Aunt Agony 200307

Originally posted by Kens-:
Its a pity my first post has to be like this.. Recently I tried to jio my ex back..we had been together for 2 yrs but we separated 'temporarily' a few months ago because she was really busy working and studying part time and couldnt commit to the relationship.. i understand that.. and it didnt really affect me badly at that time.

But yesterday she told me over the phone to forget about her coz she claims that we have different thinking and she wants somebody who is more 'mature'. I nv felt so heart-broken in my life.. the working environment must have warped her adolescent mindset..

Its so painful to see someone u love deeply dump u while she seeks better opportunites elsewhere. I look back on all the good times we've had and realising that we'll never experience those again hurts me deeply. We had such a strong relationship.. everytime we had problems we will not let it linger. I seriously cant believe that all of it has to end like this because she changed..

I know i have to move on but i do not know how long it will take for me to recover. Yesterday i just dreamt of her.. Emptiness consume me everytime wen im alone and i cant help but cry utterly when my mind wanders off to an image of her face. Knowing the fact that she wants someone better has also led me to think that i am inferior. She was my only confidant.. and now that she is gone i dunno what to do.. Im so confuse.. i do not wish to harp on this anymore.. Sobs* :(




I see this as a transition - the working world did not warped her mindset; more likely, it served as a catalysis to instil courage for her to leave the relationship. Likely, she already had thoughts of leaving the relationship - though reasoning is around, courage to translate reasoning into action is missing.

Having to spent some time, without your presence, cleared her doubts and gave her the courage to act.

If you desire to constrain a woman inside a 'closed environment', so that you can preserve that 'adolescent mindset' forever, strangely, is that even love in the first? The minute your girlfriend tasted freedom outside, she fled faster than you could say 'please don't go.'

Chances are, she stayed on because of reasons OTHER than Love.

The minute any man and woman abolish freedom and liberty in their relationship, it becomes an effect of insecurity - not love. And this usually have various degree of adverse effect, depending on how intense the implementation is.

You are so affected because she is your ONLY confidant. This over dependency on your mate will likely to affect the process of your relationship and also slow the recovery of your emotional injuries inflicted.

Real love is when he/she have other choices and still choose you... and NOT because he/she have no other choice except you.

Cheers