Aunt Agony II 180306

Originally posted by LOST19877:
My bf, I don't really have any feelings for him. Infact, we started out because he kept breaking down infront of me. He kept crying and crying and crying. My friends and I all know that he can't live without me. He kept coming back no matter how many times I rejected him. He even knows where I stay. I accepted him partly because I really didn't have the heart to reject him anymore and since he knew where I stay, he might hurt my family, afterall I meant everything to him, without me he is just a zombie. Besides, if he really hurt my family, calling the police won't do any good as the damage is already done.

However, he treats me really really really really well. He gives in to me everytime. He buys me everything I wants, brings me everywhere I want to go. He doesn't even dare hug or kiss me, he just holds my hand lightly. I can't bear to see him hurt. He's a really good guy except that he needs me. I am like part of him life. Everything he does, he does for me.

I really don't see the problem, but yet there's a problem...


There seemed to be an overwhelming mote of self pitiness in him: your wrongly placed empathy will guarantee much suffering for him and yourself as the relationship began on a wrong foot. Emotions are oozing all over the place, spilling unsaturated agony as he has yet to attain emotional maturity. A relationship with such people is usually karmic because you bring on lessons to them.

Somehow, you thought of your acceptance of Love as a form of panacea for his life. In fact, based on what you have written about him, he is likely in need of emotional and spiritual evolution or crudely put: get a life, as having a relationship would not restore any of these afflictions.

To make matter worst, you have thought and his perceive in a way which you feel that you must be his answer to his suffering. Why, do you seriously think that, you are doing him a great favour?

The truth is that you are destroying him every minute.

This relationship is like him taking illicit drugs. You feed him with bleak hope that one day he could win you over, unknowingly, he will never succeed. This abominable desire grows with strength each new day and he will attempt to give everything that you wish because in his vision, this is only way you could allow him the 'drugs'... by allowing him to remain in this relationship with you.

Sympathy? Your sympathy blends in nicely with his self pity. So fitting that it revealed a blatant karmic pattern. When you retreated physically or when he 'thought' that you retreated emotionally, it is as if you are denying drugs for his addiction.

He cries.

He regressed back to his early childhood... back to how he react with difficulty he faces when he was a young boy.

Very ill or passive maternal influence.

***

Don't think about him; think about yourself. If this is not what you want, don't play angel to people whom you know will be intensely involved with you. You will sprout extremism in these people and leave burning scars that will be impossible to eradicate in the future.

Love is not about his inability of living without you - it is about the inability to live without each other.

Cheers