Originally posted by Simpleheat:
I and my ger have been stead for 6 months.We love each other very much Knowing her ex had taken her first time! My jealously and ego corrupts my mind and I decide to ask her for sex.
It happen in the sat evening,where we went for a stoll in a secluded park. While we were kissing,I suddenly popped the question but she reject bluntly. She said she didn't want! I told her I felt she loved me not enough as she could give her first time to her ex and wouldn't even satisfy my demand.She told me sex shall not use as a guage to measure her love for me and she was not prepared.She told me she agree sex with her ex after 1 yr of courtship while the time for us was not riped.I was infuriated and gave her cold shoulder.Then I decided to leave the park. She immediately follow close behind me. Finally she decided to stop me and pacified me. I could see tears began to roll down from her eyes and her worry face,worried that I will leave her for not giving in to me. She said she may considered it and she began to tremble abit. Although my heart ached for seeing her state. I decided to continued my test of her love for me despite losing the mood for intimate stuff. I then quickly ask demand her on the spot for sex. She was in disarray and I could see her unclear mental state and body language continued to negotiate whether to give in to my demand.We were at that time near a road with many passing-by cars! While I continued demand an answer from her. She finally broke down,closed her eyes and more tears roll down her eyes as she nodded her head repeatly to gesture her submition to my demand! Witnessing from a total 180 degree turn from a no to agree. I was shocked and awakened too. I also realise how much she loves me that she was even willing to submit her body and pride to make me stay beside her!
I realise how inhuman I was. She later informed me she was not comfortable to do it outside and wanted to go to my house to do the intimate stuff! Not going to inform her of my intention,I agreed and brought her back to my home. Just abt to enter house door. I could saw her tense body language ready to submit to me. We made a U-turn and I brought her to void deck where we sat down. I told her I decided not to press her not sex and will not use sex as a gauge to measure her love for me! I told her we will only do it when she was comfortable.I could see she immediately felt relax and broke into a smile and she informed me of her bad sex experience with her ex. I felt sorry for her and decided to make a pact of not having premarital sex. After that I gave her $10 to take a cab home.
After this incident,I realise man can be such bastard which they can abuse their position and their partner's love for them and force them to submit to all kind of their demand.It also let me real life experience the evil tatic depoyed by those bastard which how they forced their partner into giving their first to them and dumped them including my ger ex. I strongly urge all guy who had a wonderful gf who love them so deep,not to play around with their feeling and instead cherish their presence,being faithful.For those who continue thier action ,I believe will suffer retribution
You are playing with fire and turning the flames into a potential conflagration that could have obliterate this relationship beyond your conscious control.
I am safe to say that I understand your situation more than anyone else here, for we have spoken prior before this (although there wasn't any reply back from you).
Your definition of what love is to you is gradually degenerating to your wounded masculine ego and your craving hedonistic self absorbed desire. And if you thought that she must have love you so much that she eventually relented to your sexual request - your grave mistake begin from here.
What happens is that when you requested sex so vulgarly and reduced your level to that of a primitive sentinel with strong animalistic instinct, it tarnished and annihilate the 'you' which she had originally thought she knew. This love that you thought she gave herself to you, is pressured by emotions, which is 24 TIMES stronger than the rational mind.
She gave in not to Love; she gave in to circumstances.
In fact, it will bring stark confusion to her if you accepted her 'decision' and go along with sex.
Then you became a replica of her ex.
Your ego is so severely bruised that you have to assert MCP domination into your relationship. And if you let it evolve longer, your relationship would have been laid with numerous cracks that find difficulty in mending later on. This is a vicious cycle, because of a flawed perception, for her ex 'enjoyed' something which you prized very much, but you are too prudish to understand that sex and love doesn't always necessary come together.
She has already lived out of her past; stop sprinkling salts onto her old wounds.
Cheers
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Aunt Agony II 190306
Originally posted by Nikar:
Hi all,
I really hope someone can share your advice here. It's greatly appreciated. The root of all the problem is my sister.
First of all, my family has 5 members : my dad, mom, myself, my sister and my brother. I'm the eldest(20 years) and my sister(18 years) is second-eldest; my brother is youngest and he's only in Sec. One.
Since we were kids, my sister always has a very very terrible temper and a vicious personality that seems to get worse with age. Her mentality and behavior since she has a kid till now has always been that :
-if you do something nasty to her, she'll pay you back triple or more
-if she's nice to you, then she has a motive behind it(always the case)
-if you do kind things to her, she'll suspect that you plan to back-stab her
-if you tell her that a certain thing is wrong or she should change her mindset/behavior, she'll either pretend she never hear or will scream very very fierecely back at you; she will not accept any kind of feedback
-she has a must-win attitude in every scenario; if you scold her, she'll talk back until she wins the argument; if you eat 5 cookies, she must eat 6 or more cookies than you.
Normally, grown-ups like 18 years old(JC education, somemore) won't pick on little kids and siblings for little nitty-gritty things, but in her case, she has been shouting and verbally abusing my younger brother for no reason.
Here's some real-life examples :
-Whenever my brother dirties up the table after eating and my mom or me wipe it for him, she'll get very angry and uncomfortable and start verbal abuse on him
-Whenever my brother does a little thing to annoy her(un-intentionally) like speaking too loudly over the phone etc., she'll start verbal abuse, scolding him and cursing him non-stop for 10 - 15 mins a lot of times, and the tone is so scary that it's as if she's scolding her worse enemy(or someone who has killed her children)
-Recently, my mom told me to give some pocket-money to my brother since I've started working. I, the one who gives the pocket-money to my brother, have no problem with it. But my sister is very jealous and angry and she keeps verbal-abusing again whenever this subject got brought up.
If she's a small kid and she gets jealous/angry over this matter, fine. But she's going to be an adult soon(18 years old) and going to the university soon! Where can you find a big sister that keeps picking and verbally-abusing someone much younger than her?
-Sometimes, we've chocolates and snacks or ice-cream back home. Whenever my brother unintentionally eat one more chocolate or have 1 more serving of ice-cream than her, she'll get really extreme towards him and the verbal abuse is totally crazy. In addition, she starts to stomp the floor loudly and slams her things around.
-There's also times when, after eating or using the kitchen ultensils to cook her own stuff, she just leaves the ultensils in the kitchen and my mom/me has to remind her to wash it. And she has the cheek to ask my brother to wash his own plates?
-She doesn't know anything about consideration for others. At 11pm or midnight when everyone is sleeping, she still switches on the TV loudly or blast the radios(louder and louder these past weeks)
-Worse still, whenever she's watching TV in the living room and my brother is in the living room too, her left eye seems to be watching the TV and her right eye seems to be keep watch on my brother and finding fault with him.
Once she finds any mere fault, she goes in again and start verbal abuse.
My brother has a very meek, pleasant and those easily-pushover kind of personality. I told him to scold back and fight back, but he keeps saying no.
During her JC days and the A-level exams, whenever she studies and there's things she doesn't know, she throws a big temper again and upset the whole family.
Recently, the problem has got worse. Now that she's working and everyday when she comes home, she'll throw a terrible temper around the house and affect everyone's mood. Did you know that when she's out with her friends and there's only me, my mom, my dad and my brother in the house, everything is so blissful and happy?
The problem has got more serious these few weeks to the extent that we're moving the entire home PC from her room to the living room, so that my and my brother don't have to see her attitude or endure her temper whenever we use the PC(currently in her room).
My father, who used to dote on her a lot(I think more than me), has started to turn against her and sick of her behavior already.
I mean, my, my brother, my mom and dad don't deserve all these.
My dad comes home during 6 - 7 pm every day only to see my sister throwing tempers and abusing her brother?
My mom is at home most of the time, so she's really bearing the brunt of it.
For me, my sister doesn't dare to shout or go against me yet. I've been trying to maintain neutral ties with her, because if I start to scold her everytime she throws those sickening tempers/verbal-abuse my brother, the family would only get more worse-off. I now dread weekends and think that weekdays are better, because my sister stays at home during weekends more. Everything I see her throw those out-of-control tempers or treat my brother like some dog, I feel like grabbing her and throwing her out of the window, whatever it takes to rid her. I've been controlling myself but this may get out of hand one day.
Can someone please help me and analyse the root of the problem and find solutions for me? I've been thinking of beating her with the TV controller(not too lethal) everytime she throws temper/abuse my brother or knocking her against the wall........is this a good idea?
I'm not scared of her calling the police if I beat her, though. She's in the wrong and someone must do something before she gets worse and worse by the minute.
Hiring a counsellor is useless; she's always very sweet and nice to outsiders, but to family members, it's a different story. Even if the counsellor really thinks that she has a problem and advice her, her strong-will will not listen to any feedback which implies that she need to change.
Thanks,
Nikar.
She is the middle child and usually middle child is subjected problems (unless he/she is the only son or daughter in the family, which could negate the effect).
The root of problem lies in her developing years, in her early childhood. It seemed that her aggressive nature to win and gain recognition is a flawed result based on the lack of attention and love during those tender years. You see, you wouldn't know what is going through her inner self and psychological state when she absorbed subconscious message into her mind. She still picked them up and channel negatively into her adolescence and young adult years.
She is expressing what is felt within outwardly and this suppression is raking into an explosion. Her aggressiveness and desire to win is a sign of addressing her sore young past. Your family needs to nurse her with affection and especially with communication.
If she continued her abusing on your younger brother, chances are, when he grows up - he would inculcate a fear and meek attitude towards woman he faced (Affliction in 3rd house/Mercury, weak Mars, Venus and Moon). The powerful sibling complex would create a deep shadow and impact on him.
My advice is to avoid avoidance. These are real time issue that critically needs communication. It seemed that your whole family are tolerating this without a cause - you either one of your parents could initiate a private one to one chat, with an powerful stand that they will not explode and slipped into an argument with her, to avoid triggering the psychological affliction or the self prophesy that she wasn't part of the family or everyone-of-you-minus-her sort of thingy.
A suggested talk would begin with empathy-like opening (works better if she is a Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces): Asking if school is stress, people creating trouble for her outside or feud and issues with anything outside this family. Gradually move on to:
I) Letting her know verbally that they as parents loves her. And that they are concerned over knowing what has causes her temper.
Move gradually. Always talk in a lower tone than she does and when she raises her voice, they lower their voice.
One session can't change much, but at least it open doors to further communication in the future. Break down her resistance and understand that Love is the element to subdue her, not calling the police and sort. You can consider psychologist/counseller as an external party, if she is more comfortable talking outsider.
Cheers
Hi all,
I really hope someone can share your advice here. It's greatly appreciated. The root of all the problem is my sister.
First of all, my family has 5 members : my dad, mom, myself, my sister and my brother. I'm the eldest(20 years) and my sister(18 years) is second-eldest; my brother is youngest and he's only in Sec. One.
Since we were kids, my sister always has a very very terrible temper and a vicious personality that seems to get worse with age. Her mentality and behavior since she has a kid till now has always been that :
-if you do something nasty to her, she'll pay you back triple or more
-if she's nice to you, then she has a motive behind it(always the case)
-if you do kind things to her, she'll suspect that you plan to back-stab her
-if you tell her that a certain thing is wrong or she should change her mindset/behavior, she'll either pretend she never hear or will scream very very fierecely back at you; she will not accept any kind of feedback
-she has a must-win attitude in every scenario; if you scold her, she'll talk back until she wins the argument; if you eat 5 cookies, she must eat 6 or more cookies than you.
Normally, grown-ups like 18 years old(JC education, somemore) won't pick on little kids and siblings for little nitty-gritty things, but in her case, she has been shouting and verbally abusing my younger brother for no reason.
Here's some real-life examples :
-Whenever my brother dirties up the table after eating and my mom or me wipe it for him, she'll get very angry and uncomfortable and start verbal abuse on him
-Whenever my brother does a little thing to annoy her(un-intentionally) like speaking too loudly over the phone etc., she'll start verbal abuse, scolding him and cursing him non-stop for 10 - 15 mins a lot of times, and the tone is so scary that it's as if she's scolding her worse enemy(or someone who has killed her children)
-Recently, my mom told me to give some pocket-money to my brother since I've started working. I, the one who gives the pocket-money to my brother, have no problem with it. But my sister is very jealous and angry and she keeps verbal-abusing again whenever this subject got brought up.
If she's a small kid and she gets jealous/angry over this matter, fine. But she's going to be an adult soon(18 years old) and going to the university soon! Where can you find a big sister that keeps picking and verbally-abusing someone much younger than her?
-Sometimes, we've chocolates and snacks or ice-cream back home. Whenever my brother unintentionally eat one more chocolate or have 1 more serving of ice-cream than her, she'll get really extreme towards him and the verbal abuse is totally crazy. In addition, she starts to stomp the floor loudly and slams her things around.
-There's also times when, after eating or using the kitchen ultensils to cook her own stuff, she just leaves the ultensils in the kitchen and my mom/me has to remind her to wash it. And she has the cheek to ask my brother to wash his own plates?
-She doesn't know anything about consideration for others. At 11pm or midnight when everyone is sleeping, she still switches on the TV loudly or blast the radios(louder and louder these past weeks)
-Worse still, whenever she's watching TV in the living room and my brother is in the living room too, her left eye seems to be watching the TV and her right eye seems to be keep watch on my brother and finding fault with him.
Once she finds any mere fault, she goes in again and start verbal abuse.
My brother has a very meek, pleasant and those easily-pushover kind of personality. I told him to scold back and fight back, but he keeps saying no.
During her JC days and the A-level exams, whenever she studies and there's things she doesn't know, she throws a big temper again and upset the whole family.
Recently, the problem has got worse. Now that she's working and everyday when she comes home, she'll throw a terrible temper around the house and affect everyone's mood. Did you know that when she's out with her friends and there's only me, my mom, my dad and my brother in the house, everything is so blissful and happy?
The problem has got more serious these few weeks to the extent that we're moving the entire home PC from her room to the living room, so that my and my brother don't have to see her attitude or endure her temper whenever we use the PC(currently in her room).
My father, who used to dote on her a lot(I think more than me), has started to turn against her and sick of her behavior already.
I mean, my, my brother, my mom and dad don't deserve all these.
My dad comes home during 6 - 7 pm every day only to see my sister throwing tempers and abusing her brother?
My mom is at home most of the time, so she's really bearing the brunt of it.
For me, my sister doesn't dare to shout or go against me yet. I've been trying to maintain neutral ties with her, because if I start to scold her everytime she throws those sickening tempers/verbal-abuse my brother, the family would only get more worse-off. I now dread weekends and think that weekdays are better, because my sister stays at home during weekends more. Everything I see her throw those out-of-control tempers or treat my brother like some dog, I feel like grabbing her and throwing her out of the window, whatever it takes to rid her. I've been controlling myself but this may get out of hand one day.
Can someone please help me and analyse the root of the problem and find solutions for me? I've been thinking of beating her with the TV controller(not too lethal) everytime she throws temper/abuse my brother or knocking her against the wall........is this a good idea?
I'm not scared of her calling the police if I beat her, though. She's in the wrong and someone must do something before she gets worse and worse by the minute.
Hiring a counsellor is useless; she's always very sweet and nice to outsiders, but to family members, it's a different story. Even if the counsellor really thinks that she has a problem and advice her, her strong-will will not listen to any feedback which implies that she need to change.
Thanks,
Nikar.
She is the middle child and usually middle child is subjected problems (unless he/she is the only son or daughter in the family, which could negate the effect).
The root of problem lies in her developing years, in her early childhood. It seemed that her aggressive nature to win and gain recognition is a flawed result based on the lack of attention and love during those tender years. You see, you wouldn't know what is going through her inner self and psychological state when she absorbed subconscious message into her mind. She still picked them up and channel negatively into her adolescence and young adult years.
