Aunt Agony 110407

Originally posted by themoment86:
eh...here's my story..i had been datin my bf for 3mths..but 1 month ago break le..but then we would still hang out together almost everyday lo...but at that time he is 2timin me..and i knw it..but i dun mind la..becoz of some reason..anyway break le la...but now the prob is..we would go out ma...then can play until kinda wat lo...quite intimate but no kissin etc nia la..cuddle all these all got...then ytd when goin home that time he sms me sayin he felt abit sad and weird becoz of goin different direction...then i was like eh?y would he feel that way?he admit he miss me oso...-.- anybody help? Thanks



What sort of help you do seek if you already did mention that you don't mind being the third party? I seriously doubt anybody gonna support your choice to be a third party, make yourself miserable and ruin those who are involved, including yourself, in this triangular love affair.

If your man is sincere, he would abandon his current relationship to pursue one with you. Apparently, he chose the two timing option because it's non-committed.

Do you consider that as love? Or is it just very convenient way of doing things?

He isn't liable for any responsibility because the 'unwritten clause' in this sub rosa relationship is non-commitment. You are needed when there's a need for you to fill in his emotional chasm created by his current relationship. At the end of the day, he goes back to his woman WHOM he has the burden of responsibility over and you are kept away like a discarded toy.

Is that the way of love you seek?

He employed flippant words to retain your feelings; but does that amount to anything? Yeah, missing you... loving you... and all that typical sweet nothings that an inexperienced woman would fluster in love excitement - has that spur any initiative, actions or plans he has for you since actions speak louder than words and if he does love you, the former would materialise?

Nothing.

It seemed to me that you enjoyed his company and doesn't mind going out with him even that tantamount to be playing with fire.

Perhaps only when the fire sear you badly, would you then deter yourself from such foolishness that doesn't have an end to begin with.

Cheers

Linda Liao in NEL

Linda Liao in NEL!!!!!! ^_^

Cheers

Aunt Agony II 080407

Originally posted by jeraldine!:
Hello, im littlefishtan! (earlier account). I got dumped because....



My bf thinks we are incompatible because im like more academically inclined, physically inclined, musically inclined and artistically inclined than he is.... i feels im trying to outshine him by gaining more knowledge and learning more things.... =(

And also,
Because this was a new year at school, he graduated and hence he wanted me to report mydaily interaction with male friends. So thats what i did, like i told him in detail everyday what i did. Even though i talked about only neutral conversations which classmates would have, he got extremely suspicious abt ppl around me and kept accusing things like

"You like this person right? that person like you right?"

His control tightened. He began to start controlling the way i dressed... like he wanted me to dress horribily when we go out..so no one will look in my direction....

He said he got tired from all 'the problems' (even though they were not really existent as i didnt like anyone else and no one else was interested in me) and hence got tired from facing and fighting all the external threats.

Now just after two weeks of break up, hes dating someone who is in the normal acad stream. =( How? Do you think i still have hope..... I tried to explain all the misudnerstandings but he wont listen....
I dont want to lose him. Hes the very rare type of guy... extremely loyal, decent, helpful, gentlemanly, caring and very filial to his parents......

I need advice badly... should i...
1. Move on
2. Wait for a while, den try again
3. Continue to persuade him to stay

Pls.... advice me on this issue.. Thank you... ='(



You sure all the qualities you have listed in your man is something exclusive only to him and devoid in most other man?

***

Your man is a classic MCP example; brandished with a gnawing inferior complex and expect his woman to be beneath him in all aspects. True enough, typical MCP guys have positive qualities like unwavering loyalty and some 'overly caring' personality (read possessiveness), but they can't comprehend the concept of trust, freedom and power equality.

In fact, as long as certain events are not within their span of control, the suspicion gets into them instantaneously.

It doesn't matter if it was the truth or not - his perceived state of mind is the inexorably truth he so believes in - explaination is merely a red herring. It doesn't matter if your relationship is stable, his wild state of emotions belie fact from friction, listened only to his heart, which has totally been consumed by inferiority complex.

There's no logic in emotions that has been tainted by inferiority; all his actions merely fill in the void that is missing inside his esteem.

How long can you remain in a relationship without trust? If you constantly allow your reasoning of 'he's a very rare type of guy' to misrepresent your stand to remain, then you are probably better off without being with this 'very rare type of guy', because your 'rare guy' brings forth a very 'common disastrous trait' to any relationship.

In that case, 'rare' could he be?

Telling you to DRESS down because he doesn’t want you to attract attention – that’s another typical MCP method of 'ensuring security'. Crap.

If you could find him dating someone else after two weeks of breaking up, I suppose you should also be on your route to find new guys... especially man who could handle woman as his equal and not constantly looking for dumber, lesser woman in all aspects.

His fleeting love also suggested much about the depth of love he has for you.

I think the answer you seek is quite clear.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 080407

Originally posted by givemeluck:
how do u guys feel when u know u are juz a spare tyre to her ?(she's attached) , or hopelessly continue this short term relationship knowing that one day she will leave u ? i seriously don't know what to do , i cant give up on her at this moment. i tried once to take a step back , but i go back to her again within a few days.

short and sweet(give up) or long and bitter(stay on) ?


There is no point telling yourself to move along if you do not even understand the essence why you have to make that choice. It's like trying do something without truly knowing why you should do it.

It's no surprise that eventually you would saunter back to this pit of suffering.

If you felt strongly that you are nothing but a spare tyre, it's up to your own wisdom to determine if you don't mind being a spare tyre or if you want to grasp hold of yourself and make a wise choice for once.

Telling yourself you can't do it signifies a lack of enlightenment. In my own words, it probably means you have not 'wound' yourself deep enough to see the 'light of the tunnel.'

You mentioned that you are suffering - but why doesn't it substantiate your will to leave her?

P.S: It doesn't matter whether you leave her or not; at the very least, when you are in a relationship, you must be happy leading it. If you are wretched and miserable, I suggest you do something to undo that curse.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 070407

Originally posted by sadboyboy:
ok... if you have a group of good friends.. so called buddies... then 1 day... u find out 1 of them is trying to snatch yr gf... how will u feel...?? my feeling or so called 6th sense might be wrong... but if one day... u see it with yr own eyes that the fucker comes out of your gf's hse... wad will u do??

for me... i went up... and i use the gave the guy a few punch on the face.. stomach... chest... and i end up being charged... is it fair...?? and my girlfriend is not standing on either our side... wad am i to do??

i was serving NS... and this type of thing have to happen... the feeling is really damn fucking not good... even my buddy in camp wanted to help me beat him up too...


Your ego is trashed completely.

Having to enlist into the military, you abrogated your freedom and personal pride as your officer in charge now holds direct authority over you; like master and slave.

Booking out, hoping to catch a glimpse of your love and at least revel in those precious moments with her, ended up tragically as you probably uncovered details of their clandestine meeting.

Every punches you hurl, signifies a wounded ego trying to salvage whatever mote of manhood that existed prior before this cataclysm falls on you.

Eventually, I hope you realised that you can't force a woman to love you whole heartedly and to remain loyal if she doesn't want to. You can't coerced love out from somebody and if your woman has the intention to cheat you, there is simply no way and nothing you could do to stop her.

It has nothing to do with conscription.

It merely revealed the frailties of your relationship.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 060407

Originally posted by Moon Pixie:
is love really just a game?

how come people can have so many relationships and then end up with someone whom they say is the love of their life?

what happened to the previous relationships? what did they amount to?

is love not precious?



When you congregate and lump everything together, emotional blockage are bound to occur.

It is precisely thoughts like these that breed depression and stagnation in people's course of direction.

Why would you have to consider your past as a factor into your present and future? If you probe deeper, would that necessarily means you are more 'sentimental' as people might claim?

No.

But surely, I can tell you are more easily vulnerable to depression attack.

There are too much consideration for the mundane.

Each individual carries a tag of 'lesson/s' with them. You accept them into your life, you receive the lesson in return. After the exchange, they are gone. You are now questioning their existence, if there anything more than just the 'lesson' they bring forth.

I say hardly.

You pick a route.

You walk.

