerced yourself to believe in.

Sometimes in Love, a boy never grows into a man... until you introduce a competitor. The competitor is not a competitor; it's a catalysis for transformation.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 141107

Originally posted by NotADream:

I am really in agony, i jumped into this knowing i would have to face this someday. I didnt know how to start, but here is it.

I can still clearly remember our first "official conversation" 3 years ago. I was in the school's library and she was very busy typing on her computer. I went over and sat down and said "You look really tired". She stopped typing, smiled at me and said, "For my post-grad research, i've got a student helper, but he went missing. I guess transcripting like this is not for everyone."

I said something and went off for lunch. After lunch, i bought coffee and headed over to the library. I gave her the coffee and i could see that she was really happy, then i handed her my thumb drive. She was reluctant at first, but in the end, she still accepted my offer to help with her transcripting. That was when i got her cell phone number and MSN, in case i encountered problems with the transcripting...

That was how we started everything. I was then 18, finishing my A levels, and enlisting. She was then, 27, an attractive teacher and post graduate in my school doing research and teaching.

We got pretty close, and tease each other alot. I didnt give it much thought at first, i just liked her company, and she didnt mind too.

With my help, she finished her research on time, and she wanted to pay me for the job done, but i declined. I jokingly said i wanted a meal, and that is what she did. We had our first dinner together at a small, inexpensive restaurant, and the start of many more to come.

Months later, i was enlisted. She accompanied me alot before enlistment, even more then my parents. Every night, i would exchange sms with her, she would brighten up my night. Once, i am able to book out for a day due to public holiday, and i dreaded the long journey home. I called her, and she agreed letting my stay over for the night at her place in pasiris since she lives in a rented apartment alone. That was the start of my staying over at her place during weekend breaks or holiday breaks. She would help wash my laundry, cook, watch television together and sometimes even massage my back for me.

I knew we were not just purely friends since then.

now i am 21, she's 30. I am having a steady job and doing my degree at SIM at the same time. She now teaches in a certain institution. We are an item.

Few weeks back, we had a chat.. She felt that we should make known our relationship... I am fine with that... and her mother objects to our relationship very very strongly...

She loves me, and i loves her. Now, we are facing pressure from family, friends and even when we are out, shop assistants/owners addresses us as siblings and such. Are we really not suitable? Why cant we be together?

Who determines your outcome and final judgement in love?

Is it your friends? Your parents? Or God?

If you are having visionary plans to pursue this relationship adamantly, you will surely encounter endless obstacles along the way. I am not saying this to discourage you from loving the woman you have chosen, but rather, to set you on the correct mindset first and picture reality, without having to love while revelling in delusion.

There's only one way if you desire to love the way you want - that is to banish traditions and demonstrate your inexorable ideals in love - which is by having to succeed solely with the power of love against all odds.

You cannot blame our society from having such bigotry perception because the culture here bends towards assimilation than diversity - people cannot seem to accept others/views/situations that are different from the 'norm' or themselves.

What matters is the powerful force of love surging inside the both of you; who cares about what other people might think? But the former must materialise with substance, if not this equation would be weak and gives little incentive to pursue such challenging relationship. Remember: every reason outside the perimeter of true love merely reinforced the reason why you shouldn't go along with this because this belongs to RHC (CloUdiSm: Relationship of Higher Complication).

If you do not have the inner strength to take on such daunting challenges, I would suggest just forget about this whole thing because your relationship will never be a bed of roses until you overpower this Saturn-influenced relationship. You got to accept this notion from day one and work out your strategy based on this background.

The minute you slacken - you will lose this war rapidly and your relationship will start to disintegrate like vampire to sunlight. Comparing to other 'conventional' relationship - you probably have twice the area to defend, with half the troops available.

You can degenerate this relationship to societal pressure and appease the majority, but when your regrets start to sink in like viscous goo, nobody will share your emotional torment; you will live with the consequence of your choice.

If the relationship must fail; let it be the will of fate... not the will of man.

Cheers