She is expressing what is felt within outwardly and this suppression is raking into an explosion. Her aggressiveness and desire to win is a sign of addressing her sore young past. Your family needs to nurse her with affection and especially with communication.
If she continued her abusing on your younger brother, chances are, when he grows up - he would inculcate a fear and meek attitude towards woman he faced (Affliction in 3rd house/Mercury, weak Mars, Venus and Moon). The powerful sibling complex would create a deep shadow and impact on him.
My advice is to avoid avoidance. These are real time issue that critically needs communication. It seemed that your whole family are tolerating this without a cause - you either one of your parents could initiate a private one to one chat, with an powerful stand that they will not explode and slipped into an argument with her, to avoid triggering the psychological affliction or the self prophesy that she wasn't part of the family or everyone-of-you-minus-her sort of thingy.
A suggested talk would begin with empathy-like opening (works better if she is a Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces): Asking if school is stress, people creating trouble for her outside or feud and issues with anything outside this family. Gradually move on to:
I) Letting her know verbally that they as parents loves her. And that they are concerned over knowing what has causes her temper.
Move gradually. Always talk in a lower tone than she does and when she raises her voice, they lower their voice.
One session can't change much, but at least it open doors to further communication in the future. Break down her resistance and understand that Love is the element to subdue her, not calling the police and sort. You can consider psychologist/counseller as an external party, if she is more comfortable talking outsider.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 190306
Originally posted by smallcloud:
haiz.. i lost my wallet (a black coin pouch from the wallet shop) early this morning.. dropped it in a comfort taxi. i've called them to dispatch the lost to all the cab drivers..but evidently THAT driver didn't respond.
either that, the wallet has been picked up by someone else already.
got alot of my cards inside..including my student card (my exam coming soon.)
let alone the money..
haiz.. :cry:
and becoz of the whole incident, had a quarrel with my bf.
same thing. he feels we should reconsider the relationship. :cry: :cry:
so sad.. this coming tuesday we 6 months anniversary le. so near, yet so far.. :cry:
i sorta felt abandoned when he told me to go home. i didn't need him to pacify me.. i juz wanted his presence.
although this time it could be becoz of the way i msged him which he claimed made him feel like he's not the one for me. but i had told him time and time again. leaving him was a thought that has never and will never cross my mind.
so sad.. :cry:
why can't work things out? 2 people sure to have differences. why muz always choose the easy way out? am i really that hard to be with? wat is compatibility?
why is it so hard to keep a relationship going?
sometimes love ain't just enough.. is that so? :cry:
double heartbreak..
i really hope that who ever picked up the wallet, u can hav the money la. not much also. juz return me the cards.. my exams around the corner..i need my student card back.. pls..
Losing the wallet is not the reason; it is the catalysis.
When there are existing underlying problems lurking in your relationship, can we smile and tell ourselves that nothing is wrong, despite knowing that the fabled anniversary is approaching?
Love cannot solve problems; human must initiate problem solving or die by the problem itself. This is the freewill given and promised by Love.
Chances are, your relationship isn't exactly stable in the first place.
Take care?
Cheers
haiz.. i lost my wallet (a black coin pouch from the wallet shop) early this morning.. dropped it in a comfort taxi. i've called them to dispatch the lost to all the cab drivers..but evidently THAT driver didn't respond.
either that, the wallet has been picked up by someone else already.
got alot of my cards inside..including my student card (my exam coming soon.)
let alone the money..
haiz.. :cry:
and becoz of the whole incident, had a quarrel with my bf.
same thing. he feels we should reconsider the relationship. :cry: :cry:
so sad.. this coming tuesday we 6 months anniversary le. so near, yet so far.. :cry:
i sorta felt abandoned when he told me to go home. i didn't need him to pacify me.. i juz wanted his presence.
although this time it could be becoz of the way i msged him which he claimed made him feel like he's not the one for me. but i had told him time and time again. leaving him was a thought that has never and will never cross my mind.
so sad.. :cry:
why can't work things out? 2 people sure to have differences. why muz always choose the easy way out? am i really that hard to be with? wat is compatibility?
why is it so hard to keep a relationship going?
sometimes love ain't just enough.. is that so? :cry:
double heartbreak..
i really hope that who ever picked up the wallet, u can hav the money la. not much also. juz return me the cards.. my exams around the corner..i need my student card back.. pls..
Losing the wallet is not the reason; it is the catalysis.
When there are existing underlying problems lurking in your relationship, can we smile and tell ourselves that nothing is wrong, despite knowing that the fabled anniversary is approaching?
Love cannot solve problems; human must initiate problem solving or die by the problem itself. This is the freewill given and promised by Love.
Chances are, your relationship isn't exactly stable in the first place.
Take care?
Cheers
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Aunt Agony III 180306
Originally posted by 200plus:
hi peeps. this is my first time posting. anyway i was recommended to come here by my fren. dunno will it help or not. but nvm. enuff of the crap. its a long story btw.
ok theres this guy. i got to noe him around the beginning of this year. i wont say he's good-looking but he is a unique guy. first few weeks past and i dint really pay attention to him. then there was once he wrote me a note to inform me abt something and from then on i was attracted to him. dun ask me y. me myself dunno the reason behind this. then we started to chat often on msn and i felt comfortable tokking to him.
on valentine's eve he spent around 40+ minutes on msn to persuade me to confess to the person tat i like and i did gave in. after finally plucking up the courage, i told him. he replied "i know". anti-climax isnt it?? he said he isnt rejecting neither is he accepting because he needs time. (theres this gal who he still cant get over wif)
but the confusing part is tat, if he needs a break from relationships, according to him, then y did he treat me better day by day? he claimed he knew abt my feelings since day 1. as in, if he needs a break, y wud he even bother to get this close to me? i hope im not thinking too much but i do haf little frens and he's one of the few tat i can relate too.
well, i dunno wat made me do it but 2 days after my confession, i told him im giving up. his reaction was just as normal. i think its either an "ok" or "anything", nothing remarkable. yar so life goes back to normal. we do tok a lot still on msn in a frenly way. btw he's a gal magnet and i dunno y so many gals are telling me hes hot. (cough cough)
then last friday he smsed "wanna meet tmr? i return u ur thumbdrive. if u wan we can haf dinner together too". after consulting my frens i decided to go. i dunno whats the point of him asking me out lah, though he said its to thank me for helping him wif things.
so on saturday i turned up. we had dinner at billy bombers. u noe the guy-pull-out-chair-for-gal thing? ya he did tat and he poured drinks for me. but dinner tat time i was either too nervous or out of my mind. i kept screwing things up. i touch fork, fork drop. i touch knife, knife drop. i couldnt even cut wif my knife to tat extent tat he had to cut the food for me. worse still, i embarrassed myself my speaking wif a mouth full of food. then suddenly he stared at me intently, i thot wat, then he passed me a piece of tissue and say "theres food stain on ur mouth" -_-'''
ok i noe i gave myself away too much at the dinner. ya then after dinner he suggested watching movie. there wasnt much nice shows and most ticks were selling fast. he's nice enuff to offer to watch final destination 3 wif me though he had watched it once already. in the end i told him not to waste money so we went for a stroll around the neighbourhood.
we found a pretty peaceful place and sat down. he commented tat the stars were nice. after tat he sang songs and showed me some dance steps. ya basically for the whole nite we sat there enjoying the tranquility of the place and he sang a majority of jay chou songs. suddenly he said he wud like to hear me sing. of course im shy and stuff so i told him i wud sing the next time. then for dunno wat lah, he commented "there may not be a next time coz u noe im going into army..."
i felt disappointed but of course i dint show it. after tat he gave me the round thing from his keychain. he say wat, he's giving it to me as a ring. maybe he's just trying to be lame, i dunnoe. he did mention tat he can stay until very late but maybe i need to go home le. so around midnite i seriously think tat my mum was boiling wif rage so i said i gotta go. he walked me home. when i reached home i realised im still holding on to the 'ring' of the keychain. i smsed "u forgot to take ur 'ring' back". he says "u keep it, i dun need it anyway"...
ya tat was wat the story is abt. but the problem is tat, who am i to him? maybe he did treat me like a fren and its normal to go out wif a fren. ya. i really hope im not thinking too much or else i wud haf been wasting so much of my time fretting upon this! btw im indeed a stupid gal. on tat day itself he said "i've got free tickets to ice age2, u wan or not?". instead of replying a yes, i exclaimed "hey where u get the free ticks?!"... ya tat was completely anti-climax. so now i dunno whether its set or he merely mentioned it in a no-big-deal way. i could haf gotten the chance to go out wif him again if i told him i wan the ticks. haiix. so how now?? and he's leaving for army in april. but is he even interested in me?? or shud i ask him abt the ice age thing to get myself a 2nd chance??
This is a carefully crafted seduction and you make an excellent victim for his spell weaving. You, having small social circle, worsen things.
It seemed to me that he is planning for his future; he probably thought that army will reduce his chance of interaction with ladies, or means difficulty in managing any BGR and he would probably have to lay his cards well enough for people whom he thought as potentials to remain emotionally connected with him despite the vast passage of time.
He is so confident, that you will fall for him as he urged you to express yourself to the one you like. The minute when you hopelessly tells him about your inner feelings, it acknowledge the fact that his seductive model works just right. Once it happens, all he need to do is to 'upkeep' you periodically so that the spell will be kept in check.
He displayed dramatic vibes into your mind, through his interaction with you and there are meticulous attentions spent on you. The fine prints, the details are all taken into accounts.
And there... time was ticking. In fact, he revealed that time wasn't advantageous to him when in fact, ironically, if he is a shrewd player, he would have understand that this means a better terrain to maneuver.
In the Greek Mythology: Narcissus is a beautiful hero. His beauty is so great that all who saw him, falls in love with him. But he will look at none of them. Even the fairest of nymph, Echo, didn't move him.
We must understand that there are people whom may not be looking for Love and a serious relationship like yourself. These people seek companionship and people to adore and worship them like Narcissus. He is so ingenious because you are always insinuated through by the scenario he has created and if you have noticed by now, he has mention none of his own betrayed feelings that says anything about loving or liking you.
If you are looking for a committed relationship, my take is to widen your social circle and explore new territories. There isn't any strict bond stating that you must devote your time and soul to him alone.
Cheers
hi peeps. this is my first time posting. anyway i was recommended to come here by my fren. dunno will it help or not. but nvm. enuff of the crap. its a long story btw.
ok theres this guy. i got to noe him around the beginning of this year. i wont say he's good-looking but he is a unique guy. first few weeks past and i dint really pay attention to him. then there was once he wrote me a note to inform me abt something and from then on i was attracted to him. dun ask me y. me myself dunno the reason behind this. then we started to chat often on msn and i felt comfortable tokking to him.
on valentine's eve he spent around 40+ minutes on msn to persuade me to confess to the person tat i like and i did gave in. after finally plucking up the courage, i told him. he replied "i know". anti-climax isnt it?? he said he isnt rejecting neither is he accepting because he needs time. (theres this gal who he still cant get over wif)
but the confusing part is tat, if he needs a break from relationships, according to him, then y did he treat me better day by day? he claimed he knew abt my feelings since day 1. as in, if he needs a break, y wud he even bother to get this close to me? i hope im not thinking too much but i do haf little frens and he's one of the few tat i can relate too.
well, i dunno wat made me do it but 2 days after my confession, i told him im giving up. his reaction was just as normal. i think its either an "ok" or "anything", nothing remarkable. yar so life goes back to normal. we do tok a lot still on msn in a frenly way. btw he's a gal magnet and i dunno y so many gals are telling me hes hot. (cough cough)
then last friday he smsed "wanna meet tmr? i return u ur thumbdrive. if u wan we can haf dinner together too". after consulting my frens i decided to go. i dunno whats the point of him asking me out lah, though he said its to thank me for helping him wif things.
so on saturday i turned up. we had dinner at billy bombers. u noe the guy-pull-out-chair-for-gal thing? ya he did tat and he poured drinks for me. but dinner tat time i was either too nervous or out of my mind. i kept screwing things up. i touch fork, fork drop. i touch knife, knife drop. i couldnt even cut wif my knife to tat extent tat he had to cut the food for me. worse still, i embarrassed myself my speaking wif a mouth full of food. then suddenly he stared at me intently, i thot wat, then he passed me a piece of tissue and say "theres food stain on ur mouth" -_-'''
ok i noe i gave myself away too much at the dinner. ya then after dinner he suggested watching movie. there wasnt much nice shows and most ticks were selling fast. he's nice enuff to offer to watch final destination 3 wif me though he had watched it once already. in the end i told him not to waste money so we went for a stroll around the neighbourhood.
we found a pretty peaceful place and sat down. he commented tat the stars were nice. after tat he sang songs and showed me some dance steps. ya basically for the whole nite we sat there enjoying the tranquility of the place and he sang a majority of jay chou songs. suddenly he said he wud like to hear me sing. of course im shy and stuff so i told him i wud sing the next time. then for dunno wat lah, he commented "there may not be a next time coz u noe im going into army..."
i felt disappointed but of course i dint show it. after tat he gave me the round thing from his keychain. he say wat, he's giving it to me as a ring. maybe he's just trying to be lame, i dunnoe. he did mention tat he can stay until very late but maybe i need to go home le. so around midnite i seriously think tat my mum was boiling wif rage so i said i gotta go. he walked me home. when i reached home i realised im still holding on to the 'ring' of the keychain. i smsed "u forgot to take ur 'ring' back". he says "u keep it, i dun need it anyway"...
ya tat was wat the story is abt. but the problem is tat, who am i to him? maybe he did treat me like a fren and its normal to go out wif a fren. ya. i really hope im not thinking too much or else i wud haf been wasting so much of my time fretting upon this! btw im indeed a stupid gal. on tat day itself he said "i've got free tickets to ice age2, u wan or not?". instead of replying a yes, i exclaimed "hey where u get the free ticks?!"... ya tat was completely anti-climax. so now i dunno whether its set or he merely mentioned it in a no-big-deal way. i could haf gotten the chance to go out wif him again if i told him i wan the ticks. haiix. so how now?? and he's leaving for army in april. but is he even interested in me?? or shud i ask him abt the ice age thing to get myself a 2nd chance??
This is a carefully crafted seduction and you make an excellent victim for his spell weaving. You, having small social circle, worsen things.
It seemed to me that he is planning for his future; he probably thought that army will reduce his chance of interaction with ladies, or means difficulty in managing any BGR and he would probably have to lay his cards well enough for people whom he thought as potentials to remain emotionally connected with him despite the vast passage of time.
He is so confident, that you will fall for him as he urged you to express yourself to the one you like. The minute when you hopelessly tells him about your inner feelings, it acknowledge the fact that his seductive model works just right. Once it happens, all he need to do is to 'upkeep' you periodically so that the spell will be kept in check.
He displayed dramatic vibes into your mind, through his interaction with you and there are meticulous attentions spent on you. The fine prints, the details are all taken into accounts.
And there... time was ticking. In fact, he revealed that time wasn't advantageous to him when in fact, ironically, if he is a shrewd player, he would have understand that this means a better terrain to maneuver.
In the Greek Mythology: Narcissus is a beautiful hero. His beauty is so great that all who saw him, falls in love with him. But he will look at none of them. Even the fairest of nymph, Echo, didn't move him.
We must understand that there are people whom may not be looking for Love and a serious relationship like yourself. These people seek companionship and people to adore and worship them like Narcissus. He is so ingenious because you are always insinuated through by the scenario he has created and if you have noticed by now, he has mention none of his own betrayed feelings that says anything about loving or liking you.
If you are looking for a committed relationship, my take is to widen your social circle and explore new territories. There isn't any strict bond stating that you must devote your time and soul to him alone.