If you have to constantly remind yourself why you walk this direction and thought about the 'what if' in another separate direction - you are just making your life miserable.

Life is made in such a way that there isn't a 'Save' and 'Load' option akin to any one player game - it's more like a MMORPG.

Cheers

The 'Truth' Revealed

I am flabbergasted utterly. Nothing in my known vocabulary could clearly describe my deepest contempt I had for this bitch.

I suck it in, and watch how my delicate pride shattered like a piece of worthless trinket... enduring everything emotionally and timely halted my raging anger that threatned to wipe that nonchalant look off her fucking face.

Fortunately, I am emotionally attune to handle all gamut of emotions.

Never had I felt so short changed and worst - DEFAMED in such malicious extend that I could murder the fucking daylight out of that bitch.

The termination bomb dropped on me at about 1540hrs.

I finished my task at about 1600 hrs.

I approached the bitch for a proper explaination on why I was terminated and she told me that I wasn't 'pro-active enough' in her own words. It read slacking, not doing work and not taking initiative'.

I almost said fuck you.

The normal office hours last from 0900 hrs - 1800hrs (standard).

My first day at work, I left the office at 1900hrs.

My second day, I left the office at 2000hrs.

My third day, I left the office at 2030hrs.

And when I was preparing to work late again on my fourth, without a single word of complain, this fuck shit happened to me.

Everyday I came to work 5-10 minutes earlier, just to prepare myself for the day's work.

Because I didn't had banking/investment/finance background, I had 'notes' and made 'notes' comparable to that of any decent textbook. When I had completed my task and ensured that I really had nothing to do, I took those 'notes' out and gone through everything because I felt it's better to understand the entire structure and reasoning of this department and what I am doing.

And ALL these are done not because I was told to do; it came as naturally as anybody in my shoes wanting to be hard working. And there wasn't any credit for me to claim in this and I wasn't looking for any - I just wanted to feel more adequate being in my position knowing, understand and ability to contribute more to my dept.

Cedric told me that on his side, Sally the bitch rant about me not willing to work, use the phone, sms and even said that I don't even want to photocopy and even commented about how mundane it is.

OMFG, I almost screamed on the phone when I heard the last claim.

I swore to the God in heaven that if the claims was true, I would fucking get knock down by the next car that comes in my way. SINCE FUCKING WHEN DID I REJECT OR GAVE ATTITUDE when I was given any task/work? In fact, I did asked if there was more to do because I had none, just that jessica didn't had anything for me.

As for using the phone? I was like HUH? I only replied a few SMS in response, which took me less than 30 second before I switch back working.

AND THEN?

THE FUCKING TRUTH?

SOME EX-WORKER OF FORTIS IS COMING BACK AND SINCE THERE WASN'T ANY POSITION AVAILABLE, SALLY THE QUEEN BITCH DECIDE TO REMOVE ME.

How convenient!

How fucking shrewd!

I wouldn't felt so fucking pissed if she have told me that they have engaged somebody more experienced to take over me. I would have accepted it, although slightly disappointed, but surely I would still move along fine.

This Sally bitch slander the fuck out of gawd-damn life, making heaps of malicious, untrue claims about my weak productivity and bad attitude at work to Winnie, who had no choice but to accept her reasoning and end my contract.

Sally the bitch is so fucking intelligent that I applauded for her ingenious strategy - Fortis had to pay Winnie for my employment and by removing me, it literally kill two birds with one stone. She could get someone else more experienced, yet at the same time, she saved the cost of having to pay Winnie.

So fucking smart - nevermind if she hurl words of lie about me. Nevermind if she accuse me of nothing. As long as it suffice to get me out without having to pay compensation to Winnie, that's how FUCKING LOW she can go.

That's a fucking low blow

YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!

Out of Job

Sometimes, I just can't fucking believe my own luck.

I am out of job once again.... and I am still quite daze from the blast.

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

CAN I JUST FUCKING BE A PROFESSIONALLY PAID AUNT AGONY JUST TO RESOLVE THIS FUCKING JOB WOE FOR ONCE?

Aunt Agony 050407

Originally posted by ahish:
this story goes back a long way.

1 Male named T
1 Girl named J
1 Girl named Y

all of them are 21 years old, girls are in UNI, guy waiting to go into UNI(bloody ns waste of time)

J and T are together, for years already.

Y and T were classmates in JC.


still following? :


now let's go back to about 4 years ago. All 3 of them were in JC year 1. At that time T and Y were classmates, and T was with a girl(let's call her W). W and T was going on for awhile, until a model competition completely changed W's personality, at least that's what T felt. W became really superficial, materialistic. To make things worse, there's a bugger of a scumbag in W's class that she became close to. Things eventually fell apart, W emigrated to the US and of course, T and W broke up. That was in June.

T was devastated of course, although the anguish took away some of the pain. Maybe he saw it coming, that's why he didn't feel as much pain. He hated W for letting herself grow close to that scumbag, and for allowing herself to change into someone she wasn't anymore. T felt empty, but fortunately he still has good friends around him, and sports to occupy his time with.

This is when Y comes into the picture. As we already knew, Y and T were classmates. They were good friends even when T and W were together. Now that T was single, both of them grew closer. Y accompanied T through all those painful days when he was trying to forget W, soon they were doing almost everything together. Words started to spread that they were an item, judging by the way they were behaving, it's hard to deny. But it was never official.

Days, weeks, months passed. Both of them seemed satisfied with their current status, enjoying each other's company. They were, afterall, happy with the status they were at. Or at least that's what T thought. Y's friends were asking T why wasn't he making his move. T asked himself the same question too, but he wasn't sure if it's a rebound. He wanted to make sure too, that the feelings were mutual. Maybe they were just super good friends? T was not willing to risk destroying the bridge between him and Y, although her friends were telling him not to worry. T opted to wait, maybe awhile more he told himself.

In the end awhile more proved too much. Despite constant hints from Y herself, T still opted to wait. It was a mistake. Eventually, finally, suddenly, one fine day Y told T that her ex has patched up with her, her ex from her secondary school days. She was smiling, i smiled back, wished her luck.. we had that if by 25 we are still alone we'll just marry each other(this joke was some time ago). i said,'good luck and all the best to the 2 of you.. well if it doesn't work out we still can afford to wait till we are 25!' Both of us laughed, but there's sadness in the eyes. I could see it, or maybe Im wrong

Time passed by. The hurt from the days since Y 'left' remained. The wound was deeper than any other. To T, Y was perfect, she had all the qualities that T wanted in a gf. She was nice, sensitive, caring and really really thoughtful.

Soon J came into the picture. J was T's first gf, not really counted, considering out age at that time(sec sch). It was more of puppy love and at that time it ended the way all puppy love relationship ends. Hurt as T was, he welcomed any form of encouragement. J never knew about what happened between T and Y, T never said a thing. To him, the days with Y are just really memorable days that should be kept in the corner of his heart. Time passed, T never recovered from the pain of 'losing' Y, but (fast forward abit) he was willing to give it a try with J since.. well.. J initiated.. For some reason T dived head-in into a new relationship with J, thinking that hey, what didnt work out a few years ago in sec sch could actually work now! It was a nice feeling, for reasons my limited vocabulary can't describe.

To be fair, days with J were awesome. T and J were stuck together 24-7, like siamese twins. Everything they did, everywhere they went, they were together. If not for NS, there won't be any chance of them not seeing each other for more than 1 day! However, they were not without problems. J was a control freak( i know it sounds bad but i don't know how else to put it). T never had time to meet up with his friends/ do things on his own. J wants to see T everyday, wants to make all the decisions, perhaps the closest known example(to T) of a FCP( u know? opposite of MCP) T didn't mind at first, but soon it became obvious that there's no democracy in this relationship. She could do certain things, but T couldn't do the same things because.. to quote.. "i don't like u to do it". T reeeeeeeally didn't mind at first, but of course, he's human after all, there's a limit to how much one could take.

T resorted to telling lies so that he could meet up with his close buddies, his friends, and Y too when she had serious r/n problems. Late nights were common, cause in the day he had to attend to J. How long can T tahan?

