Aunt Agony 281205

Originally posted by speedemon:
I'm with my gf (I knew from camp) for 5 months plus(at the point of time), and one very fine day we to the IDP open house and I happened to bump onto "her", She was my campmate and of course my gf know her too. So that night I called her to ask her why she was there, what course she's going to take when she is going to Australia etc.. Basically to sum it up is to know how’s she doing. So we find each other able to communicate well and so quite often I'll call her to chit chat without my gf knowing and in no time my feelings for her grew. One fine day when we're about to end the conversation. I was telling her that me as a friend can only know her at the most 70% the rest is only accessible by the boyfriend, So she said:" Do you want the access??" Well I said “I already have a girl friend already so I cannot have the access.” Perhaps this conversation was the catalyst that made us grew closer. But anyway I called her to ask her if she has any other meaning behind the above said conversation. She said no. Perhaps she's shy or what I don’t know... Anyway so occasionally we still do chat on the phone. And what happened after this I can’t really remember. All I remember was that I didn’t treat my gf well and I care for the other party more.

And so on the day of my birthday, I called "her" in the morning to ask her if she is free to go out with me later in the day (Cos my gf working), "She" accepted the date. I was so happy that I’m finally able to date "her" out. Then later in the day my gf called to tell me that she's free to celebrate my birthday with me. I stumbled and think , my once in a blue moon chance of dating "her" out spoilt by my gf. No way I’m going to let that happened. So I cook up some excuse to ask her to rest at home (cos she sick take MC). So that night I had a very happy time with "her". She got me a very small cake (previous night I got stuffed with cake) and I was very touched by her little action. I dun believe that she’ll make the effort on her normal friends. Then on Saturday I told my gf I wanted a breakup because I kept looking for "her" no point in us continuing on. My gf was devasted , a guy that she loved a lot did this to her, willing to spend his birthday with another gal instead of own gf. Seeing her so sad, my heart very soft :-( Then the next day I was very sad and unhappy that she breakup with me. In the morning, I messaged "her" that I just broke up with my gf, as usual "she" did not reply me. So I spend the day feeling very sad. When I was home at night, I couldn't stand the time without my gf around. So I called my gf to tell her that I wanted to take back all that I’ve said. And promised her that I would forget “her” and not look for “her” again. She did allow me to be her boyfriend once again, but she wanted me to re-chase her. I said that’s its not possible for such things to happen because we’ll never go back to the honeymoon period. The 1st week of patching up was terrible. We quarrel the re-chase, she mention something about my attitude, maturity and etc. But the following week was a lot easier, that’s when I finally made her drop the idea of the re-chase. Then she went out of country for holiday, I pondered if I should go look for “her” again as her birthday was approaching. Finally I decided to ask “her” out on “her” birthday, “she” then di di da ly for a few days before confirming with me.

I was hoping that Friday came faster and faster so that I can see “her”, so I brought “her” present and decided on where to go and stuff. Just then I wondered, if the girl that I’m celebrating for is my own gf, would I have done so much for her? I knew wouldn’t. So Friday came and brought “her” out for birthday and after which “she” was very happy and contented with what I’ve come up for “her”. During our chat at the seaside “she” did once mention that “she” did not reply my messages because “she” wanted me to concentrate on my gf. At the same time “she” said "she" wasn’t ready for a relationship, I was thinking that "her" ex must have hurt her deeply for “her” to feel this way. The next day I was thinking of “her” to whole day, if only our Christmas eve could be spend together. In the end, my gf came back and we celebrate the eve together. I did treat her nicely she was happy with me that night and on the Christmas card she wrote some very heart melting things that I feel that I should just forget about “her”. Then i thought; do I love my gf or its just LIKE thats why i'm with my gf?

I feel that somehow I need to make a choice for myself, I admit that I’m very afraid of breaking up with my current gf even though I found someone that suits me. I hate the pain that’s involved but guess it all part and parcel of a relationship. What goes up must come down. Or perhaps my gf is the one except that I’m blinded other factors. I’m not physically attracted to her, so I presumed that I’m not having crushes.

I love/like my gf for she is an caring person and someone that dote on me alot. But she lack the matureirty and we have different thinking. My gf is quite possisvie in the sense that she's like me to be with her often. But she's losen up a little these days.


Someone CAME into your heart and seized the throne that was meant for your gf.

This is a truth.

And when this someone actually had the POWER to do so... effectively, your Love for your gf is waning.

And when you have reflected and thought that the reason why you are staying onto the relationship is NOT out of Love... effectively, you have also lost the core reason why you should remain in it.

P.S: The other girl's existence is a mirror onto your own fragile relationship - it reflects every corner of your love in details... that Love may be missing right from the beginning.

Cheers