Cheers
Aunt Agony II 180306
Originally posted by LOST19877:
My bf, I don't really have any feelings for him. Infact, we started out because he kept breaking down infront of me. He kept crying and crying and crying. My friends and I all know that he can't live without me. He kept coming back no matter how many times I rejected him. He even knows where I stay. I accepted him partly because I really didn't have the heart to reject him anymore and since he knew where I stay, he might hurt my family, afterall I meant everything to him, without me he is just a zombie. Besides, if he really hurt my family, calling the police won't do any good as the damage is already done.
However, he treats me really really really really well. He gives in to me everytime. He buys me everything I wants, brings me everywhere I want to go. He doesn't even dare hug or kiss me, he just holds my hand lightly. I can't bear to see him hurt. He's a really good guy except that he needs me. I am like part of him life. Everything he does, he does for me.
I really don't see the problem, but yet there's a problem...
There seemed to be an overwhelming mote of self pitiness in him: your wrongly placed empathy will guarantee much suffering for him and yourself as the relationship began on a wrong foot. Emotions are oozing all over the place, spilling unsaturated agony as he has yet to attain emotional maturity. A relationship with such people is usually karmic because you bring on lessons to them.
Somehow, you thought of your acceptance of Love as a form of panacea for his life. In fact, based on what you have written about him, he is likely in need of emotional and spiritual evolution or crudely put: get a life, as having a relationship would not restore any of these afflictions.
To make matter worst, you have thought and his perceive in a way which you feel that you must be his answer to his suffering. Why, do you seriously think that, you are doing him a great favour?
The truth is that you are destroying him every minute.
This relationship is like him taking illicit drugs. You feed him with bleak hope that one day he could win you over, unknowingly, he will never succeed. This abominable desire grows with strength each new day and he will attempt to give everything that you wish because in his vision, this is only way you could allow him the 'drugs'... by allowing him to remain in this relationship with you.
Sympathy? Your sympathy blends in nicely with his self pity. So fitting that it revealed a blatant karmic pattern. When you retreated physically or when he 'thought' that you retreated emotionally, it is as if you are denying drugs for his addiction.
He cries.
He regressed back to his early childhood... back to how he react with difficulty he faces when he was a young boy.
Very ill or passive maternal influence.
***
Don't think about him; think about yourself. If this is not what you want, don't play angel to people whom you know will be intensely involved with you. You will sprout extremism in these people and leave burning scars that will be impossible to eradicate in the future.
Love is not about his inability of living without you - it is about the inability to live without each other.
Cheers
My bf, I don't really have any feelings for him. Infact, we started out because he kept breaking down infront of me. He kept crying and crying and crying. My friends and I all know that he can't live without me. He kept coming back no matter how many times I rejected him. He even knows where I stay. I accepted him partly because I really didn't have the heart to reject him anymore and since he knew where I stay, he might hurt my family, afterall I meant everything to him, without me he is just a zombie. Besides, if he really hurt my family, calling the police won't do any good as the damage is already done.
However, he treats me really really really really well. He gives in to me everytime. He buys me everything I wants, brings me everywhere I want to go. He doesn't even dare hug or kiss me, he just holds my hand lightly. I can't bear to see him hurt. He's a really good guy except that he needs me. I am like part of him life. Everything he does, he does for me.
I really don't see the problem, but yet there's a problem...
There seemed to be an overwhelming mote of self pitiness in him: your wrongly placed empathy will guarantee much suffering for him and yourself as the relationship began on a wrong foot. Emotions are oozing all over the place, spilling unsaturated agony as he has yet to attain emotional maturity. A relationship with such people is usually karmic because you bring on lessons to them.
Somehow, you thought of your acceptance of Love as a form of panacea for his life. In fact, based on what you have written about him, he is likely in need of emotional and spiritual evolution or crudely put: get a life, as having a relationship would not restore any of these afflictions.
To make matter worst, you have thought and his perceive in a way which you feel that you must be his answer to his suffering. Why, do you seriously think that, you are doing him a great favour?
The truth is that you are destroying him every minute.
This relationship is like him taking illicit drugs. You feed him with bleak hope that one day he could win you over, unknowingly, he will never succeed. This abominable desire grows with strength each new day and he will attempt to give everything that you wish because in his vision, this is only way you could allow him the 'drugs'... by allowing him to remain in this relationship with you.
Sympathy? Your sympathy blends in nicely with his self pity. So fitting that it revealed a blatant karmic pattern. When you retreated physically or when he 'thought' that you retreated emotionally, it is as if you are denying drugs for his addiction.
He cries.
He regressed back to his early childhood... back to how he react with difficulty he faces when he was a young boy.
Very ill or passive maternal influence.
***
Don't think about him; think about yourself. If this is not what you want, don't play angel to people whom you know will be intensely involved with you. You will sprout extremism in these people and leave burning scars that will be impossible to eradicate in the future.
Love is not about his inability of living without you - it is about the inability to live without each other.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 180306 (PM)
Originally posted by Simpleheat:
Hello Yunhaier! I know u r a wise counsellor and strongly need yr advise and counselling.
I know my first gf 6months ago thru friend's outing.I consider love at first sight. She is a simple looking gal with pimples,short,a bit plump and older than me(23yrs old) but she(27 yrs old) is sweet and cute looking too. But what attracts me most is her great personality. I can click with her easily and can crap around.. Thru talking,I know she is kind and a very innocent gal. After weeks of courtship ,we both have liking for each other and she starts to tell me some very personal thing abt her. She told me she is not a virgin which devastated me cos I'm a virgin myself(I used to be a christian but left due to immerse pressure I quit but still I have some important values of christian like being a virgin for yr future wife or husband like that)Some more I'm a guy as a virgin while she is a gal who is non-virgin. I told her I was upset abt the news and she weep for the whole nite. After a nite of thinking ,I thought I had sought out and able to accept her a non-virgin. We go stead and have a wonderful time of 4 months.
The problem arises when my curiousity of her past makes me probed her of her past with her ex. She honestly told me of her having only one-time sex of losing her 1st time to her ex. She indeed bleed on the first time. After hearing of her experience.I start to develop negative thinking and even dream of her and her ex engaging in sex and saw her naked body with her vagina bleeding.
I was in utter distress. I start to ask me back ,can I accept a non-virgin gal as my wife? Worst ,she told me she could not remember how she was coaxed into losing her 1st time to her ex as it was many yrs ago which both of them were young and having puppy love! But to me,how can u forget how u lost the first time,including the reason being coaxed into it? If u r serious abt yr body and r/s,u will definitely remember. I even told her I will not have sex with her as long as both of us r not married but she told me premartial sex is ok as both of us r adult. I felt she is a slut for not serious of her body. I also feel like a stupid fool as a virgin man getting a non-virgin gf in a sure losing business. But during the 6 months until now,she is indeed a wonderful gf,she is caring,not demanding and very considerate to me,catering to suit me! I dare not tell her how I feel now,cos it will definitely hurt her very much.
But the thought of her as non-virgin is haunting me ever since I dream of her sex engagement with her ex. I am seriously going to breakdown. Cos if I cannot get rid of the thought of getting a virgin gf,I will consider break with her as I don't want to waste her time so that she can look for another future partner that can accept her past.I really love her Am I wrong to think that way? Why I so upset over a small piece of flesh(hymen)? Help me....
You are wondering, why would this issue bother you at all when in fact your relationship is running smoothly.
And I am wondering as well, why would you prudishly equate virginity as a price tag measuring YOUR relationship?
If you are apt to place ill perception in such a way that a non-virgin mate would affects you so much, it ricochet doubts back to your relationship with her - you love her because you thought that she is innocent, sweet, cute and all sort of adjective describing someone that is untainted and pure... existing purely because she would fit into your biased frame of what makes a 'good partner'?
Why would you want to DE-VALUE your own relationship, based on a past variable that you cannot control nor manage? You mean a virgin means she would make a better wife... better personality.... better everything?
You live in your own self absorbed reality with your own measuring yardsticks that defines a 'woman' and not understanding a woman and put definition based on what she is made of.
Don't get me wrong; you are definitely entitled the rights of wanting a virgin wife since you are morally upright and righteous about how you perceive sex (and of course you are virgin yourself) - basically a good man. But circumstances is such that you have MADE your choice of being with her and it wasn't the case.
Are you going to reject the goods just because you thought it was 'inferior' goods?
And chances are: she was never 'inferior' - you made it to be and thought it was.
If you are the sort that can't handle truth, forget about knowing. You will lead a more fulfilling and blissful relationship without the knowledge of her past. Don't make use of the excuse of curiosity and probe when you know that you won't be able to take such knowledge with maturity and to your stride.
Please understand that her past sexual experience with her ex is still a relationship afterall. She didn't end up in bed with some stranger on some a high and intoxicated night.
***
Your dream is an image projected based on your emotions. In fact, you mind VERY MUCH because she is not a virgin, thus your afflicted emotions paint a picture through your dream. If you unable to see through this insignificant aspect of a woman and into a larger picture... seriously, you will do each other well if you leave this relationship and pursue what you thought of a wonderful relationship.
Because I tell you, these self-afflicted thoughts will keep flowing back to you as long as you are unable to release those psychological and emotional bondage. you have a great resistance against acceptance.
Yunhaier sees religion as equal under the eyes of Love. You can be involved with Christianity, Buddhism and the what's not - ultimately how you want your relationship to succeed and bring on self actualization is something you have to learn and grow with it every day of your life. (I had ever come across a pastor with a failed marriage as his wife got involved with extra-marital affairs due to dissatisfaction. Yes, he is a man of God and probably knows the Bible inside out, but in the end, he knows nothing about Love. And his wife infidelity is partially due to his prudish/moralistic equation to everything including Love).
When you are in Love, understand Love and not Morals to explain Love. Morals only tell you what is Good and Evil - it doesn't tell you anything about Love
Cheers
Hello Yunhaier! I know u r a wise counsellor and strongly need yr advise and counselling.
I know my first gf 6months ago thru friend's outing.I consider love at first sight. She is a simple looking gal with pimples,short,a bit plump and older than me(23yrs old) but she(27 yrs old) is sweet and cute looking too. But what attracts me most is her great personality. I can click with her easily and can crap around.. Thru talking,I know she is kind and a very innocent gal. After weeks of courtship ,we both have liking for each other and she starts to tell me some very personal thing abt her. She told me she is not a virgin which devastated me cos I'm a virgin myself(I used to be a christian but left due to immerse pressure I quit but still I have some important values of christian like being a virgin for yr future wife or husband like that)Some more I'm a guy as a virgin while she is a gal who is non-virgin. I told her I was upset abt the news and she weep for the whole nite. After a nite of thinking ,I thought I had sought out and able to accept her a non-virgin. We go stead and have a wonderful time of 4 months.
The problem arises when my curiousity of her past makes me probed her of her past with her ex. She honestly told me of her having only one-time sex of losing her 1st time to her ex. She indeed bleed on the first time. After hearing of her experience.I start to develop negative thinking and even dream of her and her ex engaging in sex and saw her naked body with her vagina bleeding.
I was in utter distress. I start to ask me back ,can I accept a non-virgin gal as my wife? Worst ,she told me she could not remember how she was coaxed into losing her 1st time to her ex as it was many yrs ago which both of them were young and having puppy love! But to me,how can u forget how u lost the first time,including the reason being coaxed into it? If u r serious abt yr body and r/s,u will definitely remember. I even told her I will not have sex with her as long as both of us r not married but she told me premartial sex is ok as both of us r adult. I felt she is a slut for not serious of her body. I also feel like a stupid fool as a virgin man getting a non-virgin gf in a sure losing business. But during the 6 months until now,she is indeed a wonderful gf,she is caring,not demanding and very considerate to me,catering to suit me! I dare not tell her how I feel now,cos it will definitely hurt her very much.
But the thought of her as non-virgin is haunting me ever since I dream of her sex engagement with her ex. I am seriously going to breakdown. Cos if I cannot get rid of the thought of getting a virgin gf,I will consider break with her as I don't want to waste her time so that she can look for another future partner that can accept her past.I really love her Am I wrong to think that way? Why I so upset over a small piece of flesh(hymen)? Help me....
You are wondering, why would this issue bother you at all when in fact your relationship is running smoothly.
And I am wondering as well, why would you prudishly equate virginity as a price tag measuring YOUR relationship?
If you are apt to place ill perception in such a way that a non-virgin mate would affects you so much, it ricochet doubts back to your relationship with her - you love her because you thought that she is innocent, sweet, cute and all sort of adjective describing someone that is untainted and pure... existing purely because she would fit into your biased frame of what makes a 'good partner'?
Why would you want to DE-VALUE your own relationship, based on a past variable that you cannot control nor manage? You mean a virgin means she would make a better wife... better personality.... better everything?
You live in your own self absorbed reality with your own measuring yardsticks that defines a 'woman' and not understanding a woman and put definition based on what she is made of.
Don't get me wrong; you are definitely entitled the rights of wanting a virgin wife since you are morally upright and righteous about how you perceive sex (and of course you are virgin yourself) - basically a good man. But circumstances is such that you have MADE your choice of being with her and it wasn't the case.
Are you going to reject the goods just because you thought it was 'inferior' goods?
And chances are: she was never 'inferior' - you made it to be and thought it was.
If you are the sort that can't handle truth, forget about knowing. You will lead a more fulfilling and blissful relationship without the knowledge of her past. Don't make use of the excuse of curiosity and probe when you know that you won't be able to take such knowledge with maturity and to your stride.
Please understand that her past sexual experience with her ex is still a relationship afterall. She didn't end up in bed with some stranger on some a high and intoxicated night.
***
Your dream is an image projected based on your emotions. In fact, you mind VERY MUCH because she is not a virgin, thus your afflicted emotions paint a picture through your dream. If you unable to see through this insignificant aspect of a woman and into a larger picture... seriously, you will do each other well if you leave this relationship and pursue what you thought of a wonderful relationship.
Because I tell you, these self-afflicted thoughts will keep flowing back to you as long as you are unable to release those psychological and emotional bondage. you have a great resistance against acceptance.
Yunhaier sees religion as equal under the eyes of Love. You can be involved with Christianity, Buddhism and the what's not - ultimately how you want your relationship to succeed and bring on self actualization is something you have to learn and grow with it every day of your life. (I had ever come across a pastor with a failed marriage as his wife got involved with extra-marital affairs due to dissatisfaction. Yes, he is a man of God and probably knows the Bible inside out, but in the end, he knows nothing about Love. And his wife infidelity is partially due to his prudish/moralistic equation to everything including Love).
When you are in Love, understand Love and not Morals to explain Love. Morals only tell you what is Good and Evil - it doesn't tell you anything about Love
Cheers
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Aunt Agony 150306
Originally posted by sqully:
I came across an eerily familiar face on the way home yesterday. It is him. Him who did it a few weeks ago. I can still remember how I charged home, showered rigorously, crawled under my blanket, laid on my bed, buried my head into my pillow and cried till I was so exhausted I fell asleep that night. Each time I experience it again, it just gets worse. The burdens of the previous encounters accumulate to bear an increasingly heavier weight on me.
Flashbacks of the traumatic experiences hit me again. Sometimes I could feel my head exploding with these images. There are times the hauntings get so bad that I cry my eyes dry at night n wake up with slighty sore eyes, spending the next day in a daze. Why is Singapore so molesters infested? I hate these freaks. They derive their brief pleasures at the expense of inflicting a long suffering wound on me. Each one came along to stab it deeper as if to prevent it from healing.
It hurts so bad cos as much as I m angry with them, I am also angry with myself. Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? Most of the times, I was so frightened I just froze and blanked out. Cornered to my seat, I didn’t even attempt to flee, much less to confront them. Each time I wanted to confront them, I couldn’t surmount enough courage to. I feared that they would yell “bhb!who wants to molest u?!” or something, yielding yet more humiliation for me. I told very few people about these encounters, and even if I did I wouldn’t reveal everything. I didn’t tell my parents anything at all cos I don’t want them to worry about me, it breaks my heart to give them heartaches. I didn’t really tell my friends cos I think they might not believe me and I don’t know what they would think if I did. And I recall that there was this time I was chilling out with a friend, we were reading some magazine and came across this article about molestation. There was this line “don’t worry people would love to save the damsel in distress, especially since you are pretty” or something and I lamented what if the damsel is not. So I casually mentioned one of my encounters to my friend and said that “I don’t understand why he picked me. It’s not like I m pretty. And I was always in baggy shirts and long jeans.” “Ya lor.” She replied.
