Aunt Agony 091205

Originally posted by HougangBoy:

I am married and i fall in love with a married woman. Dont want to go into the detail. But in this situation, am i selfish to give up my marriage just to be together with my love? Or rather is it better off if she and i go back to our respective legal partner?

Actually before marriage i already have some feeling for this gal but at that time, i didnt do anything cos my wife has been together with me for quite a long time. In the end, i lose contact with this gal till i get married. Then we start chatting again and over the time, we confess our feeling to each other. And i think my feeling for this gal overshadow my feeling for my wife now.


You are overpowered by regrets, not by Love.

Your regret is based on the fact that this girl didn't have any beginning with you and thus this malicious regret lived in you all these while - before AND after marriage. And when you give it a chance to blossom, the suppression creates a tremendous amount of emotional energy, which you thought that this 'love' overshadowed the feelings for your wife.

It is very simple to discern this kind of scenario from those who lost faith in their current relationship and falling for someone else completely. Chances are, you still love your wife, but somehow, your emotions are flowing all directions, which cease your ability to think, feel and understand.

And to think that you have lost your love for your wife to pursue what 'your heart seeks'... you will come to an understanding that in the end, your relationship with her will likely to fail because you realise that this woman isn't as perfect as you thought she would be when reality sinks in. This is the Love theory of Fantasy, as the facade crumbles when reality is introduced.

This is, in fact, one of the several dimensions in karmic love. CloUdiSm termed it as Fifth of Cups.

P.S: Please make use of time to exercise self enlightenment. There has never been a better opportunity to get to know yourself. To employ haste and to judge your decision wholly based on your current emotional confusion will only serve to fulfil this karmic debt.

Cheers