3+ years went passed, T and J are still(currently) together. Y had since broken up with that guy 1 and a half years ago. The thing now is this, (long story cut short :cry: ), T STILL thinks about Y all the time, because to him, Y is perfect( as mentioned earlier). They go out on supper dates and stuff occasionally(getting more and more often now), without the knowledge of J of course. J and T nearly broke up because of her character, but on the basis that she's willing to change they patched back. However, there's no improvement. Although T can and will tolerate, T really see no future for the 2 of them. Instead, he loves it every single time when he's out with Y, they are almost just as close as last time. Y haven't changed a bit( in terms of character), T definitely will love it so much to be able to tell Y that he really likes her, if not the presence of J now. J and T's relationship has deteriorated so much, not because of Y but because their characters simply don't match. As much as they are happy together and as much as they REALLY have feelings for each other, T really cannot stand J's FCP nature.. as much as he can tolerate.

T's at a lost now.

*cry*

Choices...


Your first brush of cosmic lesson repulsed your soul so ghastly that your journey in love started going wayward from then onwards. This rancorous taste that lingers in your emotions crystalized into certain perspective-of-hatred which affected your following encounter with other women in your life.

The wounded protagonist healed by his angel; classic case of falling in love in that manner. When gentleness beset harsh reality like myriad of butterflies surrounding one hornet; we often surrender ourselves to such tenderness. We find ourselves easily drawn towards the ones that took good care of us.

You spoke about your need to make sure that this ain't a rebound; but all you need is to make sure that you disinfect every fragment of your past BEFORE you step into a new relationship, that's all that is required of you. If you can be fricken certain that you are not retracing your route even if W begs you to return, why is there a need to stall time? This is not calculated wait, in fact, to me, this deliberate wait probably suggested a subconscious-effect from W when relationship is concerned - probably appear in your mind like 'love-is-fleeting-not substantial-and-needs-a-little-more-observation-because-past-experience-tells-me-that-I-must-play-safe-to-prevent-myself-from-getting-hurt-once-again.

And when she got hooked up by some guy, you started regretting.

Then when J came, immediately, your mind reminded you of your deep regret. It probably goes something like 'Although-pain-is-terrible-but-regrets-are-much-worst'. Therefore, as you can see, you readily accepted J.

Rebound is valid here and the reason why I would say that you are taking J as a substitute for Y is because you have never left your past BEFORE you got onto J. In fact, this 'regret-is-worst-than-pain ideology' became rather strong over time- you even managed to sustain the relationship for three years plus.

How many 'wrong' choices can you afford to make before the lessons become too costly to bear?

Think about it.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 040407

Originally posted by sad&depress:
i have been with this girl for ard 6 months...and 3 weeks ago we broke off for some reason...it was only till then that i realised that i really love her deeply...i have never really treated her very well...but she has been always very accomodating to me..and even change herself for me...but when i realised that it was already too late...

i have decided to get her back and promised myself to never ever make her unhappy again. She told me alot of things after the breakup..that she still like me very much and care for me...however there is also another guy who treated her very well whenever i was not ard when we were still together. She even told me that her heart still got me and that i have a chance to chase her back...but this time round i will not be the priority anymore...i tried very hard to please her out of my true feelings till that day she confessed to me that she also like the other guy...but she is saying things like she still like me more than the other guy...she say that she needs time and wanted to clear her mind 1st and pull herself away from liking me to get to know me again, then when she is clear then she will decide. there are also other things she mentioned which are too hurtful to say.

now i only wants her to be happy as i still love her very much...although deep in my heart i still hope that she will one day return back to me...even though that day never comes and she is happy i will be satisfied.

i tried my best in many ways to touch her but she kept insisting me to be back to my normal self as this is not the true me last time...i did many things that i never did last time...and she say she can't accept it and need time as she like to remain single. but at the same time...she is giving priority to that guy she likes as well..i have tried once to ask her out but she say she is waiting for the guy to come find her and will confirm with me again...i feel very hurt...after that she say she will go out with the guy and if i want i can wait for her after that. i did waited for her after that and we went out with me trying my very best to hide my depression. thereafter she told me that i dun need to do so much things for and i should just stay as normal.

everytime when i wanted to give up she pull me back in...like she will suddenly called me up despite after saying those hurtful things to me the day after and ask me to accompany to certain places...but when i tried to step further in by expressing my true feelings...she push me off and told me not to do this as it is scaring her and she would like to remain single and decides when the right time comes.

if she is trying to pull herself from liking me and get to know me all over..wouldn't it be saying that once she dun like me she will developed greater feelings for that guy and be with him?

Why she dun want to just tell me the truth?

she mentioned things like im not my true self...but in fact it is...i have trying to hide my feelings from her when we were still together..but why she dun believe?

sorry long paragraphs..i have only few people that i can talk to...and im feeling very depress and it really hurt me..most of all i am feeling confused on what she wants..im juz trying to prove that she really meant alot to me and i really love her.

i know i dun deserve her for not tresuring her when she is with me and only realised how much she meant to me when she left...but i dunno what i should do...and its really bothering me...i cant sleep every night and can only depends on alchohol by drinking myself to sleep alone...i can no longer concentrade in my work....every secs i have been thinking of her and hoping that she will come back...but i just dunno..i keep telling myself that i give up now i will regret for life..and that if i tried for a long time but still fails at least i did my best.

im really confused why is she telling me i still got chance and like me...as well as she is pulling herself out..and that almost everyday meeting the guy..but says she will not choose who and needs time to clear her mind 1st. im afraid that one day i really couldn't take it and break down totally when she finally decided and tell me that im not the one



Your nonchalant attitude towards love ricochet an incessant pain that will probably haunt you a lifetime.

A change is only a transitory change if it is driven by desperation and not wisdom. Deep inside you, you desire her return and whatever changes you have introduced is merely fueled by the fear of lost and sheer desperation. Such are usually short term measures to appease current plight.

Evolving happens with or without her presence; she may be the catalysis to spark changes, but certainly she cannot be the absolute reason in order to maintain the 'new' you. If losing her doesn't make you a better mate in the future, or at least learn to handle your woman with love and respect, you are just the same crook in different clothing, being arrested for the same crime.

Cheers

Aunt Agony II 030407

Originally posted by DrAlienology:
For 17 years of my life I never had any hope with girls. But during the O level night classes period, this girl, whom I had feeling for back in June 2005 actually sprang a surprise on me by letting me send her home.

It was back in 4th of April when I told her I liked her.

During this one and a half years teasing on her and I are no big deal and she didn't make much noise about it too. Until in 2005 we went for lunch together a few of my friends made fun of me by pairing her up with me and they commented that my face was bloody red, literally.

In the last quarter of the year when we had our talk cock session one day she came over and joined us and sat near me. some of friends instantly asked her why is she blushing and stared at me.

Almost the entire sec 4 level of 2006 express people that knows me knows about my feelings for her.

One day during the night classes one of my friends told me that I have a competitor. That fella is superior in every single thing except in Sit and Reach and talking cock. I expressed my concern to one of my better female friends who is also close to her. She just told me "That guy cannot make it one, he got rejected flat. You no need to chase also win him"

So practically no one expected me to fail as most of them felt taht

Last year in Dec 4th I asked her out and she accepted. No objections or whatsoever. All her friends told me, that's it lah, confirm win her over already.

But why is this is AA?

On that very faithful day I asked her to go suntec. She agreed. After that I did pop the question..

she told me "I don't think so"

Not because she didn't want a relationship, not because she felt that I wasn't compatible for her(most of my friends and her close friends commented that they feel that we are v compatible), nor is it because she had a boyfriends.

But she said she wanted to concentrate on her 'A' levels that she wanted to pursue after her O levels.

I took it as another rejection and moved on. I went home and sleep.

The next day I nearly broke down on the train. I DON'T KNOW WHY.

That happened for the next few days and even my boss and in charge asked me what happened to me.

Unbearable, I contacted a close friend of mine and he listened to me rant. And for the first time he know me in 8 years, he saw me cry right in front of him.

He was stunned and told me he don't have any clue to why did she gave me such a 'unique' answer, considering all these he say he didn't know why isn't a yes given.