Perhaps she didn’t mean anything and it was just a simple reply but it sealed my fate to that of a silent victim and it confirmed my fears that those perverts had picked me cos no one would believe me if I had accused them of doing it. It was all still bearable until I encountered this ‘Romeo turned pervert” guy a few months ago, and my self-esteem plunged to an all-time low. I have been stuck in a state of perpetual misery since. The strong, sunshine girl who everyone used to know is finally tearing up from the inside. Their aunt agony is drowning in her own agony now. Bitterness filled the smiles and laughter I squeezed out of me. I desperately want to get back on my feet. That’s why I m releasing some of the bitterness I feel inside here.
i can still remember one of my first traumatic experience. it happened when i was in sec 3. there was this guy i recognised as one of the regular faces i see on the bus everyday. i started to notice after some time that he always sits ard me and soon after he started to sit beside me. i tot it was no big deal probably just coindeince then one day even when the seat beside me was occupied,he'd sit somewhere near and wait for the person beside me to alight n he would move to me.
at first he didnt do anything so ok. i started to feel like smt warm being pressed against my tights or my stomach but i tot mayb it's a little squeezy or smt it's not uncommon that in buses sometimes u hav the other person's body pressed against u. and i always fell asleep on the damn long journey so when i feel smt and opened my eyes,i always see his hands with his briefcase so i thought i must be thinking too much. it took some time for me to realise that instead of alighting at yio chu kang he now alights at paya lebar. i was puzzled.
and he started to wave goodbye to me after he alighted from the bus i didnt understand why. so there was this time i think was he soon alighting or smt that i finally caught him. i saw his hand pressing aginst my knee and sliding under my sch skirt. i was shocked. upon realising that i hav discovered his act, he pretended to hav his hands in front of his briefcase and alighted quickly. the next day he still got the cheek to sit beside me. but i moved away this time. i'd rather stand for more than an hour. and i never saw him again. looking back at it, i must hav been molested for like at least a month or so. i was real dumb. i was so frustrated with myself and was gorggy when i went to sch for a few days after i dawned upon the fact. till today, he's the pervert that haunts my head most frequently,i can never get rid of him.
It was one hellva experience, however through this experience, it also subconsciously revealed your wrecked self-perception and inferiority complex.
Who says you have to be pretty before anyone would attempt to molest you? In fact, most molestation strikes at ladies whom seemed docile enough not to retaliate. When your womanly instinct tells you that something is wrong... you must not shake it off, thinking that it is only an illusion.
It's your intruder alarm screaming warning into your head.
Do NOT allow this deep rooted infestation to proliferate into your soul and cause permanent scars that would render you disability in all aspects of your life.
I hope you can consider the following three points:
I) You do NOT have to resort to simplify/uglify your physical outlook to prevent molestation from taking place. You only need to deter people from taking advantage of you as you display signs of aggressiveness whenever perverts tries to be funny. When your self esteem is failing (in your case, it is likely to be), usually it will affect your outlook, the way you present to the world and physical appearance.
You are beautiful in your own ways. Let no one tell you otherwise, especially yourself. Do not lose this natural self.
II) Do NOT develop a twisted attitude towards Love and Relationship. Your shadowy past might inflict illusionary mindset of how you perceive man and relationship.
Not all man are perverts. Learn to be objective.
III) Restore yourself. Release the past that held you bondage and understand that things are happening because you are young & is passive to respond. Release yourself also means having to exculpate yourself.
Free from blame... free to move.
I don't know how much damage it has cause you psychologically and emotionally, however, it would be good if you could relate this to people you can trust as it could help you to accelerate healing and resolve your unseen shadow.
Cheers
I came across an eerily familiar face on the way home yesterday. It is him. Him who did it a few weeks ago. I can still remember how I charged home, showered rigorously, crawled under my blanket, laid on my bed, buried my head into my pillow and cried till I was so exhausted I fell asleep that night. Each time I experience it again, it just gets worse. The burdens of the previous encounters accumulate to bear an increasingly heavier weight on me.
Flashbacks of the traumatic experiences hit me again. Sometimes I could feel my head exploding with these images. There are times the hauntings get so bad that I cry my eyes dry at night n wake up with slighty sore eyes, spending the next day in a daze. Why is Singapore so molesters infested? I hate these freaks. They derive their brief pleasures at the expense of inflicting a long suffering wound on me. Each one came along to stab it deeper as if to prevent it from healing.
It hurts so bad cos as much as I m angry with them, I am also angry with myself. Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? Most of the times, I was so frightened I just froze and blanked out. Cornered to my seat, I didn’t even attempt to flee, much less to confront them. Each time I wanted to confront them, I couldn’t surmount enough courage to. I feared that they would yell “bhb!who wants to molest u?!” or something, yielding yet more humiliation for me. I told very few people about these encounters, and even if I did I wouldn’t reveal everything. I didn’t tell my parents anything at all cos I don’t want them to worry about me, it breaks my heart to give them heartaches. I didn’t really tell my friends cos I think they might not believe me and I don’t know what they would think if I did. And I recall that there was this time I was chilling out with a friend, we were reading some magazine and came across this article about molestation. There was this line “don’t worry people would love to save the damsel in distress, especially since you are pretty” or something and I lamented what if the damsel is not. So I casually mentioned one of my encounters to my friend and said that “I don’t understand why he picked me. It’s not like I m pretty. And I was always in baggy shirts and long jeans.” “Ya lor.” She replied.
Perhaps she didn’t mean anything and it was just a simple reply but it sealed my fate to that of a silent victim and it confirmed my fears that those perverts had picked me cos no one would believe me if I had accused them of doing it. It was all still bearable until I encountered this ‘Romeo turned pervert” guy a few months ago, and my self-esteem plunged to an all-time low. I have been stuck in a state of perpetual misery since. The strong, sunshine girl who everyone used to know is finally tearing up from the inside. Their aunt agony is drowning in her own agony now. Bitterness filled the smiles and laughter I squeezed out of me. I desperately want to get back on my feet. That’s why I m releasing some of the bitterness I feel inside here.
i can still remember one of my first traumatic experience. it happened when i was in sec 3. there was this guy i recognised as one of the regular faces i see on the bus everyday. i started to notice after some time that he always sits ard me and soon after he started to sit beside me. i tot it was no big deal probably just coindeince then one day even when the seat beside me was occupied,he'd sit somewhere near and wait for the person beside me to alight n he would move to me.
at first he didnt do anything so ok. i started to feel like smt warm being pressed against my tights or my stomach but i tot mayb it's a little squeezy or smt it's not uncommon that in buses sometimes u hav the other person's body pressed against u. and i always fell asleep on the damn long journey so when i feel smt and opened my eyes,i always see his hands with his briefcase so i thought i must be thinking too much. it took some time for me to realise that instead of alighting at yio chu kang he now alights at paya lebar. i was puzzled.
and he started to wave goodbye to me after he alighted from the bus i didnt understand why. so there was this time i think was he soon alighting or smt that i finally caught him. i saw his hand pressing aginst my knee and sliding under my sch skirt. i was shocked. upon realising that i hav discovered his act, he pretended to hav his hands in front of his briefcase and alighted quickly. the next day he still got the cheek to sit beside me. but i moved away this time. i'd rather stand for more than an hour. and i never saw him again. looking back at it, i must hav been molested for like at least a month or so. i was real dumb. i was so frustrated with myself and was gorggy when i went to sch for a few days after i dawned upon the fact. till today, he's the pervert that haunts my head most frequently,i can never get rid of him.
It was one hellva experience, however through this experience, it also subconsciously revealed your wrecked self-perception and inferiority complex.
Who says you have to be pretty before anyone would attempt to molest you? In fact, most molestation strikes at ladies whom seemed docile enough not to retaliate. When your womanly instinct tells you that something is wrong... you must not shake it off, thinking that it is only an illusion.
It's your intruder alarm screaming warning into your head.
Do NOT allow this deep rooted infestation to proliferate into your soul and cause permanent scars that would render you disability in all aspects of your life.
I hope you can consider the following three points:
I) You do NOT have to resort to simplify/uglify your physical outlook to prevent molestation from taking place. You only need to deter people from taking advantage of you as you display signs of aggressiveness whenever perverts tries to be funny. When your self esteem is failing (in your case, it is likely to be), usually it will affect your outlook, the way you present to the world and physical appearance.
You are beautiful in your own ways. Let no one tell you otherwise, especially yourself. Do not lose this natural self.
II) Do NOT develop a twisted attitude towards Love and Relationship. Your shadowy past might inflict illusionary mindset of how you perceive man and relationship.
Not all man are perverts. Learn to be objective.
III) Restore yourself. Release the past that held you bondage and understand that things are happening because you are young & is passive to respond. Release yourself also means having to exculpate yourself.
Free from blame... free to move.
I don't know how much damage it has cause you psychologically and emotionally, however, it would be good if you could relate this to people you can trust as it could help you to accelerate healing and resolve your unseen shadow.
Cheers
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Aunt Agony Resolution
Was feeling weird yesterday.
Attended a course talk on counselling at ParkMall and heard the life reality of a counselling psychologist.
It was bad... so it would definitely be worst for a counseller.
Still, these harshness didn't repel me (I could even overcome the idealogy that it was one of the lowest paying job in the whole damn world)
What irk me deeply was that I told that I was too young... too young to have anything to do with marital counselling.
*paused for a moment*
I have decided... to remain an online Aunt Agony forever. Screw the counselling life I wanted to pursue (Though it was enlightening to understand the reality of it).
I will complete my book of CloUdiSm!
And must whack this blog to a higher traffic...
And absorb more knowledge and enlightenment...
... to become an impeccable relationship specialist.
(Taken at Phuture)
Cheers
Attended a course talk on counselling at ParkMall and heard the life reality of a counselling psychologist.
It was bad... so it would definitely be worst for a counseller.
Still, these harshness didn't repel me (I could even overcome the idealogy that it was one of the lowest paying job in the whole damn world)
What irk me deeply was that I told that I was too young... too young to have anything to do with marital counselling.
*paused for a moment*
I have decided... to remain an online Aunt Agony forever. Screw the counselling life I wanted to pursue (Though it was enlightening to understand the reality of it).
I will complete my book of CloUdiSm!
And must whack this blog to a higher traffic...
And absorb more knowledge and enlightenment...
... to become an impeccable relationship specialist.
(Taken at Phuture)
Cheers
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Aunt Agony II 110306
Originally posted by FadeToBlack:
Can i ask how many guys actually love a girl whole-heartedly without no lust in mind?
Is it possible for guys actually not to have the slightest lust in mind?
Are all guys horny bastards?
Humans are born sexual. We like to be touched, to be caressed and to be felt by the ones we loved. When we get close to somebody emotionally, everything moves forward - we get intimate physically and spiritually.
Sexual energy flows from each and every one of us and directed outwardly via biological and physical reactions. And if there is any stultifying effort to hinder this flow, the pent-up energy will grow into sexual frustration and affects the emotional structure, which is heavily tied up with our sexual well being.
In astrological, our planet Mars governs our reaction to sex, while Venus is the aesthetic beauty of Love. Some people have vehement sex drive partially because their Mars is strong (or heavily connection with sign of Scorpio), while some others have suppressed sexual state, where they are unable to release this natural flow of energy and somewhat hinders and place an 'advancement ceiling' in any form of relationship. While there could be many reasons for this; I would safely say that it is usually due to our early childhood development that forms the rudimentary attitude towards sex.
Sex is a natural expression of Love and like Love, it can be abused.
When our higher octave planets are not helping and we degenerate to our animal instinct, Love is blinded by our animal instinct, which we understand as Lust.
This is not an exception to man's case; even woman could abuse them.
And this is also another favourite element often projects in a karmic relationship.
Many marriages are concluding because there are unresolved sexual frustration occurring. By restricting or limiting our natural expression, we place limits on our relationship.
Understand as you explore Love and your own sexuality. Don't inhibit or abuse your natural expression as it could damage your psychological attitude sex.
Cheers
Can i ask how many guys actually love a girl whole-heartedly without no lust in mind?
Is it possible for guys actually not to have the slightest lust in mind?
Are all guys horny bastards?
Humans are born sexual. We like to be touched, to be caressed and to be felt by the ones we loved. When we get close to somebody emotionally, everything moves forward - we get intimate physically and spiritually.
Sexual energy flows from each and every one of us and directed outwardly via biological and physical reactions. And if there is any stultifying effort to hinder this flow, the pent-up energy will grow into sexual frustration and affects the emotional structure, which is heavily tied up with our sexual well being.
In astrological, our planet Mars governs our reaction to sex, while Venus is the aesthetic beauty of Love. Some people have vehement sex drive partially because their Mars is strong (or heavily connection with sign of Scorpio), while some others have suppressed sexual state, where they are unable to release this natural flow of energy and somewhat hinders and place an 'advancement ceiling' in any form of relationship. While there could be many reasons for this; I would safely say that it is usually due to our early childhood development that forms the rudimentary attitude towards sex.
Sex is a natural expression of Love and like Love, it can be abused.
When our higher octave planets are not helping and we degenerate to our animal instinct, Love is blinded by our animal instinct, which we understand as Lust.
This is not an exception to man's case; even woman could abuse them.
And this is also another favourite element often projects in a karmic relationship.
Many marriages are concluding because there are unresolved sexual frustration occurring. By restricting or limiting our natural expression, we place limits on our relationship.
Understand as you explore Love and your own sexuality. Don't inhibit or abuse your natural expression as it could damage your psychological attitude sex.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 110306
Originally posted by sitla:
ive become so obsessed with her that i i'm getting afraid of myself. I'm scared i will do something that might hurt her. I always have fears that some other guy will appear or reappear and take her away and i want to see if its real so keep wanting to wait for her at her block or calling her on her hp mobile to see if she's home. i don't want to become a stalker!!! most of the times i mng to stop myself before i make mistakes but i've gone to her block before even though i know it is stupid n wrong....the fear n sorrow sometimes is so great that it affects some of my conversations with her. I try to go out n hang out with my frens bt once i have sum quiet time i start thinking agn. I can't say we are very close but we talk on the phone once a week and on msn. Sometimes she gives me mixed signals about us even though she said before most likely we can only b frens, and i read and think too much into her words n actions. I think we might have a chance but after all that happen i dun wanna move too fast and yet i'm afraid if i dun do anything, i will lose the chance once she starts working. why am i so suspicious???!!!!Think i'm goin mad hhhhheeelppppppp
This is an unhealthy love obsession.
You fear that you might turn out to be a stalker and actually, you are becoming one. The poison is embedded within your soul and if you don't enlighten yourself, you will eventually become one.
This is because every stalker brandish, mentally, with these sort of love obsession, haunting fear and running imagination... like yourself. It will become so deadly that they will gradually fail to see through this insidious transformation they have grown into and is likely to employ bias 'logical' reasoning to back up their erratic behaviour.
Love is so natural that when it actually affects your basis relationship with her (namely friendship), something is quite wrong somewhere. A relationship cannot flourish beyond a friendship if, in the first place, it doesn't even allow a conducive condition where a proper friendship could sustain.
I think you need to resolve yourself, before you could extend your love to someone else.
P.S: Are you a Scorpio?
