Aunt Agony 190206

Originally posted by SnowGiant:
I have not slept properly for the past 26 hours, so dont mind me
if I dont remember who is who..

but I do appreciate all the kind responses and the replies you all
have given me.. but you are not in my shoes, you cant feel wat
i am feeling either.

I feel.. lost.. numbed, and sometimes the pain shoots back into
my heart.. or watever is left of it.. and i have been stoning on
my windowstill for hours.. i stoned for.. 7 hours? I have yet eaten
anything.. i dont feel hungry.. nor thirsty.. my mind blanked most
of the time..

i still have the set of painkillers... 50 of them, mixed with 20 synflex..
stolen from my sis.. dunno will die properly if i swallow 70 of them..
will i even die.. ? dunno..

but then again, i tried to tink it positively, no use.. i cant even think
straight.

you guys really tried.. but failed le ba.. i still dun get it..

watever it is.. really, maybe im just not suited to be on earth anyway..
the pain is too great for me to bear... how can any girl be so harsh to
show you mms pics of her and another guy hugging jus like tat..
and added.. "i tink we shld not be together le ba.. we are still
friends.. :)" smiley face at the end...? wtf? break up mus go hug
other guy ah....

I told her i feel like dying.. she said "oh, dont jump off the building ar..
or else next day auntie will wash like siao de.. die also dun give people
trouble la.. ;p"

I was too hurt.. or even stunned to reply.. or rather, how to reply?
am i hurt? i dunno leh.. i dun even feel properly.. or is it hunger?

.... wat in the world... ... no logic... no sense.. im... wrong?

Im still locked in my room, i really mentalily shutting down le..
maybe i shld try to sleep.. for the 18th? 19th? time..

im tired.. im pretty sure.. my face looks crap.. maybe i shld sleep..



You wallop in so much self pity that you could probably drown an entire continent.

In fact, you are not a nice guy - you are an extremist.

You are so self absorbed, listening attentively to your biased POV and twisted theories of Love.

She may be wicked to reply you in that manner, but if you put some thoughts into them, you are 'threatening' her with hints of suicidal thoughts - obviously she would reply in such frivolous ways. What do you expect her to do? Play along with your nonsense?

You may have successful killed yourself and returned back to God; she may be guilty-stricken for about three months, then life is normal for her.

In the end, you achieve nothing as she ultimately find the 'right one' for herself and you DENYING yourself of one.

Nice guy don't talk about death; people who talks about death are extremist. (Afflicted Scorpiotic tendency).

***

In the game of Love, prepare to accept rejections and failures. If you can't accept them, don't get involved.

You are disillusioned.

Because in the first place, she isn't a good product to begin with.

It's like MLM - people holding blind faith and swear allegiance to this seemingly impeccable model that actually reeks of numerous flaws.

Snap out of it - thinking that she is your only one.

Love is about cosmic learning - you got to prepare yourself with all the 'learned lessons' and 'test' before you are ready for your eventual one. If you are going to tell yourself '...good game gentleman...'; you are going to miss out on this somebody, who has MUCH MORE worth, than her, of your Love.

P.S: Since MCsquare has already extended his hands, do pick up the offer if you can't handle it yourself. Almost wanted to say the same thing, but if he can't handle you eventually, I don't think I would attempt.

Cheers