I went back to suntec a number of times. One common question from friends that why did I look so down. During one of my working days when I was around that area... I broke down leaving some of my friends puzzled.

But that is not the end. The O level results were released and some of my friends ask me "Are you and her together?"

I said no and they asked me if I was joking.

After the results came the posting of JAE.

She had 13 points and I got 17 points. I was about to give in to fate that she and I are not meant to be together. I asked her where did she want to go. She told me she wanted to go NY.

And she asked me where do I want to go. I told her either SR or YJ.

She then replied "so you are still choosing between SR and YJ..."

And then she kept asking me if I decided to put SR or YJ as first choice.

She hasn't summit her form, and I summit my form without telling her. Until she asked I said I chose YJ.

Just when everybody thought that NY will be her first choice before that she told me she decided to stay in YJ(her PAE was there).

I don't know what is with the sudden change of heart.

Maybe I think too much... but I really really don't know what to do..



Subconsciously, your mind bought the tale from your folks that eventually... no matter what... somehow or another that you will succeed in your chase, though you may not readily admits it. Your flowing tears and depression signifies a tumbling crash from an elevated perception brought down by an abominable reality of what love is capable of - a stroked ego conjured by people singing you nothing but praises of your seeming sure success.

Nothing is absolute in love; moreover your rate of success is not judged by how the folks around you reckoned.

Based on my experience, apart from feeling good on the ego side, the scenario of having an 'entire sec 4 level of 2006 express' dudes and dudettes knowing your affection actually works more against you. This is worsen by the fact that this 'affection' probably dragged a little far too long. Drudgery period of time worth in teasing might lengthen people's entertainment needs, but it can actually devalue people's interest over time.

Let me give you an analogy: a joke can be funny initially, but constant usage removed the humour. After hitting the apex on the humour scale, it starts going downwards. Soon, you will be in search of new jokes, because an old joke becomes stale with time without improvision. And you will be surprised to know that the newer jokes may not be as funny as the old ones, but still, it manage to fetter some attention and renew sound of laughter that the old joke fail to achieve at this current state of time.

Think about it.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 030407

Originally posted by kindaichi24:
I live at jurong..but she live at simei..but i really like her alot..she did tell my fren tat she like me but is only abit la..but the feeling she gave me is tat i think got chance to be with her..but i just do not have the courage..i keep thinkin abt the bad side..she live so far..and i scare tat will make us less closer?And somemore tis year she o level..i scare if i woo her and wad if cos of me she cannot concentrate and fail her o lvl..hais..wad should i do???Sorry my english not so good and if i sound stupid..


If the farest distance in love is that she doesn't like you; if that's not the case, you are actually much nearer to her than you think.

Cheers

A Day at Vivocity

Went to Vivocity yesterday to catch The Number 23, turned out to be an interesting thriller plot with a few twists throughout the movie.

Finally ate 店小二, after numerous recommendation from dear.



Had a good laugh at two hyper active hamsters fighting over the running wheel.



And the worst of all: FAKE BRICKS SPOTTED! OMFG! China-made pirated toy called Popobe or something, x 'Mastermind'. Now wtf is 'ROUNG'? And even if the actual spelling is correct, wtf is 'Too round to die?'



Cheers

Aunt Agony 010407

Originally posted by papercut87:
not long ago, i ended a 6mth relationship with this guy. we spent really many happy times together.. we did quarrel, almost broke up once but resolved it in the end.. but overall, the relationship was fairytale like and magical..

but it suddenly came to an abrupt end when he told me that we shd break up cos he felt he didn't know what love was afterall cos he felt that he wasnt ready for a r/s... he also thought that we were too different in terms of character and that it was impossible for us go tgr... when i asked him whether he ever loved me during the whole course of the r/s.. he said.... he didn't know- maybe not.

those words cut deep.

i spent the next few days crying my heart out, lost my appetite totally, first few daes i wld sms him telling him how much i missed his presence... to give our r/s one more try.. that it really, really hurts so bad... but no replies.. so i somehow thought that he had more or less gotten over the breakup and that i sucked.. so i spent the remaining time reflecting on the relationship and talking it out with a few close friends... and now, i've more or less come to terms with the breakup.. picking up the pieces.... diverting my attention to my studies..

his friends sensed smth was wrong also, but they didnt dare to ask him... they came to ask me.. cos we both seemed like a really loving couple in d past.. they said he seemed to be v affected by it (they thought we argued or smth).. dey mentioned that he looked upset, zombified and stoned all the time.. but they din dare to approach him. so i told them that we broke up for good le. dey were stunned. i also asked them to look after him.

after a week or so... which was yday, when both of us were feeling more or less better, he asked me out for dinner and i agreed (my friends are so gonna kill me when they hear this.) we dabaoed dinner and watched the night sky together while eating. must admit i still had feelings for him... okay that nite i was feeling kind of sleepy and then he pulled my head towards his shoulder. with my head on his shoulder, we just sat there, talked crap and whiled the time away. my appetite was still very bad that time.. so he fed me food to get me to eat.. then it felt like the times when we were tgr. he also said there was a possibility that we cld go back together. but not now. maybe he was just trying to make me feel better?

but i dunno. when i got back, the whole dinner thing last nite seemed so surreal. cos its like back to single life again. facing harsh reality. i msged him and asked him whether he still regarded me as his friend after that night, whether he still liked me still. den his replies were "haha... I like you... as a friend :)" and i asked why.. and he said "Hai... We're friends what.. no longer a couple..."

u see, his actions are really confusing... still like him alot...

what shd i do? ah! so confused. guys, what is he thinking?!?! i really need solid advice... :(


No relationship is fairytale-like - it only apparently seemed so and we revel in them in a fairytale-like manner.

In fact, to me, chances are, he is already reconsidering this relationship, days way before he popped the shattering news and announced that he wants out. You can't spawn something out of nothing; surely, there are unseen issues going around without your knowledge that is affecting him subconsciously.

A seemingly smooth going relationship, at times, is not a good absolute measure for a relationship (especially if scant emotional communication and deep conversation is relatively amiss)

He spoke about incompatibility and differences - what exactly are these differences? How difficult are those challenges? Are those challenges/difficulties recognized/understood by you as well?

Uncovering the above questions might resolve much of your conundrum unknowingly. I will explain why below.

There are times in a relationship when people start reviewing their relationship, even if the ride went on pretty smoothly devoid of emergency break. Ironically, their horror came to them as 'far too good of an experience to be true' and they want to retrograde few steps back to decide if it was really true. This is uncannily true for relationship citing incompatibility as a reason to end it, actually having incompatibility belonging to insignificant magnitude that shouldn't induce break up.

Of course compatibility is relative and subjective to individual perception. It becomes a quagmire only if love is not substantial enough to surmount challenges. If Love makes a fool out of human, then the fool has the greatest of courage because a fool knows no danger.

Then came the sweet aftermath; so tender the feeling he exude and empowered strongly in your soul, paradoxically, only to inflict more confusion in your heart.

He works to retain your emotions for him, yet he's not willing to face the challenges of 'incompatibility', as reasoned by him, with you in union. So self absorbed his affection for you as he has removed the source of burden and tacit responsibility he had to shoulder as a boyfriend previously, yet he's reluctant to allow you your needed recovery to take flight to your next phrase of life.

His act of 'goodwill' actually bring calamity to your long term growth if this persisted indefinitely because you will always be emotionally bounded by him.

If you can't handle it, then avoid putting yourself in such predicament.

Cheers

Original Fake (Kaws Companion Prints) Tee

OF new release!

Woohoo... awaits for it's arrival in Surrender. ^_^

Officially Employed

I am gainfully employed.

Thank God!

This time, I gonna aim to be a private banker in the future.

*Look far and wink*

对不起，我们已经尽力了

对不起，我们已经尽力了

P.S: To read Chinese characters, go to View and Encode to Unicode (UTF-8)

Cheers

EmoBoy

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

Sorry; I thought that was fucking funny.

Evermeet, Island of Elves

I know it's sinful, but I just can't help it.

I just spent another 17 bucks on a fantasy book.