Cheers
ive become so obsessed with her that i i'm getting afraid of myself. I'm scared i will do something that might hurt her. I always have fears that some other guy will appear or reappear and take her away and i want to see if its real so keep wanting to wait for her at her block or calling her on her hp mobile to see if she's home. i don't want to become a stalker!!! most of the times i mng to stop myself before i make mistakes but i've gone to her block before even though i know it is stupid n wrong....the fear n sorrow sometimes is so great that it affects some of my conversations with her. I try to go out n hang out with my frens bt once i have sum quiet time i start thinking agn. I can't say we are very close but we talk on the phone once a week and on msn. Sometimes she gives me mixed signals about us even though she said before most likely we can only b frens, and i read and think too much into her words n actions. I think we might have a chance but after all that happen i dun wanna move too fast and yet i'm afraid if i dun do anything, i will lose the chance once she starts working. why am i so suspicious???!!!!Think i'm goin mad hhhhheeelppppppp
This is an unhealthy love obsession.
You fear that you might turn out to be a stalker and actually, you are becoming one. The poison is embedded within your soul and if you don't enlighten yourself, you will eventually become one.
This is because every stalker brandish, mentally, with these sort of love obsession, haunting fear and running imagination... like yourself. It will become so deadly that they will gradually fail to see through this insidious transformation they have grown into and is likely to employ bias 'logical' reasoning to back up their erratic behaviour.
Love is so natural that when it actually affects your basis relationship with her (namely friendship), something is quite wrong somewhere. A relationship cannot flourish beyond a friendship if, in the first place, it doesn't even allow a conducive condition where a proper friendship could sustain.
I think you need to resolve yourself, before you could extend your love to someone else.
P.S: Are you a Scorpio?
Cheers
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Aunt Agony is real pissed
我觉得这世界根本就是把我当做‘很好吃’得便当。
有设么事都会向我怒发。。。还觉得我一定不会‘还手’
(I don't believe this, I can't even construct a decent statement in Mandarin, corresponding to this great annoyance within me RIGHT NOW. I am like trying to type and my limited Mandarin vocab cum word recognition just stumble me flat. Aiya.. FORGET writing this post in CHINESE la...zzz).
I am too good.
Too good to people whom I deemed as friends... and lover.
I realise that people just taking me as a trash bag for their obnoxious temper.
As if I am suppose to fumigate those nonsense and have to constantly tell myself not to retaliate and accept those shit.
You see, I can be fucking sharp and wound people with words. I don't have to give in. But somehow, people seemed to have this perception that it is something I am incapable of. As if yunhaier will always hold his tongue whenever scenario like these arises.
And to my fucking disappointment; it's the people around me. To the next higher level of disappointment; it's the people I will always see.
I am too accepting.
Too accepting in having to 看别人的脸色。
It seemed that I have to always cease my agitation and appear like a complete fool as people turn around and throw words that literally bitch slap my face. In which they happily thought that my bark will always be worst than my bite and gladly continued to dwell in their boorish manner. I just want to stop at there and just it. In view of this non-response, to further agitate me, I will encounter some form of fucking jeering or 'Ah hah... thus I am superior...' sort of attitude.
I see Michael being bullied, literally by that fucker, sometimes really pissed me off.
I don't see why is there a need to act like a big fuck when the dude ain't doing you any wrong in the first place.
OMFG. (I am getting even more pissed as my fingers sped through my screwed keyboard).
If only God spare me from these idiosyncrasy, I may actually do something drastic. Sometimes, I think I may actually lead a less-pissed life being a selfish fucker. Because as a selfish fucker, I could do away with less empathy... less tact... less this... less that and I don't have to always consider a win-win solution.
I am going to face this enigma... alone... like before.
I will pray for strength and endurance. Vampires are omnipotent; they can never be brought down.
Like God, Aunt Agony will also get pissed periodically. But unlike God, I can't summon quakes and natural disaster to demonstrate my annoyance.
(WTF? Blogspot is lagging and I can't put up pics? ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!!!!)
FUCK!
有设么事都会向我怒发。。。还觉得我一定不会‘还手’
(I don't believe this, I can't even construct a decent statement in Mandarin, corresponding to this great annoyance within me RIGHT NOW. I am like trying to type and my limited Mandarin vocab cum word recognition just stumble me flat. Aiya.. FORGET writing this post in CHINESE la...zzz).
I am too good.
Too good to people whom I deemed as friends... and lover.
I realise that people just taking me as a trash bag for their obnoxious temper.
As if I am suppose to fumigate those nonsense and have to constantly tell myself not to retaliate and accept those shit.
You see, I can be fucking sharp and wound people with words. I don't have to give in. But somehow, people seemed to have this perception that it is something I am incapable of. As if yunhaier will always hold his tongue whenever scenario like these arises.
And to my fucking disappointment; it's the people around me. To the next higher level of disappointment; it's the people I will always see.
I am too accepting.
Too accepting in having to 看别人的脸色。
It seemed that I have to always cease my agitation and appear like a complete fool as people turn around and throw words that literally bitch slap my face. In which they happily thought that my bark will always be worst than my bite and gladly continued to dwell in their boorish manner. I just want to stop at there and just it. In view of this non-response, to further agitate me, I will encounter some form of fucking jeering or 'Ah hah... thus I am superior...' sort of attitude.
I see Michael being bullied, literally by that fucker, sometimes really pissed me off.
I don't see why is there a need to act like a big fuck when the dude ain't doing you any wrong in the first place.
OMFG. (I am getting even more pissed as my fingers sped through my screwed keyboard).
If only God spare me from these idiosyncrasy, I may actually do something drastic. Sometimes, I think I may actually lead a less-pissed life being a selfish fucker. Because as a selfish fucker, I could do away with less empathy... less tact... less this... less that and I don't have to always consider a win-win solution.
I am going to face this enigma... alone... like before.
I will pray for strength and endurance. Vampires are omnipotent; they can never be brought down.
Like God, Aunt Agony will also get pissed periodically. But unlike God, I can't summon quakes and natural disaster to demonstrate my annoyance.
(WTF? Blogspot is lagging and I can't put up pics? ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!!!!)
FUCK!
The Feminazic RGS Girl (Adapted from http://studentssketchpad.blogspot.com)
I think this is even funnier....
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! *Died laughing*
Cheers
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! *Died laughing*
Cheers
Evil SCGS Girl (Adapted from http://studentssketchpad.blogspot.com)
I shall accentuate the fact that this sketch is damn humourous...
... and of course, not all AC guys would fall for an SC. Hiak!
Cheers
... and of course, not all AC guys would fall for an SC. Hiak!
Cheers
Aunt Agony 050306
Originally posted by Bates:
There is a gal i like her in college time, but she is already occupied that time i was really happy to be friend with her.
After graduate we all didn't see each other for fews month already, she is from malaysia
Recently she come to spore for training, then she look for me, of course i become a happy man again. In these few short day, we are like couple playing with each other without over friendship (i try but she is not allow)
At first i was worry after i hold her hand, hug her, make our relationship become worst if she is not allow. but she "mian qiang" allow but not allow me to kiss her.
We just like couple play with each other, then i tell her actually i like her a lot but she got boyfriend already ( i hav no intention to break her relationship with her bf), BUT wht i can feel is she also quite like me really. But always in my mind is she is always respect her bf..
actually she is not a "sui bian " gal. i feel so down when she back to malaysia already, i try to sms her without some feel of love words but seem she reply me with others things to avoid me to have the feel. Sign...feel so down, the gal i don't like is waiting for me, the gal i like is occupied, i wish to her to listen her voice but i didn't, i dont' know wht i can say to her anymore...
You are attempting to 'win over' her so that there might be a possibility that she might adjure her relationship to be with you.
This desire is so vehement that your body language spells it so powerfully.
Have you ever thought that even if she is single (or succeeded in your undercutting), this relationship would be an LDR?
***
Understand circumstances
Understand compatibility.
And most importantly, understand time.
There are some people we can never accept or be with, because there is a clash of the above three component.
Cheers
There is a gal i like her in college time, but she is already occupied that time i was really happy to be friend with her.
After graduate we all didn't see each other for fews month already, she is from malaysia
Recently she come to spore for training, then she look for me, of course i become a happy man again. In these few short day, we are like couple playing with each other without over friendship (i try but she is not allow)
At first i was worry after i hold her hand, hug her, make our relationship become worst if she is not allow. but she "mian qiang" allow but not allow me to kiss her.
We just like couple play with each other, then i tell her actually i like her a lot but she got boyfriend already ( i hav no intention to break her relationship with her bf), BUT wht i can feel is she also quite like me really. But always in my mind is she is always respect her bf..
actually she is not a "sui bian " gal. i feel so down when she back to malaysia already, i try to sms her without some feel of love words but seem she reply me with others things to avoid me to have the feel. Sign...feel so down, the gal i don't like is waiting for me, the gal i like is occupied, i wish to her to listen her voice but i didn't, i dont' know wht i can say to her anymore...
You are attempting to 'win over' her so that there might be a possibility that she might adjure her relationship to be with you.
This desire is so vehement that your body language spells it so powerfully.
Have you ever thought that even if she is single (or succeeded in your undercutting), this relationship would be an LDR?
***
Understand circumstances
Understand compatibility.
And most importantly, understand time.
There are some people we can never accept or be with, because there is a clash of the above three component.
Cheers
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
My Auntie
Time seemed to be walking slower.
Even my ORD days seemed like mirage in a desert.
I am beginning to dread this whole piece of screwed up organization that runs on tight bureaucracy, devoid of thinking leaders that cares more about covering their asses than their actual job.
If it wasn't because of the other good people, I think I would rather abdicate my position as the king-of-damaged-ISAC-card and be a lesser commoner, if that was possible in the first place.
140 MORE working days! It feels longer as days gets shorter.
Fcuking oxymoron.
All those sublime propaganda that my BMT had instill in me vanished like snow in spring. SAF speaks about 3G (3rd generation) soldiers? My boss don't even know how to operate a handphone and we want to talk about 3G? I think we better settle 1G first bah. And of course, it wouldn't take much effort to conclude that she don't even have one to begin learning with. Yes, I am talking about a DXO, who had served 35 years, and earns comfortable couple of thousands without a mobile.
Me as a scum-clerk already going to burst a gargantuan hole in my Renoma wallet from the monthly vicious phone bills and this 'auntie', being my woman boss, can actually survived all these years without a mobile.
I remembered an old theory in business, where we talk about the category of people who purchase new products... ranging from 'Innovator' (people who readily accept new products/technology) to 'Laggards' (the resistors) . I think 'my auntie' falls under the category of 'com hang'.
BTW, this is not a rant; it's a vociferous protest from my soul. Presently, I still don't believe that the people whom I called bosses, are so fcuking dumb. I was like constantly taught, indirectly, not to think and learn to cover more asses.
More asses... more luck! (VISA advertisement)
I missed the days when I get to mix around with more intelligent people. I am serious. I mean I am full of shit and perpetually acted dumb, but I don't behave like a adamant piece of block-brick-tard fool.
Do you go tell B to convey a message to C when in fact you could tell C yourself? Ok fine, sometimes we actually do such things. How about telling B to tell C so that C can tell D? That's fcuking brainless. Period.
I am like the little girl.
Aiya if you like, then I raise my hands lor...
Cheers
Even my ORD days seemed like mirage in a desert.
I am beginning to dread this whole piece of screwed up organization that runs on tight bureaucracy, devoid of thinking leaders that cares more about covering their asses than their actual job.
If it wasn't because of the other good people, I think I would rather abdicate my position as the king-of-damaged-ISAC-card and be a lesser commoner, if that was possible in the first place.
140 MORE working days! It feels longer as days gets shorter.
Fcuking oxymoron.
All those sublime propaganda that my BMT had instill in me vanished like snow in spring. SAF speaks about 3G (3rd generation) soldiers? My boss don't even know how to operate a handphone and we want to talk about 3G? I think we better settle 1G first bah. And of course, it wouldn't take much effort to conclude that she don't even have one to begin learning with. Yes, I am talking about a DXO, who had served 35 years, and earns comfortable couple of thousands without a mobile.
Me as a scum-clerk already going to burst a gargantuan hole in my Renoma wallet from the monthly vicious phone bills and this 'auntie', being my woman boss, can actually survived all these years without a mobile.
I remembered an old theory in business, where we talk about the category of people who purchase new products... ranging from 'Innovator' (people who readily accept new products/technology) to 'Laggards' (the resistors) . I think 'my auntie' falls under the category of 'com hang'.
BTW, this is not a rant; it's a vociferous protest from my soul. Presently, I still don't believe that the people whom I called bosses, are so fcuking dumb. I was like constantly taught, indirectly, not to think and learn to cover more asses.
More asses... more luck! (VISA advertisement)
I missed the days when I get to mix around with more intelligent people. I am serious. I mean I am full of shit and perpetually acted dumb, but I don't behave like a adamant piece of block-brick-tard fool.
Do you go tell B to convey a message to C when in fact you could tell C yourself? Ok fine, sometimes we actually do such things. How about telling B to tell C so that C can tell D? That's fcuking brainless. Period.
I am like the little girl.
Aiya if you like, then I raise my hands lor...
Cheers
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Aunt Agony 280206
Originally posted by Wulus:
I know a girl for 6 month...
always hang out together, people thought we are an item...She is single so do i...
We always call each other out have fun together, sharing the same thoughts, same hobbies...
There are some hinting and flirting in our conversation but i know very well if i ask her to be my gf the answer is yes...
Just got myself a diploma but getting a low pay job, she is still in poly...
I am not ready...
I willing to wait for her and i dun mind remain single....Just to focus on my career first...
Both are too young...
I love the friendship more than getting into a relationship...
She can't wait...what should i do?
Being thru 1 relationship...One and only that hurt me most
Not wroth being together end up not the one i spend my lifetime with....
You are the guy who thinks too much.
You are constantly fed with thoughts of inadequacy that you will never feel 'enough'.
You will tell yourself, there is still NS, probably after NS first. Then probably comes higher education.. probably after that bah. Then comes work... probably after a while bah. Then comes money... probably abit more bah...
As you aged, you will come to realise that Love is not something that automatically comes to you when you are finally 'prepared'. And what makes you think that the ones that came to you are the ones you are seeking?
It seemed to me you are more fearful of the repercussion of risky relationship at this age, more than anything else.
Don't get me wrong; I don't want you to step into a relationship for the sake of it. Rather, understand that your reason of not accepting and acknowledging this Love is out of fear, not because you thought it was more rational and logical to build a career first.
I have a friend who had your sort of thinking; his first gf came when he was around 32-33.
And then it also failed, despite feeling decently 'enough'.
Some things won't change in Love - your amount of lessons needed for 'graduation'.
When you are enough? Chances are, you will never be.
Cheers
I know a girl for 6 month...
always hang out together, people thought we are an item...She is single so do i...
We always call each other out have fun together, sharing the same thoughts, same hobbies...
There are some hinting and flirting in our conversation but i know very well if i ask her to be my gf the answer is yes...
Just got myself a diploma but getting a low pay job, she is still in poly...
I am not ready...
I willing to wait for her and i dun mind remain single....Just to focus on my career first...
Both are too young...
I love the friendship more than getting into a relationship...
She can't wait...what should i do?
Being thru 1 relationship...One and only that hurt me most
Not wroth being together end up not the one i spend my lifetime with....
You are the guy who thinks too much.
You are constantly fed with thoughts of inadequacy that you will never feel 'enough'.
You will tell yourself, there is still NS, probably after NS first. Then probably comes higher education.. probably after that bah. Then comes work... probably after a while bah. Then comes money... probably abit more bah...
As you aged, you will come to realise that Love is not something that automatically comes to you when you are finally 'prepared'. And what makes you think that the ones that came to you are the ones you are seeking?
It seemed to me you are more fearful of the repercussion of risky relationship at this age, more than anything else.
