Aunt Agony II 080407

Originally posted by jeraldine!:
Hello, im littlefishtan! (earlier account). I got dumped because....



My bf thinks we are incompatible because im like more academically inclined, physically inclined, musically inclined and artistically inclined than he is.... i feels im trying to outshine him by gaining more knowledge and learning more things.... =(

And also,
Because this was a new year at school, he graduated and hence he wanted me to report mydaily interaction with male friends. So thats what i did, like i told him in detail everyday what i did. Even though i talked about only neutral conversations which classmates would have, he got extremely suspicious abt ppl around me and kept accusing things like

"You like this person right? that person like you right?"

His control tightened. He began to start controlling the way i dressed... like he wanted me to dress horribily when we go out..so no one will look in my direction....

He said he got tired from all 'the problems' (even though they were not really existent as i didnt like anyone else and no one else was interested in me) and hence got tired from facing and fighting all the external threats.

Now just after two weeks of break up, hes dating someone who is in the normal acad stream. =( How? Do you think i still have hope..... I tried to explain all the misudnerstandings but he wont listen....
I dont want to lose him. Hes the very rare type of guy... extremely loyal, decent, helpful, gentlemanly, caring and very filial to his parents......

I need advice badly... should i...
1. Move on
2. Wait for a while, den try again
3. Continue to persuade him to stay

Pls.... advice me on this issue.. Thank you... ='(



You sure all the qualities you have listed in your man is something exclusive only to him and devoid in most other man?

***

Your man is a classic MCP example; brandished with a gnawing inferior complex and expect his woman to be beneath him in all aspects. True enough, typical MCP guys have positive qualities like unwavering loyalty and some 'overly caring' personality (read possessiveness), but they can't comprehend the concept of trust, freedom and power equality.

In fact, as long as certain events are not within their span of control, the suspicion gets into them instantaneously.

It doesn't matter if it was the truth or not - his perceived state of mind is the inexorably truth he so believes in - explaination is merely a red herring. It doesn't matter if your relationship is stable, his wild state of emotions belie fact from friction, listened only to his heart, which has totally been consumed by inferiority complex.

There's no logic in emotions that has been tainted by inferiority; all his actions merely fill in the void that is missing inside his esteem.

How long can you remain in a relationship without trust? If you constantly allow your reasoning of 'he's a very rare type of guy' to misrepresent your stand to remain, then you are probably better off without being with this 'very rare type of guy', because your 'rare guy' brings forth a very 'common disastrous trait' to any relationship.

In that case, 'rare' could he be?

Telling you to DRESS down because he doesn’t want you to attract attention – that’s another typical MCP method of 'ensuring security'. Crap.

If you could find him dating someone else after two weeks of breaking up, I suppose you should also be on your route to find new guys... especially man who could handle woman as his equal and not constantly looking for dumber, lesser woman in all aspects.

His fleeting love also suggested much about the depth of love he has for you.

I think the answer you seek is quite clear.

Cheers