Sigh

Cheers

Aunt Agony II 200307

Originally posted by redpixie:
He knows, he found out about a week ago. I wish we could be more than friends but the thing is...I have a boyfriend who loves me very much and he's in love with another girl who doesn't love him. I know i have to faithful to my boyfriend which is not hard at the moment since the guy i'm in love with doesn't love me, but i'm afraid that in the future when he gets over his current love things will be more complicated. We had a chance to become a couple long time ago but he let it slip away. Now i keep thinking what could have been. I try to support my boyfriend and give him as much love as he's given me over the past couple of years but my heart's not 100% in it. Every now and then i start thinking about my friend...How can i get over him?


I am afraid that logic and habitual reason/s won't sustain the relationship for long.

Yes indeed, it's logical to try to coerce yourself to love someone - albeit you don't really love - you called as boyfriend. But seriously, how long do you plan to maintain your relationship in this kind of logical equation that makes absolute sense, but doesn't add value emotionally?

Before I talk about your best friend, let's examine your current relationship.

(i) You spoke about the differences between you and your boyfriend, but do you perceived it as considerable incompatibility?

(ii) And if the answer is yes, then why, despite the incompatibility, do you even allow yourself to be in a relationship with him?

(iii) You mentioned 'years', what appears to be the real reason for sticking with him, if love wasn't the motivation behind the 'seeming harmonious' relationship?

(iv) You mentioned that there was a 'chance' your best friend might be with you instead; was this incident BEFORE or AFTER your current boyfriend made his appearance?

(v) I would like to know details of your relationship; how long you knew your bf before coming together? How did it happened? How long is the relationship? His personality? Your views on him? On this relationship? Your age?

Cheers

Aunt Agony 200307

Originally posted by Kens-:
Its a pity my first post has to be like this.. Recently I tried to jio my ex back..we had been together for 2 yrs but we separated 'temporarily' a few months ago because she was really busy working and studying part time and couldnt commit to the relationship.. i understand that.. and it didnt really affect me badly at that time.

But yesterday she told me over the phone to forget about her coz she claims that we have different thinking and she wants somebody who is more 'mature'. I nv felt so heart-broken in my life.. the working environment must have warped her adolescent mindset..

Its so painful to see someone u love deeply dump u while she seeks better opportunites elsewhere. I look back on all the good times we've had and realising that we'll never experience those again hurts me deeply. We had such a strong relationship.. everytime we had problems we will not let it linger. I seriously cant believe that all of it has to end like this because she changed..

I know i have to move on but i do not know how long it will take for me to recover. Yesterday i just dreamt of her.. Emptiness consume me everytime wen im alone and i cant help but cry utterly when my mind wanders off to an image of her face. Knowing the fact that she wants someone better has also led me to think that i am inferior. She was my only confidant.. and now that she is gone i dunno what to do.. Im so confuse.. i do not wish to harp on this anymore.. Sobs* :(




I see this as a transition - the working world did not warped her mindset; more likely, it served as a catalysis to instil courage for her to leave the relationship. Likely, she already had thoughts of leaving the relationship - though reasoning is around, courage to translate reasoning into action is missing.

Having to spent some time, without your presence, cleared her doubts and gave her the courage to act.

If you desire to constrain a woman inside a 'closed environment', so that you can preserve that 'adolescent mindset' forever, strangely, is that even love in the first? The minute your girlfriend tasted freedom outside, she fled faster than you could say 'please don't go.'

Chances are, she stayed on because of reasons OTHER than Love.

The minute any man and woman abolish freedom and liberty in their relationship, it becomes an effect of insecurity - not love. And this usually have various degree of adverse effect, depending on how intense the implementation is.

You are so affected because she is your ONLY confidant. This over dependency on your mate will likely to affect the process of your relationship and also slow the recovery of your emotional injuries inflicted.

Real love is when he/she have other choices and still choose you... and NOT because he/she have no other choice except you.

Cheers

Ferry Shot

Took a snap shot at the Ferry in Nic's car.




Cheers

Aunt Agony 170307

Originally posted by LoStGuY:
Hi everyone. This is my 1st post here. Hope someone can give me good advice on my situation.
There's this gal who I have known for around 4 yrs. During this period, there were times when I wanted to ask her be my gf but due to reasons I didnt find tell her. Recently, I found out indirectly that she has a bf for about 2 mths. Since then, I feel I have been a fool. I should have tell her I like her. But now...I don't know should I remain as close frens wif her or should I tell her I like her. Her birthday is coming close. Any advice anyone? :(


I used to walk passed this shop, totally awed by this one particular shoe. Talked about it all day and my good friend even bought the shoe in another colour. But because the price is quite steep, I decided to hold on to my purchase (even I had the money to spend. Don't know why, just decided to hold on).

When I have decided to buy, the shoe is gone forever - no more size.

Even till now, I still think fondly of that shoe.

Given the chance, if someone wanted to sell the shoe, would I buy it?

Yes (Provided it's deadstock or the condition is very good).

But meanwhile, have I stop buying shoes?

Not really. In fact after that, I have gotten three other pairs of shoes spread over a period of time.

P.S: People are always interested in things they don't have. Ironically, that doesn't mean they would not settle for something better in the future.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 170307

Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:
How often does your gf didn't respond to your SMS or call?
If she always care to explain who is she with, eg go out with gal friends to shop or drink, after sometime do you feel fishy?



If one has the intention to cheat, he/she will cheat, insofar as to do whatsoever possible to keep it hidden (although with time, everything will be known eventually).

It's not about girls; in fact, it's about the personality of the person. Some people do not feel the need to report their SMS/calls when they out with a group of friends - I used to be like that. Of course if you are not pleased with such behaviour, you have to talk to her about your insecurities.

It's always possible to manage personal space and 'couple's regulation' harmoniously. But if her previous relationship was like that, it would probably take a couple of years’ worth of communication, understanding and compromising before a lasting, viable solution will be in place.

The key is to keep communicating.

Cheers

Aunt Agony IV (Continued from AA III 150307)

Originally posted by l0st-s0ul:

Hey, thanks for ur reply. I always knew u'll be here giving helpful advice. I would have to admit that I dont really understand women. My concerns are if she doesnt give a sign I wont know what to do next.

For example, if she thinks there's a possibility of progression, I would know what to do such as to give ourselves more time so that we really understand each other. It's really sad to know a relationship which has potential just fizzles out because both parties dont relate to each other. I also absolutely understand the need of time to establish a bond, it would be totally pointless in rushing into a relationship and breaking it the next week.

On the other hand, if she thinks there isnt any possiblity of being more than just friends, I would glady and gallantly back off like a gentleman and we'll just remain friends.

Right now it's like quite wierd to ask her out alone cause I think that's more than just being friends and in this case is what we are not. So is this friendship just gonna fizzle out like a can of coke left in the open?

Oh by the way, the metaphor u used "Before you know it, you might have accelerated out of control and lose grip of your situation like a malfunctioning motor bike crashing into a tree." gives me creeps cause I ride a bike and it's really scary. Touch Wood!



The flawed education system here screwed up the minds of Singaporeans (especially people of this generation). Everything is programmed subtly by this system to follow the chain of command/orders and being told what to do. They cannot function without first having a direction to the next step and generally fail badly in areas outside this safe zone.

But does love work this way? Obviously no.

Love never worked in an absolute manner - it's often the grey that it residue.

How would a friendship fizzle into nothingness if there wasn't a problem in the first place? (And we are not talking about the natural degeneration of bonds through time because you only knew her for a short period of time and that isn't really applicable in your situation)

You mentioned about your perception of a 'potential relationship' - have you ever thought of the possibility that although, it may appear as a 'potential relationship' to you, but it may not be so for her?

On whether you should remain as friends or to continue the pursue; analysis your own situation and make your own choice my dear. Because to me, both are equally feasible - it's only a matter of perception and decision. If she doesn't give you the cue to the next move, you strike out and plan your next move.

Only then you will learn through your experience and benefit.

Cheers

Aunt Agony III 150307

Originally posted by l0st-s0ul:
Dear Aunt Agony, Im so lost.