Don't get me wrong; I don't want you to step into a relationship for the sake of it. Rather, understand that your reason of not accepting and acknowledging this Love is out of fear, not because you thought it was more rational and logical to build a career first.
I have a friend who had your sort of thinking; his first gf came when he was around 32-33.
And then it also failed, despite feeling decently 'enough'.
Some things won't change in Love - your amount of lessons needed for 'graduation'.
When you are enough? Chances are, you will never be.
Cheers
Monday, February 27, 2006
Aunt Agony 270206
Originally posted by Fey Mae:
but what if im talking about a 100 kg type? must look past alot of fats before you see the inner beauty wor.
and usually im very sensitive towards people but of late im starting to doubt myself. a guy i like (no not fat, fairly decent looking, tall, dark atheletic type) asked me out :? (whos fat and unattractive) is it possible he is just feeling bad cos im so obviously nice to him that hes just giving me a treat only. he did not specify his intentions :oops: and im not sure if his oblivious to my feellings and still continue to mislead me or he actually liked me.
Our self perception is almighty. If we reckon and believe that we are somewhat inferior compared to others, when in fact we possess the same human nature and parts, we will always have very poor image of ourselves.
This will affect our attitude and definition towards all form of love relationship, which in turn, affects the so called 'destiny' in love.
I only believe in evolving.
If there is something stultifying your journey to a better self image, do what you must to restore those lost esteem within constructive means.
People who tell you that others must accept you for who you are... do not understand your plight.
YOU must inculcate a robust motivation to create positive changes that would gradually mould your esteem.
You may not realise, but you have ALL the power in YOUR HANDS to deliver and see those changes in yourself.
***
I came across a real story, about this woman 80-90kg, who ended up with this man. Even though the man loved her for who she was, she decide to shed those weight so as to reinforce, through concrete action, that his decision to be with her will NOT be a mistake right from the beginning.
Love mould her... love conjured the frenzy motivation.
She is 45-48 now.
***
Love is about understanding ourselves. Never mind about whether he is interested in you or not. When you understood the essence of what I want to drive across and implement them, you will discover that attraction power doesn't come with physical outlook - it comes with HOW we see ourselves through our own vision. If we are unable to achieve that perception, we work hard to enable us to.
Cheers
but what if im talking about a 100 kg type? must look past alot of fats before you see the inner beauty wor.
and usually im very sensitive towards people but of late im starting to doubt myself. a guy i like (no not fat, fairly decent looking, tall, dark atheletic type) asked me out :? (whos fat and unattractive) is it possible he is just feeling bad cos im so obviously nice to him that hes just giving me a treat only. he did not specify his intentions :oops: and im not sure if his oblivious to my feellings and still continue to mislead me or he actually liked me.
Our self perception is almighty. If we reckon and believe that we are somewhat inferior compared to others, when in fact we possess the same human nature and parts, we will always have very poor image of ourselves.
This will affect our attitude and definition towards all form of love relationship, which in turn, affects the so called 'destiny' in love.
I only believe in evolving.
If there is something stultifying your journey to a better self image, do what you must to restore those lost esteem within constructive means.
People who tell you that others must accept you for who you are... do not understand your plight.
YOU must inculcate a robust motivation to create positive changes that would gradually mould your esteem.
You may not realise, but you have ALL the power in YOUR HANDS to deliver and see those changes in yourself.
***
I came across a real story, about this woman 80-90kg, who ended up with this man. Even though the man loved her for who she was, she decide to shed those weight so as to reinforce, through concrete action, that his decision to be with her will NOT be a mistake right from the beginning.
Love mould her... love conjured the frenzy motivation.
She is 45-48 now.
***
Love is about understanding ourselves. Never mind about whether he is interested in you or not. When you understood the essence of what I want to drive across and implement them, you will discover that attraction power doesn't come with physical outlook - it comes with HOW we see ourselves through our own vision. If we are unable to achieve that perception, we work hard to enable us to.
Cheers
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Aunt Agony II 230206
Originally posted by Agenda:
last time got tis gal lor.. tis I always listen 2 ur sorrows and her nagging all those den go makan wif her or pei her til her friends come.. then she go wif tis other guy :(
NO MORE MR.NICE GUY!!!!!!!
Then after she broke up wif her stead still wan 2 msg me and den duno say wat until I oso no mood reply and den msg me abt 4 times I dulan turn off hp.. LUCKY NV COME FIND ME :twisted: :twisted:
Tis type of gal say wan find nice guy den always go ahead be heartbroken den come crawling bak 2 the 1 that truly love them
So my advice, DON'T BE TOO NICE MAYBE LISTEN 2 THEM ONCE IN A WHILE AND ASK ABOUT THEM!!!
RAWR!!!! :evil: :evil:
Finally got that out, Ok I can move on wif my life liao :D
There is this thing about most guys; they cannot be an emotional companion, save for people they are interested in. Sometimes, because there is a hidden agenda to their action - being 'nice' is but a facade.
If your friends are emotionally down, you mean they must be romantically involved with you to 'compensate' for your 'kindness'? Especially when you Love him/her?
What does Love means to you then? Having a relationship being top of your priority? (Which again reinforced my first paragraph)
Does having a relationship automatically mean Love?
If you want to be there for someone, be there without expecting returns... and not setting your safety net to catch someone and cursed at the effort you took that has no returns.
Listening to someone is volunteering. It is not business.
Cheers
last time got tis gal lor.. tis I always listen 2 ur sorrows and her nagging all those den go makan wif her or pei her til her friends come.. then she go wif tis other guy :(
NO MORE MR.NICE GUY!!!!!!!
Then after she broke up wif her stead still wan 2 msg me and den duno say wat until I oso no mood reply and den msg me abt 4 times I dulan turn off hp.. LUCKY NV COME FIND ME :twisted: :twisted:
Tis type of gal say wan find nice guy den always go ahead be heartbroken den come crawling bak 2 the 1 that truly love them
So my advice, DON'T BE TOO NICE MAYBE LISTEN 2 THEM ONCE IN A WHILE AND ASK ABOUT THEM!!!
RAWR!!!! :evil: :evil:
Finally got that out, Ok I can move on wif my life liao :D
There is this thing about most guys; they cannot be an emotional companion, save for people they are interested in. Sometimes, because there is a hidden agenda to their action - being 'nice' is but a facade.
If your friends are emotionally down, you mean they must be romantically involved with you to 'compensate' for your 'kindness'? Especially when you Love him/her?
What does Love means to you then? Having a relationship being top of your priority? (Which again reinforced my first paragraph)
Does having a relationship automatically mean Love?
If you want to be there for someone, be there without expecting returns... and not setting your safety net to catch someone and cursed at the effort you took that has no returns.
Listening to someone is volunteering. It is not business.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 230206
Originally posted by sadboyboy:
hey guys. who can tolerate your gf cheating and lying to u?? i doubt anyone can tolerate it... my gf is always lying to me. i don't know for what reason. she has been lying to me since we were together. i really cannot take it soon. the word "BREAK" is always flashing on my mind. should i give up on this relationship? or there's something which i can do to help her change her attitude? but i really really love her a lot. i can't bear to give up on her. i really can't. my love for her is really very deep. but the things she did to me really hurts me a lot. it hurts~
When one become constantly untruthful, it creates barrier between the couple.
If Love means having to remain emotionally intimate, lying deny that experience.
If she has to lie about things, it posts a huge question on the integrity of her personality or possible 'double life'.
Cheer
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Aunt Agony 190206
Originally posted by SnowGiant:
I have not slept properly for the past 26 hours, so dont mind me
if I dont remember who is who..
but I do appreciate all the kind responses and the replies you all
have given me.. but you are not in my shoes, you cant feel wat
i am feeling either.
I feel.. lost.. numbed, and sometimes the pain shoots back into
my heart.. or watever is left of it.. and i have been stoning on
my windowstill for hours.. i stoned for.. 7 hours? I have yet eaten
anything.. i dont feel hungry.. nor thirsty.. my mind blanked most
of the time..
i still have the set of painkillers... 50 of them, mixed with 20 synflex..
stolen from my sis.. dunno will die properly if i swallow 70 of them..
will i even die.. ? dunno..
but then again, i tried to tink it positively, no use.. i cant even think
straight.
you guys really tried.. but failed le ba.. i still dun get it..
watever it is.. really, maybe im just not suited to be on earth anyway..
the pain is too great for me to bear... how can any girl be so harsh to
show you mms pics of her and another guy hugging jus like tat..
and added.. "i tink we shld not be together le ba.. we are still
friends.. :)" smiley face at the end...? wtf? break up mus go hug
other guy ah....
I told her i feel like dying.. she said "oh, dont jump off the building ar..
or else next day auntie will wash like siao de.. die also dun give people
trouble la.. ;p"
I was too hurt.. or even stunned to reply.. or rather, how to reply?
am i hurt? i dunno leh.. i dun even feel properly.. or is it hunger?
.... wat in the world... ... no logic... no sense.. im... wrong?
Im still locked in my room, i really mentalily shutting down le..
maybe i shld try to sleep.. for the 18th? 19th? time..
im tired.. im pretty sure.. my face looks crap.. maybe i shld sleep..
You wallop in so much self pity that you could probably drown an entire continent.
In fact, you are not a nice guy - you are an extremist.
You are so self absorbed, listening attentively to your biased POV and twisted theories of Love.
She may be wicked to reply you in that manner, but if you put some thoughts into them, you are 'threatening' her with hints of suicidal thoughts - obviously she would reply in such frivolous ways. What do you expect her to do? Play along with your nonsense?
You may have successful killed yourself and returned back to God; she may be guilty-stricken for about three months, then life is normal for her.
In the end, you achieve nothing as she ultimately find the 'right one' for herself and you DENYING yourself of one.
Nice guy don't talk about death; people who talks about death are extremist. (Afflicted Scorpiotic tendency).
***
In the game of Love, prepare to accept rejections and failures. If you can't accept them, don't get involved.
You are disillusioned.
Because in the first place, she isn't a good product to begin with.
It's like MLM - people holding blind faith and swear allegiance to this seemingly impeccable model that actually reeks of numerous flaws.
Snap out of it - thinking that she is your only one.
Love is about cosmic learning - you got to prepare yourself with all the 'learned lessons' and 'test' before you are ready for your eventual one. If you are going to tell yourself '...good game gentleman...'; you are going to miss out on this somebody, who has MUCH MORE worth, than her, of your Love.
P.S: Since MCsquare has already extended his hands, do pick up the offer if you can't handle it yourself. Almost wanted to say the same thing, but if he can't handle you eventually, I don't think I would attempt.
Cheers
I have not slept properly for the past 26 hours, so dont mind me
if I dont remember who is who..
but I do appreciate all the kind responses and the replies you all
have given me.. but you are not in my shoes, you cant feel wat
i am feeling either.
I feel.. lost.. numbed, and sometimes the pain shoots back into
my heart.. or watever is left of it.. and i have been stoning on
my windowstill for hours.. i stoned for.. 7 hours? I have yet eaten
anything.. i dont feel hungry.. nor thirsty.. my mind blanked most
of the time..
i still have the set of painkillers... 50 of them, mixed with 20 synflex..
stolen from my sis.. dunno will die properly if i swallow 70 of them..
will i even die.. ? dunno..
but then again, i tried to tink it positively, no use.. i cant even think
straight.
you guys really tried.. but failed le ba.. i still dun get it..
watever it is.. really, maybe im just not suited to be on earth anyway..
the pain is too great for me to bear... how can any girl be so harsh to
show you mms pics of her and another guy hugging jus like tat..
and added.. "i tink we shld not be together le ba.. we are still
friends.. :)" smiley face at the end...? wtf? break up mus go hug
other guy ah....
I told her i feel like dying.. she said "oh, dont jump off the building ar..
or else next day auntie will wash like siao de.. die also dun give people
trouble la.. ;p"
I was too hurt.. or even stunned to reply.. or rather, how to reply?
am i hurt? i dunno leh.. i dun even feel properly.. or is it hunger?
.... wat in the world... ... no logic... no sense.. im... wrong?
Im still locked in my room, i really mentalily shutting down le..
maybe i shld try to sleep.. for the 18th? 19th? time..
im tired.. im pretty sure.. my face looks crap.. maybe i shld sleep..
You wallop in so much self pity that you could probably drown an entire continent.
In fact, you are not a nice guy - you are an extremist.
You are so self absorbed, listening attentively to your biased POV and twisted theories of Love.
She may be wicked to reply you in that manner, but if you put some thoughts into them, you are 'threatening' her with hints of suicidal thoughts - obviously she would reply in such frivolous ways. What do you expect her to do? Play along with your nonsense?
You may have successful killed yourself and returned back to God; she may be guilty-stricken for about three months, then life is normal for her.
In the end, you achieve nothing as she ultimately find the 'right one' for herself and you DENYING yourself of one.
Nice guy don't talk about death; people who talks about death are extremist. (Afflicted Scorpiotic tendency).
***
In the game of Love, prepare to accept rejections and failures. If you can't accept them, don't get involved.
You are disillusioned.
Because in the first place, she isn't a good product to begin with.
It's like MLM - people holding blind faith and swear allegiance to this seemingly impeccable model that actually reeks of numerous flaws.
Snap out of it - thinking that she is your only one.
Love is about cosmic learning - you got to prepare yourself with all the 'learned lessons' and 'test' before you are ready for your eventual one. If you are going to tell yourself '...good game gentleman...'; you are going to miss out on this somebody, who has MUCH MORE worth, than her, of your Love.
P.S: Since MCsquare has already extended his hands, do pick up the offer if you can't handle it yourself. Almost wanted to say the same thing, but if he can't handle you eventually, I don't think I would attempt.
Cheers
Saturday, February 18, 2006
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Aunt Agony 180206
Originally posted by SnowGiant:
Yo guys, finally, she is gone.
Over, gone, finished, and left.
she was beautiful, some people hated her for it..
But I had reasons ...
she took a fistful of soul out of my heart
put into a blender, and turn it on full speed..
I want to die..
I read this well written letter, was edited for me.. but I still
appreciate it.. T.T
Its called.. Ode to nice guys.
******************
Ode to the Nice Guys
******************
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 30 SMSes, 12 voicemails on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
For now, I shall take my leave... time for me to commit suicde.. T.T
What makes you think that the 'nice guys' are really nice?
What makes you think that the jerk is complete jerk?
What makes you think that she will understand what 'nice guys' is before an encounter with a jerk?
You will not understand Good until you experience Evil.
***
I always hear nice guys lamenting about not getting the girls they want because they are simply too nice. The question is, nice guys LAMENT about how nice they are without analysizing what's wrong with them.
How nice is nice... before you become foolish?
If a salesman does aggressive sales tactics which coerced you into buying his product and having you regret a minute later, whose fault would it be?
Similarly, if you foolishly allow a woman to manipulate you, whose fault would it be?
If you desire someone who could appreciate the real you, find someone who actually does and NOT someone who doesn't find any interest in your 'brand' and rant how nice you are and wonder why would she go for 'inferior' brand. You could continuously attempt to give generous discount, but ultimately, you will bleed in your accounts
Cheers
Yo guys, finally, she is gone.
Over, gone, finished, and left.
she was beautiful, some people hated her for it..
But I had reasons ...
she took a fistful of soul out of my heart
put into a blender, and turn it on full speed..
I want to die..
I read this well written letter, was edited for me.. but I still
appreciate it.. T.T
Its called.. Ode to nice guys.
******************
Ode to the Nice Guys
******************
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 30 SMSes, 12 voicemails on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
For now, I shall take my leave... time for me to commit suicde.. T.T
What makes you think that the 'nice guys' are really nice?
What makes you think that the jerk is complete jerk?
What makes you think that she will understand what 'nice guys' is before an encounter with a jerk?
You will not understand Good until you experience Evil.
***
I always hear nice guys lamenting about not getting the girls they want because they are simply too nice. The question is, nice guys LAMENT about how nice they are without analysizing what's wrong with them.
