Aunt Agony 130307

Originally posted by love?:
Why? Why can't I just have the things I want for once in my life? Why is it always so ironic? Why is it when I want something, it always run away? Why is it so hard to find someone to love?

Why is it so hard to woo someone when it gets older? I have decided to ask her out purely as friends and she accepted the first date without any hesitation. After the first date, I find her a very nice lady but right now I have asked her out 2 times and both times got those "see how" first reply.

What have I done that have gone wrong? Why all these years my luck with girls are so bad? So many girls yet none stayed. Am I only suitable yo be good friends and not a lover? In the past, it was not like that. I had 3 gfs before and ever since the last one when I decided to settle down I could not find anyone.

I have socially active and I join many activities and talk to many girls yet the most I can go is being friends. I am not ugly nor anti-social yet sometimes I find my friendliness taken for granted. When I care too much, nothing seems to work out. But when I become a bastard, I get what I want. Why is life so ironic?

In work, I always thought I would get a job where I would meet a good boss who saw potential in me. I don't consider myself stupid but yet all I get a job was simply an average paid job with no growth potential. Yet some of my peers who are academically lousier than me get a higher paid job than me. And worst of all I get a boss that is a joker and a job environment that emphasise on papers.

All I want is a simple and happy life but why am I getting the opposite? Is it really so difficult to find love in this materialistic country?



There's deep resentment about your life as you likely not making the right choices/decision to effectively spur changes... or should I say constructive improvements. There is this emotional anguish that is affecting your self worth, questioning and planting doubts of your ability and yourself.

My take is that you don't have to accept such a fate if you don't wish to. You just got to equip yourself with the correct mindset and courage to work towards a positive change.

For Love:

And think not you can, direct the course of love,
For love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course

For Career:

If you dislike an environment that focus on paper qualification, then seek for a company that at least appreciate talents/effort/hard work/etc.

IMHO, the easier of the two evil is definitely your career because you have a choice to change job anytime to avoid the curse of working in a company you detest. There's some degree of control in which you can manipulate, whereas in love, you are probably at the mercy of circumstances (Won't talk about AOS here though).

It's true that as people grow older, they might have more difficulty in seeking potential mates. Not exactly because of their age, but more likely due to their lifestyle. When you are younger, people are put into the school environment and it's easy to mingle around with people of your age and interest. But as we leave school, if your lifestyle doesn't allow you the opportunity to meet ladies, interact and know them, then your 'market share' is probably limited.

Next is about personality (and other factors). I don't know about you, but I do know people who are almost at brink of desperation in seeking mates, unknown to them, they actually emit that sort of desperation aura that turns people off. You mentioned about a first date, but was rejected a second/third one - doesn't it sound weird? Sure, you could give her the benefit of the doubt as she may be actually busy. But if it's a convenient excuse often heard when you requested for a second/third date, you know she's probably just being polite in rejection.

Chances are, that's because the comfort wasn't good enough with you at the conclusion of the first date and thus the reluctance and hesitation for the next one.

During the date, she has subconsciously evaluated you and you didn't pass. What has happened? It depends on how enlightened you are in reviewing your 'performance' for that particular date. Most guys in similar cases never understand why and thus they repeat history over and over again, citing poor luck in love, when in fact, it's actually about themselves.

Dating is not just about the person - it's a lot about yourself.

Dating is not just about the outing - it's about the strategy involved before, during and after the date.

And most importantly, dating is not about BGR relationship - it's about building bonds with people.

Cheers