I have met this girl a few weeks ago. We have chatted and smsed and we get along fine. So far, we have gone out on 2 dates. However, after the dates, I find that she seems different from before, she isnt as warm as before. U must be wondering what I did or tried to do during the outing. Seriously, I did nothing extraordinary, neither was it ordinarily boring.

I dont really know what Im so attracted to her about. I wont say she's hot nor a head-turner. But to me she is nice. The worst part is, I dont know what about her is nice. Maybe it's just her.

U must be thinking that this is ridiculous, knowing a girl for only a few weeks it must be infatuation. Well, before u hit the back button of ur browers or prepare to type +1, I too sincerely hope it's just merely infatuation and nothing more.

Recently, I hinted to her if we could be more than just friends. The gist of her reply was to take things naturally, but dont rule out the possibility. And dont take it too hard if we become together or not.

I think females are the most complex species in the universe. If u had asked the question above to a male, it would be simply either yes if I like her or no if I dont like her. Asking a female, would bring about a whole lot of theories and calculations before finally coming up with an relatively ambiguous answer. I have studied cryptoanalysis and understand the algorithm behind DES, AES, MD5, SHA-1, etc. However, the answers females give are sometimes beyond mind boggling. I believe that the strongest, uncrackable algorithm would the female mind.

In my next thread, I'll talk more about the 4 letter word which women absoultely love, while the men dont.

Well, lets not get out of topic. So, Aunt Agony, does this mean it's time for me to move on?


You sure you never do anything? Or is it just that you don't know what you have done that might have causes you the marks in the impression quotient?

Taking things too fast and furious often revealed bad consequences. Before you know it, you might have accelerated out of control and lose grip of your situation like a malfunctioning motor bike crashing into a tree.

Man often lament how they don't understand woman to make an effective chase; I throw the question back at you - do you even understand yourself enough to win over your woman? Employing wrong strategies is enough to kill most chase - you don't have to break the 'woman's code' before you could succeed in the chase (although it's significantly easier).

I have always equated your kind of situation to bad selling. A good salesman doesn't always have to study the module - Consumer Behaviour - before he's certified as an excellent salesman. Selling has several different aspects, from preparation to post mortem. But eventually - what' matter most is your delivery.

Have you encounter cases where the product is excellent, but the delivery/presentation of the salesman simply turns you off and eventually no sale/s is made?

I asked the retailer before and this is what he told me.

'Aiya, one look I know they won't buy one.'

A classic excuse often used by retailer.

Are you like the retailer?

[quote] Originally posted by l0st-s0ul:
...I think females are the most complex species in the universe. If u had asked the question above to a male, it would be simply either yes if I like her or no if I dont like her. Asking a female, would bring about a whole lot of theories and calculations before finally coming up with an relatively ambiguous answer. I have studied cryptoanalysis and understand the algorithm behind DES, AES, MD5, SHA-1, etc. However, the answers females give are sometimes beyond mind boggling. I believe that the strongest, uncrackable algorithm would the female mind.

Does your failure stem from your lack of understanding about woman?

Think about it.

Cheers

Aunt Agony II 150307

Originally posted by James1:
juz ended my half a yr relationship with my gf about a week ago and find it hard to accept the fact that she want to be a faithful christian to her church, want more time to do what she want and also she think i need to be more mature enough.
The day when she decided to break up, I was totally devastated and was demoralized, she told me in front of my face and was shocked till my face almost turned pale, sorry if I was a little "Kua Zhang" is because i want to let you guys understand how I feel, I begging her minute by minute, hour by hour to take me back but she refused. We had lots of quarrel as we hardly give in to one another and as the time goes by, she said, "quarrelling something allow us to understand each other better." so I think it's all right to quarrel so I carried on for months till now.
As I know the moment when I beg her, she felt honor being pleased, I think it's common for all human being.
A few days after the broke up, I was thinking of returning back the stuff which she bought for me such as t-shirt, bags and etc. Do you think it's childish to do that? Because I think it can erase off the pain she gave me....


I think Christianity is merely a red herring; incompatibility is the real stuff.

Quarrels are good only if it's constructive arguments and that there must always be 'cushions' to prevent acrid aftermath and bitterness.

Argue for the sake of arguments very often drains the energy of relationship rapidly.

Hope you do learn something out from this ordeal.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 150307

Originally posted by woohooooo:
I used to have few gfs and I chased them effortlessly. They would accept whatever I asked them whether it was meeting up or chatting on the phone without being reluctant. Things came my way easily then. However now the situation seems to have changed. Nowadays, it's not so easy anymore. It's been 3 years since my last relationship. Perhaps I am no longer young and relationships are more complicated.

Right now there's this girl I would like to chase. She seems lukewarm to my responses though. When I tried to get her number in front of the friends, she keep asking me to get it from someone we know. Yet I heard from my friend she don't mind giving me her number and was smiling afterwards. When I called her, we chatted a while and because she's not at home I told her I wouldn't to disturb her and call her later. She said don't call cos want to bath and sleep. Both of us working so don't know if she's tired?

In the past, when I get "hints" of disinterest, I would give up and not bother witht that girl anymore. I know this is wrong but I'm a person who gives up easily. So what should I do as I have no experience in perseverance?


I think the problem lies in your mindset. Previously, all is easily won. But now, the game of pursue is no longer simple. It seemed that getting the woman you want requires more than just plain chatting on the phone or dinner at classic places.

Ladies do grow up too you know.

And as they grow wiser, they are more resistant to 'tricks' employed by guys that might easily score well with less experienced ladies. Also, they are often so overly exposed to interesting tales of BGR stories from their girl friends that they learned some things from here and there. The more experienced ones are even worst; they anticipated your thoughts even before you date them out.

You craved for instant gratification... instant affection... instant answer... like instant noodles; allow me to encourage you to see the beauty of patience. There are things in life which you got to work for and these things are often worth the effort. And working towards this goal requires time and patience. Like brewing a pot of chicken soup, if you shorten the time to brew it, it probably doesn't taste as good as if you allowed all the time needed to make it an excellent pot of soup.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 140307

Originally posted by Prince Cumming:
If there’s one problem which I’ve been wrestling for the past 4-5 years, it’s this pervasive sense of loneliness and rejection.
Many times when I wake up in the morning or when I’m in the midst of doing something, my mind will be filled with this “What is wrong with me??!!” thoughts… so much so that I’ll sink into a depressive state…

My personal life has been like down in a slump for years… I’ve only a very few friends whom contact me once in a while and apart from that, absolutely no relationships, no connection it seems with anyone

My greatest problem is this increasingly strong feeling that No one is remotely interested in me --- it’s like people hardly ever contact me, from the gals I tried to date to even my current classmates… everybody is just plainly nonchalant towards me.

I’ve tried… from joining classmates for lunch after lectures, studying with them, even taking up a hobby. So now my only form of social interaction comes from “formal activities” like attending classes (and then chatting a little with my classmates in the process). Other than that, during most weekends and holiday, I’ll virtually be without any friends or relationship with anyone… it’s like not a normal nor healthy phenomenon but one that I can do little about....



I agree with Devil about the contacting them part; it never hurt trying to hook people up, date them and organise outing.

One way is to work towards a common interest; people are less likely to reject dates/outing when there is a common interest/subject. I think there's a need for you to find that core interest to pursue because from there, you will inevitable find people of similar mindset/interest and forge great friendship.

I made friends from several sources. Obviously not all of them will turn out to be great friends, but when you scatter your seeds randomly all over the place, surely, a few will develop well, albeit most might just perish.

Let me try to form a logical picture/equation in your mind:

In school, you would probably have your school clique. These are some friends.

If you go to church and is decently active in church activities, you would have your religion clique.

Then when you expand slightly more; if you are involved in dance as CCA, you would have some dance clique.

You get the idea.

The more interest you pursue, the more people you will know from those activities and the higher the chance you will find good friends. If you want to improve/retain your chance of making meaningful friends beyond that of just 'good', you also got to work on your personality so that people will find you comfortable, interesting and most importantly, natural. Then they will include you into their life/group/clique/etc.