How nice is nice... before you become foolish?
If a salesman does aggressive sales tactics which coerced you into buying his product and having you regret a minute later, whose fault would it be?
Similarly, if you foolishly allow a woman to manipulate you, whose fault would it be?
If you desire someone who could appreciate the real you, find someone who actually does and NOT someone who doesn't find any interest in your 'brand' and rant how nice you are and wonder why would she go for 'inferior' brand. You could continuously attempt to give generous discount, but ultimately, you will bleed in your accounts
Cheers
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Aunt Agony II 160206
Originally posted by bravo82:
oh dear..dunno i do wrong or not.. but u see my gf broke up with me some time ago..abt 3 weeks ago. its she who wanted to break up citing several reasons. and i decided to let things go. now almost once every 2-3 days she will call me to chat n sms me. when i tried patching back she said just frenz oni.. so i was like 'ok..just frenz"
then when she find out i haf been widening my social circle..meeting with other gals..guys..ex schmates bla bla.. she gets real upset that i am moving on maybe?
n today on valentine's day she msgs me saying that she watching movie alone...feeling weird tt kind of thing . then now she just came bk ard 2am..n she called n told me what she did etc. then i just kept quiet as i just woke up. she the nask if i got anything to say so i was like "nothing much to say .. last time can just cook up anything to chat with u..but now since tt breakup i haf nothing to say to u" with that she got offended n put down the fone n say wont contact me again. in a way i feel sad coz i dun want her to NOT contact me.. just hate it when she always ask me if i got nothing to say when she calls me up. come on la.. u call me then u end up sking me if i got nothing to say? n i just spoke to u 8 hrs ago!! hw to everytime tok?
so i told her that i cant just go abt calling any fren up n toking to them when she asked me y i never call her bla bla. with this she got offended n put the fone down.
yes i do love her alot.. but seems like we will not be together ever again. well.. i wont accept her even if she wanna come back though i do love her still. so i m trying real hard to move on u know. n here she is always making me confused. just wanna know did i hurt her real bad by saying all those un-wise comments? she is the one who is always wanting to break up in all her relationships n i was the latest. n now this kinda unexpected behaviour from her? i'm confused.. n i tot that i would be the one deeply affected as she has been my only gf..
There are couple of possibilities here, but the root of WHY this is happening... MCsquare made an accurate point regarding her needs to prevent you-from-moving-before-she does, so as to achieve the best of both world result with or without having a relationship.
I have always told my friends '... the best revenge is to move on faster than your ex...'
Which is exactly what is happening to you now.
You know about the negative herd mentality?
If I am not, you shall not be. I shall use an analogy below (Please don't debate with me over this issue because I am seeing this from ONE point of view and using that view as an analogy):
***
Know why the NS defaulter made such huge headline?
Because most have served their national liability and he managed to escape. All the disgruntlement is because he had managed to escape... with a small fine.
All the new heavier punishments are signs to reassure public '...don't worry, we are tightening up... so no one else could escape that easily... Everyone else will be the same...'
Negative herd mentality.
Would it have remove the hell and sacrifice you have gone through IF he was jailed... or even made to serve NS?
I am not saying that what he did was right; in the eyes of law, he wasn't.
And if we think carefully, is he the only one defaulting?
Of course not.
Would these defaulters endanger or risk national security due to under-maning or whatsoever... just because he didn't serve?
Of course not.
In percentage wise, is it a significant amount?
Of course not.
... But we just want him to be the same as us...
***
To move on is a sign of maturity from past lesson. We all have to move on some checkpoint in life because we have lost the reason to remain in them.
CloUdiSm final law of Love states '... Love is not forever...'
If we have several relationships in our life, logically how can all those love be forever?
In the end, we grow up from the 'non-forevers'.
Cheers
oh dear..dunno i do wrong or not.. but u see my gf broke up with me some time ago..abt 3 weeks ago. its she who wanted to break up citing several reasons. and i decided to let things go. now almost once every 2-3 days she will call me to chat n sms me. when i tried patching back she said just frenz oni.. so i was like 'ok..just frenz"
then when she find out i haf been widening my social circle..meeting with other gals..guys..ex schmates bla bla.. she gets real upset that i am moving on maybe?
n today on valentine's day she msgs me saying that she watching movie alone...feeling weird tt kind of thing . then now she just came bk ard 2am..n she called n told me what she did etc. then i just kept quiet as i just woke up. she the nask if i got anything to say so i was like "nothing much to say .. last time can just cook up anything to chat with u..but now since tt breakup i haf nothing to say to u" with that she got offended n put down the fone n say wont contact me again. in a way i feel sad coz i dun want her to NOT contact me.. just hate it when she always ask me if i got nothing to say when she calls me up. come on la.. u call me then u end up sking me if i got nothing to say? n i just spoke to u 8 hrs ago!! hw to everytime tok?
so i told her that i cant just go abt calling any fren up n toking to them when she asked me y i never call her bla bla. with this she got offended n put the fone down.
yes i do love her alot.. but seems like we will not be together ever again. well.. i wont accept her even if she wanna come back though i do love her still. so i m trying real hard to move on u know. n here she is always making me confused. just wanna know did i hurt her real bad by saying all those un-wise comments? she is the one who is always wanting to break up in all her relationships n i was the latest. n now this kinda unexpected behaviour from her? i'm confused.. n i tot that i would be the one deeply affected as she has been my only gf..
There are couple of possibilities here, but the root of WHY this is happening... MCsquare made an accurate point regarding her needs to prevent you-from-moving-before-she does, so as to achieve the best of both world result with or without having a relationship.
I have always told my friends '... the best revenge is to move on faster than your ex...'
Which is exactly what is happening to you now.
You know about the negative herd mentality?
If I am not, you shall not be. I shall use an analogy below (Please don't debate with me over this issue because I am seeing this from ONE point of view and using that view as an analogy):
***
Know why the NS defaulter made such huge headline?
Because most have served their national liability and he managed to escape. All the disgruntlement is because he had managed to escape... with a small fine.
All the new heavier punishments are signs to reassure public '...don't worry, we are tightening up... so no one else could escape that easily... Everyone else will be the same...'
Negative herd mentality.
Would it have remove the hell and sacrifice you have gone through IF he was jailed... or even made to serve NS?
I am not saying that what he did was right; in the eyes of law, he wasn't.
And if we think carefully, is he the only one defaulting?
Of course not.
Would these defaulters endanger or risk national security due to under-maning or whatsoever... just because he didn't serve?
Of course not.
In percentage wise, is it a significant amount?
Of course not.
... But we just want him to be the same as us...
***
To move on is a sign of maturity from past lesson. We all have to move on some checkpoint in life because we have lost the reason to remain in them.
CloUdiSm final law of Love states '... Love is not forever...'
If we have several relationships in our life, logically how can all those love be forever?
In the end, we grow up from the 'non-forevers'.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 160206
Originally posted by zeny:
Have you guys ever encouter the times when you love someone so much until the stage where you almost lost yourself.
On one hand you are scare that if you hold on too much she will run.
On the other hand if you let go too much she will feel unloved.
As a guy you are given the task of balancing out how much should you control the love to be given to the girl you love.
Why must it be this way?
If you let it go then the girl would just walk away...
Is this how love should be ?
Always putting yourself in the line for someone when you just fall once and you are never given a second chance.
Love like you never have to think about losing them.
Why bother to WORRY about losing a relationship when you ought to spend those precious moments appreciating and loving your relationship?
Every moment spent in fear barred fulfilment from entering.
When you have gone beyond retaining and losing BGR - you will see Love in new light.
P.S: You don’t cook like an expert with your first experience; it gets better with every attempt.
Cheers
Have you guys ever encouter the times when you love someone so much until the stage where you almost lost yourself.
On one hand you are scare that if you hold on too much she will run.
On the other hand if you let go too much she will feel unloved.
As a guy you are given the task of balancing out how much should you control the love to be given to the girl you love.
Why must it be this way?
If you let it go then the girl would just walk away...
Is this how love should be ?
Always putting yourself in the line for someone when you just fall once and you are never given a second chance.
Love like you never have to think about losing them.
Why bother to WORRY about losing a relationship when you ought to spend those precious moments appreciating and loving your relationship?
Every moment spent in fear barred fulfilment from entering.
When you have gone beyond retaining and losing BGR - you will see Love in new light.
P.S: You don’t cook like an expert with your first experience; it gets better with every attempt.
Cheers
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Valentine's Day
Actually I don't really fancy vday.
Because it is too commercialised.
Have you seen it?
People doing aggressive selling... all sort of lovely thingy that costs a bomb. (Although money is not an issue to me, but that day has lost much of its original meaning that spending that money makes no emotional sense. It seemed that you must be a willing victim to be [i]tok [/i]by people in order to demonstrate your love and affection).
People worrying about being seen alone.
I seen people, spent hundreds of dollars and more.
Buy this buy that.
In the end, their relationship still fail.
Interestingly, people in this era are willing to splurge the money they probably saved for a long time; ironically, they refuse spent that little effort to work out differences in relationship, which actually goes a MUCH longer way in their relationship than flowers and chocolates.
Maybe like me, money may not be an issue to you.
Similar to you having ten dollars and giving one dollar may seemed nothing.
But like me, is your relationship important to you?
Everyday is a valentine's day when your relationship is strong and passionate.
Everyday HAS to be a valentine's day, if you want your relationship to bloom like flowers in spring.
Guys with girls and girls with flower = norm.
But when you have hundreds and thousands of couple with the same combination, it has become = statistic.
Read today's Newpaper (120206) a Spore's Valentine Story.
I don't know... it touched my Aries Moon.
These people have very little, but they gave all.
Similar to them having forty cents and giving forty cents.
I remember when I was in Church (I am not a Christian, but I was there when I was little), there are people who gave alot for tithing. I see notes after notes.
I was like amazed by the amount they could give.
Someone told me 'Actually, it is because they have alot, so it actually means nothing to them.'
I only have a couple of cents.
And I dropped it in.
'It's only a small amount, but it is all I have...'
They are fighting WITH their relationship... literally.
The day when couples are indulging in hedonistic pleasure, these people are struggling with sheer love and willpower through their daily living.
Is your relationship another statistic... where it is measure by how much you wealth you bleed on vday?
Or is yours like the sick, old couples: measure through conviction, faith and power of love?
Cheers
Because it is too commercialised.
Have you seen it?
People doing aggressive selling... all sort of lovely thingy that costs a bomb. (Although money is not an issue to me, but that day has lost much of its original meaning that spending that money makes no emotional sense. It seemed that you must be a willing victim to be [i]tok [/i]by people in order to demonstrate your love and affection).
People worrying about being seen alone.
I seen people, spent hundreds of dollars and more.
Buy this buy that.
In the end, their relationship still fail.
Interestingly, people in this era are willing to splurge the money they probably saved for a long time; ironically, they refuse spent that little effort to work out differences in relationship, which actually goes a MUCH longer way in their relationship than flowers and chocolates.
Maybe like me, money may not be an issue to you.
Similar to you having ten dollars and giving one dollar may seemed nothing.
But like me, is your relationship important to you?
Everyday is a valentine's day when your relationship is strong and passionate.
Everyday HAS to be a valentine's day, if you want your relationship to bloom like flowers in spring.
Guys with girls and girls with flower = norm.
But when you have hundreds and thousands of couple with the same combination, it has become = statistic.
Read today's Newpaper (120206) a Spore's Valentine Story.
I don't know... it touched my Aries Moon.
These people have very little, but they gave all.
Similar to them having forty cents and giving forty cents.
I remember when I was in Church (I am not a Christian, but I was there when I was little), there are people who gave alot for tithing. I see notes after notes.
I was like amazed by the amount they could give.
Someone told me 'Actually, it is because they have alot, so it actually means nothing to them.'
I only have a couple of cents.
And I dropped it in.
'It's only a small amount, but it is all I have...'
They are fighting WITH their relationship... literally.
The day when couples are indulging in hedonistic pleasure, these people are struggling with sheer love and willpower through their daily living.
Is your relationship another statistic... where it is measure by how much you wealth you bleed on vday?
Or is yours like the sick, old couples: measure through conviction, faith and power of love?
Cheers
Aunt Agony 120206
Originally posted by siongs:
Man~~i m so lost ...i dunno wat i want......well there is 1 gal tat really like me n i dunno i love her or not ! i mean really dunno yea !well we get together alrdy she is really gud n pretty ! n da problem is i dun hav da feel with her ya noe....n i dun wan to hurt her......i accepted her bcoz during tat time i still very confuse tats y i accepted her...i noe i m an asshole but.... i really dunno man !
wat should i do nw ? if i broke up with her ..tiz will hurt her so much !! man~~~i dun wan any gal sad bcoz of me n i definitely dun wan to hurt her.....tel me wat to do !! or i juz keep quiet n continue wih tiz relationship ?......Dizzy man !!
You don't want it, but feel a pity to let it go (Liu zi wu yong, qi shi ke si).
You want the best of both world, you suffer the consequence of leading someone.
You want to make no decision and let it run naturally... you suffer the consequence of leading someone.
You want to remain in a relationship with someone you have no feelings for... you suffer the consequence of leading someone.
Cheers
Man~~i m so lost ...i dunno wat i want......well there is 1 gal tat really like me n i dunno i love her or not ! i mean really dunno yea !well we get together alrdy she is really gud n pretty ! n da problem is i dun hav da feel with her ya noe....n i dun wan to hurt her......i accepted her bcoz during tat time i still very confuse tats y i accepted her...i noe i m an asshole but.... i really dunno man !
wat should i do nw ? if i broke up with her ..tiz will hurt her so much !! man~~~i dun wan any gal sad bcoz of me n i definitely dun wan to hurt her.....tel me wat to do !! or i juz keep quiet n continue wih tiz relationship ?......Dizzy man !!
You don't want it, but feel a pity to let it go (Liu zi wu yong, qi shi ke si).
You want the best of both world, you suffer the consequence of leading someone.
You want to make no decision and let it run naturally... you suffer the consequence of leading someone.
You want to remain in a relationship with someone you have no feelings for... you suffer the consequence of leading someone.
Cheers
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Aunt Agony 110206
Originally posted by dakkon_blackblade:
Can you use astrology to calculate when is the "right condition" and what is the "right effort"???
When I talk about 'right condition', I am referring to yourself - the condition you are in... your current state.
If you know that you are inadequate, would you transform yourself to improve your personal branding?
When I talk about transformation,
I) To seek out the negativity or unloving thingy about yourself and tackle
them.
II) Self discovery and exploit your own strength.
III) Ability to accept rejection, failures or the unknowns and learn from them.
Would you do it? Or rather, would you maintain consistency?
Astrology cannot change what the mind is unable or unwilling to act upon. Even that, without endurance AND some degree of wisdom, there will be an enlightenment ceiling... putting a cap on the furthest you could achieve and understand about Love and relationship.
***
People often lament that Love don't come to them; the fact is that Love only come to people who are in the 'right condition'. You got to build YOURSELF first before you could extend anything outside of you. It doesn't matter how you 'build' yourself because ultimately, Love follows this Law impeccably: [u][b]we attract the qualities we exude[/b][/u]. The KIND of attraction DEPENDS on HOW you transform yourself.
Negative people attract negative lovers/partners.
The list goes on.
Sometimes, love just comes naturally to some... it seemed that they don't have to worry about potentials.
But if you are not those kind of people, you got to work hard on yourself, to set yourself in a 'better condition' before love could appear.
Self discovery is crucial; you need to know the self method that works for you.
People who have no problems in attracting Love doesn't always mean that it is given by the stars; it is because they have discovered what worked for them FASTER than you do.
Everyone has different level of enlightenment. Some people have the ability to absorb and implement love wisdom faster, while some have difficulty in assimilating them in their heart.
