Aunt Agony 140307

Originally posted by Prince Cumming:
If there’s one problem which I’ve been wrestling for the past 4-5 years, it’s this pervasive sense of loneliness and rejection.
Many times when I wake up in the morning or when I’m in the midst of doing something, my mind will be filled with this “What is wrong with me??!!” thoughts… so much so that I’ll sink into a depressive state…

My personal life has been like down in a slump for years… I’ve only a very few friends whom contact me once in a while and apart from that, absolutely no relationships, no connection it seems with anyone

My greatest problem is this increasingly strong feeling that No one is remotely interested in me --- it’s like people hardly ever contact me, from the gals I tried to date to even my current classmates… everybody is just plainly nonchalant towards me.

I’ve tried… from joining classmates for lunch after lectures, studying with them, even taking up a hobby. So now my only form of social interaction comes from “formal activities” like attending classes (and then chatting a little with my classmates in the process). Other than that, during most weekends and holiday, I’ll virtually be without any friends or relationship with anyone… it’s like not a normal nor healthy phenomenon but one that I can do little about....



I agree with Devil about the contacting them part; it never hurt trying to hook people up, date them and organise outing.

One way is to work towards a common interest; people are less likely to reject dates/outing when there is a common interest/subject. I think there's a need for you to find that core interest to pursue because from there, you will inevitable find people of similar mindset/interest and forge great friendship.

I made friends from several sources. Obviously not all of them will turn out to be great friends, but when you scatter your seeds randomly all over the place, surely, a few will develop well, albeit most might just perish.

Let me try to form a logical picture/equation in your mind:

In school, you would probably have your school clique. These are some friends.

If you go to church and is decently active in church activities, you would have your religion clique.

Then when you expand slightly more; if you are involved in dance as CCA, you would have some dance clique.

You get the idea.

The more interest you pursue, the more people you will know from those activities and the higher the chance you will find good friends. If you want to improve/retain your chance of making meaningful friends beyond that of just 'good', you also got to work on your personality so that people will find you comfortable, interesting and most importantly, natural. Then they will include you into their life/group/clique/etc.

P.S: People often want to be around people they feel comfortable with. And to make them comfortable, firstly, they got to accept/like your character first before they will be comfortable with your presence in their life.

Cheers