P.S: People often want to be around people they feel comfortable with. And to make them comfortable, firstly, they got to accept/like your character first before they will be comfortable with your presence in their life.

Cheers

CDG Flagship Store

I finally went down to Commes Des Garcons flagship store in Bukit Merah View, Blk 113




Yeah!

But unfortunately, they got no 'Play' series tee.

I guessed I got to settle for Club21 or BWS (Bape Workshop)

Cheers

MINT

Went to the Toy Museum. Finally.

And nope, it wasn't FOC. Had to pay a toll fee of 7.50 SGD before we were allowed in.

An old poster of the galaxy.

Old toy robots

Popeye the sailorman

Hopscotch



An overview

A small portion of the entire collection

Cheers

Aunt Agony 130307

Originally posted by love?:
Why? Why can't I just have the things I want for once in my life? Why is it always so ironic? Why is it when I want something, it always run away? Why is it so hard to find someone to love?

Why is it so hard to woo someone when it gets older? I have decided to ask her out purely as friends and she accepted the first date without any hesitation. After the first date, I find her a very nice lady but right now I have asked her out 2 times and both times got those "see how" first reply.

What have I done that have gone wrong? Why all these years my luck with girls are so bad? So many girls yet none stayed. Am I only suitable yo be good friends and not a lover? In the past, it was not like that. I had 3 gfs before and ever since the last one when I decided to settle down I could not find anyone.

I have socially active and I join many activities and talk to many girls yet the most I can go is being friends. I am not ugly nor anti-social yet sometimes I find my friendliness taken for granted. When I care too much, nothing seems to work out. But when I become a bastard, I get what I want. Why is life so ironic?

In work, I always thought I would get a job where I would meet a good boss who saw potential in me. I don't consider myself stupid but yet all I get a job was simply an average paid job with no growth potential. Yet some of my peers who are academically lousier than me get a higher paid job than me. And worst of all I get a boss that is a joker and a job environment that emphasise on papers.

All I want is a simple and happy life but why am I getting the opposite? Is it really so difficult to find love in this materialistic country?



There's deep resentment about your life as you likely not making the right choices/decision to effectively spur changes... or should I say constructive improvements. There is this emotional anguish that is affecting your self worth, questioning and planting doubts of your ability and yourself.

My take is that you don't have to accept such a fate if you don't wish to. You just got to equip yourself with the correct mindset and courage to work towards a positive change.

For Love:

And think not you can, direct the course of love,
For love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course

For Career:

If you dislike an environment that focus on paper qualification, then seek for a company that at least appreciate talents/effort/hard work/etc.

IMHO, the easier of the two evil is definitely your career because you have a choice to change job anytime to avoid the curse of working in a company you detest. There's some degree of control in which you can manipulate, whereas in love, you are probably at the mercy of circumstances (Won't talk about AOS here though).

It's true that as people grow older, they might have more difficulty in seeking potential mates. Not exactly because of their age, but more likely due to their lifestyle. When you are younger, people are put into the school environment and it's easy to mingle around with people of your age and interest. But as we leave school, if your lifestyle doesn't allow you the opportunity to meet ladies, interact and know them, then your 'market share' is probably limited.

Next is about personality (and other factors). I don't know about you, but I do know people who are almost at brink of desperation in seeking mates, unknown to them, they actually emit that sort of desperation aura that turns people off. You mentioned about a first date, but was rejected a second/third one - doesn't it sound weird? Sure, you could give her the benefit of the doubt as she may be actually busy. But if it's a convenient excuse often heard when you requested for a second/third date, you know she's probably just being polite in rejection.

Chances are, that's because the comfort wasn't good enough with you at the conclusion of the first date and thus the reluctance and hesitation for the next one.

During the date, she has subconsciously evaluated you and you didn't pass. What has happened? It depends on how enlightened you are in reviewing your 'performance' for that particular date. Most guys in similar cases never understand why and thus they repeat history over and over again, citing poor luck in love, when in fact, it's actually about themselves.

Dating is not just about the person - it's a lot about yourself.

Dating is not just about the outing - it's about the strategy involved before, during and after the date.

And most importantly, dating is not about BGR relationship - it's about building bonds with people.

Cheers

Twin Head Dragon

Triple kill!

Ownage!

Period

'NBHD Flash Savage Drop' Day

Went out shortly after reading through the Saturday's paper, consumed two rolls of chee chong fun and a hasty cold bath. Planned to meet Nix so that I could hand her my Hard Drive to pass to Jason on my behalf and the stupid me forgot to bring it out last minute.

Wah rao eh! Simi Sai~

I guess I would have to delay my magic training once again (although I have more or less master Jumping Gemini).

Met HQ at Surrender and was surprised to see Destiny too, wearing a black Supreme x Neighbourhood Tee (which I thought it was better in white). Yeah, they were both eager to check out Neighbourhood Flash Savage (narrow cut), which was probably released on that day as well and retailed at $800-/ each. After lunch at FEP, we heeded down to Club21 and HQ ended up purchasing N9 music series tee at about more than $200+ (can't remember the exact amount).

And thus this look (which we forced him to change and take picture).

And of course, I saw my CDG play tee which I wanted, but I can only think of purchasing it AFTER I do get my confirmation for the job at Audemars Piguet (Please???? = )

Fast forwarded: Ended up in TCC after dinner for a chill session (before that we met Nick and Tan Chia at Heeren for ww's purchase of two horror 400% bearbrick). Three fringing` hours to spare before our movie begin - Stomp the Yard. Pretty decent show, although flow/plot of story is typical of a dance inspired movie. Still, it was good enough for me.

Time to tighten belt once again - squandered almost $50-/ today.

Kiks Tyo x Aki Hoshino (Air Jordan)

I think this release only available in Japan. Don't really fancy Air Jordan that much than the collaboration with Tiffany I owned.



Anyway, I got into Audemars Piguet second interview! ^_^

Cheers

Aunt Agony II 060307

Originally posted by sickandtired:
just felt like letting it out.

i was there for her when she was feeling down.
i helped her up everytime she fell.
i gave her all my attention even when others had appointments with me.
i sent her home everyday even though i stayed far away and had less than 3 hours sleep.
i was there to help her financially if she needed it.
i was there to console her everytime she complained and cried that she did something wrong at work.
i always put up with her tantrums and never once told her i wanted to break up.
i always let her know where i was or with whom and wat i was doing.
i always bought her clothes or other accessories but she never wore to let me see :(
even when we did break up once and she wanted to patch back and cried, i was always there for her during the break up and eventually decided to patch back
i never once put up any photos with other gals in any website


but now.. suddenly some guy comes in between us playing the good guy and gives her advise.
now she says she is confused suddenly about our love but she denies being interested in him.
she now just wants to enjoy life with her frenz partying it out
she puts pics of herself n her male colleagues..some of them with arms on her in a website.
she removed our pics together and claims that its nothing.
she never stores my hp no in her hp but stores that of that bastard.
she calls up my female frenz and creates probs and now my female frenz and me dun really tok

i just feel so bored with this relationship. she has a huge character flaw and all her previous 15 relationships didnt work out. her only 2 longest one was 3 month n 6 months. mine lasted 5 yrs with her. i endured all her crapz and complains and everything. now suddenly she says we are not compatible? why then did she wanna patch up after we broke up?i really gave my all and tried my best but now i just feel i have failed. all other gals i know just tell me that i haf done so much for her and they wish that someone would do the same for them. i really dunno where i haf done wrong. i am tired of always suffering and just want to let all this go. but truth is i am afraid. i am afraid to be lonely. afraid that i will not find another person to love or look after. she does things wrong but blames me and i haf to apologise. she brings up the past and when i elaborate about it, it becomes i brought the past up. i feel she will never be happy in life because she always believes i will turn out like her adulterous uncle. she always like to think of negative things. i am so sianz now.. :(

thanks for reading.



Seriously, I would have think twice if I know that my object of affection has a history of fifteen exes because that has blatantly revealed how fleeting her emotions are and how spiritually afflicted her love relationship is.

According to my study, all we need is between two - four serious relationship and we should encounter most of the cosmic lesson represented to us. Anything more than that are usually reiterated lessons. Fifteen exes? That's probably akin to retaining PSLE for ten times.