Even though I have some decent knowledge of astrology, I merely use astrology as a tool. And even though some people are kinda born with relationship difficulty, divorce aspect, loner tendency, etc, I don't see it as one's destiny. Every difficulty hides a learning lesson - you conquer them, you GAIN the 'treasure' beneath.
Western Astrology believes in freewill.
We can change our fate... if that is what we want.
P.S: yunhaier don't have time to calculate what you desire and my knowledge is not sufficiently decent to say I am accurate about timing. If you are really interested to know, you could seek Zacken99 or OCEANOS. These people knows more than me and could help you. (At a price though).
Cheers
Can you use astrology to calculate when is the "right condition" and what is the "right effort"???
When I talk about 'right condition', I am referring to yourself - the condition you are in... your current state.
If you know that you are inadequate, would you transform yourself to improve your personal branding?
When I talk about transformation,
I) To seek out the negativity or unloving thingy about yourself and tackle
them.
II) Self discovery and exploit your own strength.
III) Ability to accept rejection, failures or the unknowns and learn from them.
Would you do it? Or rather, would you maintain consistency?
Astrology cannot change what the mind is unable or unwilling to act upon. Even that, without endurance AND some degree of wisdom, there will be an enlightenment ceiling... putting a cap on the furthest you could achieve and understand about Love and relationship.
***
People often lament that Love don't come to them; the fact is that Love only come to people who are in the 'right condition'. You got to build YOURSELF first before you could extend anything outside of you. It doesn't matter how you 'build' yourself because ultimately, Love follows this Law impeccably: [u][b]we attract the qualities we exude[/b][/u]. The KIND of attraction DEPENDS on HOW you transform yourself.
Negative people attract negative lovers/partners.
The list goes on.
Sometimes, love just comes naturally to some... it seemed that they don't have to worry about potentials.
But if you are not those kind of people, you got to work hard on yourself, to set yourself in a 'better condition' before love could appear.
Self discovery is crucial; you need to know the self method that works for you.
People who have no problems in attracting Love doesn't always mean that it is given by the stars; it is because they have discovered what worked for them FASTER than you do.
Everyone has different level of enlightenment. Some people have the ability to absorb and implement love wisdom faster, while some have difficulty in assimilating them in their heart.
Even though I have some decent knowledge of astrology, I merely use astrology as a tool. And even though some people are kinda born with relationship difficulty, divorce aspect, loner tendency, etc, I don't see it as one's destiny. Every difficulty hides a learning lesson - you conquer them, you GAIN the 'treasure' beneath.
Western Astrology believes in freewill.
We can change our fate... if that is what we want.
P.S: yunhaier don't have time to calculate what you desire and my knowledge is not sufficiently decent to say I am accurate about timing. If you are really interested to know, you could seek Zacken99 or OCEANOS. These people knows more than me and could help you. (At a price though).
Cheers
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Aunt Agony 090206
Originally posted by Confused28:
Hi,
I'm feeling terribly confused over this for quite some time. I'm attached for 1yr+. Our relationship has been pretty good. We used to meet 3-4 times a week however 4 mths back, I got posted to do shift work and we can only meet once a week. Somehow this has put a strain on our relationship. She is someone that needs company. I still love her though.
I met this gal 1 mth+ back. We hitted it off very well. I could say that we had a crush on each other. The thing is, she is 4 yrs in a relationship too. We sorta started our underground relationship without our partner's knowledge. I have met her bf face to face before though.
Recently, I had a arguement with her coz I dun feel secure with her, mayb the crush has ended (thats what I thought) but she told me tat this is not a fling and she doesnt wanna stop here. She claims to love me and her bf just as I love her and my gf. We are both greedy fools. She could have ended it when we argued but instead she did not.
I'm totally confused and not happy abt this. I hope to have the courage to end it once and for all but yet I really do like her. I dunno why I'm having this feeling over 2 persons. I'm afraid I'll be unable to get out of it. I've told some of my frds abt my problem. All of them told me to call the r/s off and go back to my gf. Is that the only way?
Uncommitted relationship.
Each of you love your respective partners, just that chances are, you two are desensitized to your long going relationship. There is a vulnerability to everything fresh, willing and different.
There is a exchange of mutual needs based on same vulnerability. We attract the qualities we exude - people who always attract others who are technically not unavailable, will always find themselves having this problem - the uncommitted will attract the uncommitted (it doesn't matter if one is single. You can be single and find difficulty in commitment as well).
When you change the nature of your work and it affects your relationship, it creates an emotional instability. It so happened that your instability is re-channelled into your crush, which simultaneously, gain stability from your channelling (she was instable at the same time - two negative makes a positive).
Both of you knows that this sub-rosa relationship wouldn't work out. It is merely there to fulfil a certain self absorbed needs. You knew it, but your conscience probably work against you. She knew it, but she still prefer to indulge in it.
Let's not look into your crush; in fact, lets review your relationship.
I) What do you think has changed in your relationship when this girl came into the picture?
II) How do you think of your relationship now... ESPECIALLY when you have actually agreed to an underground relationship with someone else.
III) What is this scenario trying to tell you? And by knowing, what are you going to do with this knowledge?
When you are sure of the answers to the above questions, you should roughly know what is the best course of action.
Cheers
Hi,
I'm feeling terribly confused over this for quite some time. I'm attached for 1yr+. Our relationship has been pretty good. We used to meet 3-4 times a week however 4 mths back, I got posted to do shift work and we can only meet once a week. Somehow this has put a strain on our relationship. She is someone that needs company. I still love her though.
I met this gal 1 mth+ back. We hitted it off very well. I could say that we had a crush on each other. The thing is, she is 4 yrs in a relationship too. We sorta started our underground relationship without our partner's knowledge. I have met her bf face to face before though.
Recently, I had a arguement with her coz I dun feel secure with her, mayb the crush has ended (thats what I thought) but she told me tat this is not a fling and she doesnt wanna stop here. She claims to love me and her bf just as I love her and my gf. We are both greedy fools. She could have ended it when we argued but instead she did not.
I'm totally confused and not happy abt this. I hope to have the courage to end it once and for all but yet I really do like her. I dunno why I'm having this feeling over 2 persons. I'm afraid I'll be unable to get out of it. I've told some of my frds abt my problem. All of them told me to call the r/s off and go back to my gf. Is that the only way?
Uncommitted relationship.
Each of you love your respective partners, just that chances are, you two are desensitized to your long going relationship. There is a vulnerability to everything fresh, willing and different.
There is a exchange of mutual needs based on same vulnerability. We attract the qualities we exude - people who always attract others who are technically not unavailable, will always find themselves having this problem - the uncommitted will attract the uncommitted (it doesn't matter if one is single. You can be single and find difficulty in commitment as well).
When you change the nature of your work and it affects your relationship, it creates an emotional instability. It so happened that your instability is re-channelled into your crush, which simultaneously, gain stability from your channelling (she was instable at the same time - two negative makes a positive).
Both of you knows that this sub-rosa relationship wouldn't work out. It is merely there to fulfil a certain self absorbed needs. You knew it, but your conscience probably work against you. She knew it, but she still prefer to indulge in it.
Let's not look into your crush; in fact, lets review your relationship.
I) What do you think has changed in your relationship when this girl came into the picture?
II) How do you think of your relationship now... ESPECIALLY when you have actually agreed to an underground relationship with someone else.
III) What is this scenario trying to tell you? And by knowing, what are you going to do with this knowledge?
When you are sure of the answers to the above questions, you should roughly know what is the best course of action.
Cheers
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Emotional Vampire
I happened to know of a recent case that took place to my good buddy and was quite horrified, though not surprised, by how sadistic, self absorbed and twisted ONE could be when love is in the picture. I seen this a couple of times; as the heart and mind had insidious theories, which was displayed through a series of vindictive behaviour and extremism.
It was incredible.... incredibly sick in the heart.
CloUdiSm record Emotional Vampires (EV).
You are probably an EV if:
I) You react physically when quarrel happens. You grab, you assault, or anything that is physical, REGARDLESS of how 'gentle' that could be to you.
II) You display signs of possessiveness/MCP.
III) You always speak with emotional tone and tried drowning your other partner. Your emotions are extremely one-sided, especially when your love wants to leave the relationship. You will emotionally locked her down (Love cannot be forced upon another is something alien to you) and react in extreme emotions.
IV) You attempt to stalk, make massive phone calls that is being ignored and all the sort of thingy to get the attention of your fleeting Love. In short, you haunt your love ubiquitously.
V) You make threats of some sort, REGARDLESS of whether you will fulfill those threats.
VI) Your temper runs wild easily OR this intensity is suppressed within your emotions. Very intense person.
VII) You keep harbouring thoughts that you have some 'ways' to get him/her back to you and may/may not exploit them. Please note that these 'ways' may not succeed and usually lengthen the misery to the people involved.
VIII) You practice HEAVY selective perception and is terribly self absorbed.
IX) You have severe affliction in love, astrologically.
I was quite taken aback when the victim herself was asked if she could leave this sick-in-the-heart man (SITH) through her own means, since it was CLEAR that love was gone and the relationship had gone meaningless... she said she wouldn't succeed and would probably remain with him. Afterall, he may change one day. (The current situation is that someone was introduced into the picture and the victim had left SITH... something quite heartening to hear).
WTF!
What do you mean by 'wouldn't succeed'?
Why wouldn't anyone succeed in breaking up a person successfully? (Heavy progression/Transit regarding Saturn/Pluto influence affliction, Tarot Card - Devil showed sign of bondage).
I guess her Sun sign and got it right - Taurus... the most FIXED sign among the zodiac.
And the extremist SITH?... Scorpio...
***
To ALL:
Understand the essence of TRUE BEAUTY in Love.
In which FREEDOM and LIBERATION is a mark of higher wisdom.
To LOSE a relationship is nothing than to LOSE yourself.
When you have deviated in name of Love... this is NOT Love, but karmic transformation, test and challenge.
Cheers
It was incredible.... incredibly sick in the heart.
CloUdiSm record Emotional Vampires (EV).
You are probably an EV if:
I) You react physically when quarrel happens. You grab, you assault, or anything that is physical, REGARDLESS of how 'gentle' that could be to you.
II) You display signs of possessiveness/MCP.
III) You always speak with emotional tone and tried drowning your other partner. Your emotions are extremely one-sided, especially when your love wants to leave the relationship. You will emotionally locked her down (Love cannot be forced upon another is something alien to you) and react in extreme emotions.
IV) You attempt to stalk, make massive phone calls that is being ignored and all the sort of thingy to get the attention of your fleeting Love. In short, you haunt your love ubiquitously.
V) You make threats of some sort, REGARDLESS of whether you will fulfill those threats.
VI) Your temper runs wild easily OR this intensity is suppressed within your emotions. Very intense person.
VII) You keep harbouring thoughts that you have some 'ways' to get him/her back to you and may/may not exploit them. Please note that these 'ways' may not succeed and usually lengthen the misery to the people involved.
VIII) You practice HEAVY selective perception and is terribly self absorbed.
IX) You have severe affliction in love, astrologically.
I was quite taken aback when the victim herself was asked if she could leave this sick-in-the-heart man (SITH) through her own means, since it was CLEAR that love was gone and the relationship had gone meaningless... she said she wouldn't succeed and would probably remain with him. Afterall, he may change one day. (The current situation is that someone was introduced into the picture and the victim had left SITH... something quite heartening to hear).
WTF!
What do you mean by 'wouldn't succeed'?
Why wouldn't anyone succeed in breaking up a person successfully? (Heavy progression/Transit regarding Saturn/Pluto influence affliction, Tarot Card - Devil showed sign of bondage).
I guess her Sun sign and got it right - Taurus... the most FIXED sign among the zodiac.
And the extremist SITH?... Scorpio...
***
To ALL:
Understand the essence of TRUE BEAUTY in Love.
In which FREEDOM and LIBERATION is a mark of higher wisdom.
To LOSE a relationship is nothing than to LOSE yourself.
When you have deviated in name of Love... this is NOT Love, but karmic transformation, test and challenge.
Cheers
Aunt Agony 080206
Originally posted by The Emperor:
All right guys.. i need some help, finally.
U see, i'm currently in a relationship (LDR) and i'm very committed in this relationship and i'm still attracted to this girl i'm in love with.
However, recently, i've met a colleague in my work place, whom i am a little bit attracted to her, cos we are quite close and she never fails to brighten up my day whenever we are together. i thought perhaps i should give myself some time to get over this feeling, but since it's still there, i'm not sure how am i going to handle this myself.
i can't afford to avoid her as we would be bound to meet each other at work, so there's no other choice. i can't quit my job as i want to keep this job very badly.
now, i'm in love with one girl and kinda attracted to another. damn.. any remedies guys? feow feow? mc? haiz... my head's spinning now. :(
This is the vulnerability of a LDR and this factor alone is usually enough to consume the relationship - physical distance.
The vast distance usually loses the appeal to people that are around you. It has nothing to do with weak Love, just that in reality, it is difficult to sustain relationship based on blind faith, imagination and conscious discipline.
An analogy would be: your current relationship is a premium brand, but it is at a premium cost. You fancy this brand very much, but it is draining your finance quite abit. Now you have a substitute brand... a new brand. It will cost you much less, ease this financial burden and probably satisfied what you may be looking in a product that this new brand is selling you.
***
If we say that three quarter of our communication comes from our non-verbals, it is safe to say that in an LDR, the expression of affection/to communicate our Love is severely limited to the final quarter, because we are not there physically to demonstrate or relate our non-verbals.
However, at the end of the day, the result still lies in...
I) What you want?
II) What are you looking for?
III) What will you do?
Remember, it's not really the brand that matters - they all sell the same product. It is whether you feel connected with the brand before you see yourself as a loyal customer.
Cheers
All right guys.. i need some help, finally.
U see, i'm currently in a relationship (LDR) and i'm very committed in this relationship and i'm still attracted to this girl i'm in love with.
However, recently, i've met a colleague in my work place, whom i am a little bit attracted to her, cos we are quite close and she never fails to brighten up my day whenever we are together. i thought perhaps i should give myself some time to get over this feeling, but since it's still there, i'm not sure how am i going to handle this myself.
i can't afford to avoid her as we would be bound to meet each other at work, so there's no other choice. i can't quit my job as i want to keep this job very badly.
now, i'm in love with one girl and kinda attracted to another. damn.. any remedies guys? feow feow? mc? haiz... my head's spinning now. :(
This is the vulnerability of a LDR and this factor alone is usually enough to consume the relationship - physical distance.
The vast distance usually loses the appeal to people that are around you. It has nothing to do with weak Love, just that in reality, it is difficult to sustain relationship based on blind faith, imagination and conscious discipline.
An analogy would be: your current relationship is a premium brand, but it is at a premium cost. You fancy this brand very much, but it is draining your finance quite abit. Now you have a substitute brand... a new brand. It will cost you much less, ease this financial burden and probably satisfied what you may be looking in a product that this new brand is selling you.
***
If we say that three quarter of our communication comes from our non-verbals, it is safe to say that in an LDR, the expression of affection/to communicate our Love is severely limited to the final quarter, because we are not there physically to demonstrate or relate our non-verbals.
However, at the end of the day, the result still lies in...
I) What you want?
II) What are you looking for?
III) What will you do?
Remember, it's not really the brand that matters - they all sell the same product. It is whether you feel connected with the brand before you see yourself as a loyal customer.
Cheers
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Why?
Something is amiss.
I lost something.
Why do I feel a sense of emptiness?
What am I seeking?
What is it?
How do I restore?
I lost something.
Why do I feel a sense of emptiness?
What am I seeking?
What is it?
How do I restore?
Bathing Ape (Spring/Summer Collection 2006)
Got the following thingy from hypebeast. WoOhoo... IMHO, the girls rox more than the clothes.... I swear.... LOL!
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