Her negative nature truly reflects the glooming aspect of her love relationship - emitting and attracting negative influence and people.

It's true that after those 'ordeals' she might have evolved, but seriously, from what you have described, I see none of it.

Your fear and happiness isn't because you have lost her - but because you are afraid to be alone. Probably this is the quality that got connected on higher subconscious level - negativity beget negativity. You have forgotten what's is like to trend forward and fight for a better future, therefore you rather endure the nonsense thrown precariously at you, than to understand the essence of what's better for yourself to make you move on.

It really makes me wonder is that even love in the first place.

You will be surprised that people remained in unfulfilling relationship for all sorts of reasons. And when you question them about love, they are unable to find them. Like clicking on the search option to find a missing file; there are always zero returns, even though the computer appeared to be working.

Many people complained about not getting the returns even after selling their entire soul into the relationship. The ultimate question is WHY are YOU even thinking that hard work equate success in love? I have addressed this before in previous topics - if hard work equal automatic success in relationship, then the most hardworking person would have all the love in the world.

Logically, it doesn't work that way and it will never be.

Therefore you always pick calculated battles that will advance you to the next level in love. You address the root of problem and not do things that merely appease short term. The rotten core will eventually spread its poison to the heart of your relationship and kills it. Merely polishing the exterior doesn't do anything to save it.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 060307

Originally posted by Lovelorn?:
Hey, I just decided to post my problem here but mine isn't as serious as the rest of them out there...

Some background info: I met this girl from my tuition place early last year. I didn't pay much notice to her but she eventually went to search for me over Friendster and I guess that was how it all began. Back then, I didn't think much of it and I treated her as a normal friend. I always offered to help her with her school work like maths & chem through mail, gave her an insight on tertiary education & sometimes advised her on life. It wasn't the love at first sight kind of situation but I gradually grew to like her. I found myself always looking forward to the weekends where I could PM her over Friendster and receive her messages. We even cheered each other on as she was having her O levels and I was having my A's. I guessed during that period of time, chatting with her was something like a release from reality for me and I really enjoyed it a lot.

During the Nov/Dec holidays, we tried to make plans to meet up but we always couldn't find a common day. We eventually went out for the first time in Jan this year. As I went out with her, I realised that the both of us are really alike in so many ways; we are both so blur and thrifty, etc. So I was thinking to myself that it really is a perfect match. We do chat online regularly even before we started "going out" together and I even told her once of my ideal relationship and even ask for her idea on hers as well. I dropped many hints to her while we are chatting online that i liked her but I guessed she didn't get it. How I know she didn't get the hint, you would find out if you carry on reading.

Ok, here comes the problem. On our 3rd outing, which was Valentine's Day, though I went out with her for a while because she had to prepare for a test, I was ready to confess to her. But I guessed I did it quite awkwardly. Because she needed a new bag, I bought her a Crumpler. And I also bought her those flower teddy bears kind. The final touch was a card, with a poem written by me, expressing my feelings for her. Yes, it wasn't sincere of me because I didn't confess to her face to face. But later that night, I SMSed her, asking her whether did she get my true message of the poem. She didn't reply me until the next day. During that short period, I sent her many long messages, telling her not to feel awkward and that she didn't need to accept me now if she is not ready and that we could still be good friends. And I also told her I was willing to wait for her.

When she replied me the very next day, she told me she was speechless the day before and didn't know what to say. She also told me that she isn't ready for a relationship. I respected her decision and decided to keep our status as good friends. She also told me she can't accept the bag as it was too expensive but I told her to use it first because I won't be using it anytime soon (especially when I'm going into NS soon). But 2 weeks before, which was immediately after V day & CNY, when I messaged her good night (I used to do that every night), she stopped replying me. So I decided to maybe take a break last week, which was to not message her at all. Only recently did she start messaging me again, the very first message after that long break was to wish me all the best for my A level results the very next day.

The 1st problem is, do you think she is trying to distance herself from me after I confessed to her? Maybe if she is not ready, I shouldn't rush into things? She is starting her JC life right now so I told her that we shouldn't start now. I told her that I was willing to wait 2 years, after her A levels is all over. But I don't know how to set ourselves as just friends but yet be there for her since it feels as though she doesn't want me close to her. And whenever I ask her out, she always seem to be very busy... So guys, how do maintain that balance of just being friends, and at the same time being more than just a friend? And would she feel uncomfortable with it when I try to get closer to her?

2nd problem: she scored 9 points for her O levels and is on her way to 1 of the top 5 JCs while me, I didn't exactly do well for my A levels. Do you think that maybe she doesn't view me as suitable for her because of my results? She once told me that she wouldn't want to be with someone who is of a lower education status than her. Or am I just feeling too inferior?

And just to let you guys know, other than her being 2 years younger than me, she is a very quiet and soft-spoken girl. She is the kind who needs time to warm up to a person and when she knows that person very well, she can get quite wacky and nudge or whack them jokingly. :) She is also very thrifty, a value that is most commonly associated with my character. And though she calls herself lazy, she is very hardworking when it comes to work. And yes, she has never had a boyfriend before. For me, it is my 2nd time...

So in conclusion, what should I do with her? I don't intend to let her go and at the same time, not be too possessive of her. Most of my questions are up there so do refer to them. All advice & suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks!



I must say the feelings developed because the emotional mind is open and unrestrictive. You are a forward looking guy and that makes you search easier. It's relatively easy to uncover that sort of feelings under the right circumstances, but eventually, the mutual decision of a relationship must apply on both side of the coin.

There must be something desirable or at least comfortable about you that she wouldn't mind going on a date with. Taking initiative to add you on friendster may not suggest anything much, but certainly to accept a private date from someone requires a minimal level of comfort before that could ever happen.

But your developed feelings don't necessarily means it is the same for her. For all you know, she probably only interested in making friends with you. Something is pulling her back, hindering the process of her getting attached to you. And this obstruction is the reason for your rejection.

Perhaps she is still pretty struck in that 'schooling mindset' and the tangible criteria that resolves around her mate and herself is education. Afterall, at the age of 16 with clean record with regards to BGR, she probably has nothing else to worry other than academic results.

Putting it in this way, you can try to revert back to the sort of 'friendship' you previously had with her and stick with that model first. National Service is one huge hurdle in life that is generally malicious to relationship if one cannot seem to benefit from it. In that sense, are you willing to risk it with her?

I guess it's the element of time once again, making fool out of people. Let me double guarantee you that two years is a long period of time and do not assume that things will remain the way they are now. In fact, she might get attached during her JC days, you will never know.

And that's because time change people change.

Cheers

Aunt Agony 040307

Originally posted by Gigs:
hey, what u guys/gals did in order to forget a past relationship?
i've ended my last relationship for a yr+ already.
But dont seems able to let go.. in the sense that...... i cant seems to open myself up to make new frens etc.. not ready to give space to others to start a new relationship at all.. keep comparing any potentials that comes along with my ex... si lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh



The ironic things is that the more you try to coerce yourself to forget, the notion of 'forcing' will inevitable cause you to remember more intensely.

People are unable to release themselves off their past is because they largely prefer to dwell what's in the past than to face what's in the future. It's always a choice for the majority to choose the familiar than to opt for an uncharted territory. (Esp. Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius)

Rather the evil you know than the evil you don't.

And the root of departure is often not understood spiritually. Many often view failure in relationship as reason to degenerate and not reason to evolve. Some refused their cosmic lesson, while others reiterate their future relationship around previous flaws, forming this classic karmic chain that affects relationship after relationship... over and over again. Only a handful is emotionally wise enough to evolve positively, regardless of whether the motivation to evolve is of malign/benign source.

How long does it need for you to understand the theory of moving on? It depends on how fast you understood the concept of moving on. Because moving on is not simply just logical words said by somebody and you are then 'enlightened' to move on.

You must source for the reason within and sell it to yourself. If you do not believe in why you must move on, you will never move an inch.

Cheers

Pedo Bear

Also known as Pedophile Bear

Cock sia. LOL

Cheers