Aunt Agony 151006

Originally posted by tankh80:
Hi all I am a 21 years old NSF here recently my girlfriend just broke up with me she told me to face the harsh reality of she two-timing me. Really dunno how to get ovet this harsh times sometimes i really wanna get over with my life i try to take as much as 20 panandol with alcohol and still i am here talking to u guys, i try to commit suicide by standing in the middle of the road but the driver just manage to brake in time tell me guys am i seriously so stupid u must be thinking that i actually am right in actually fact i think i myself am very stupid why should i end my life just coz of a girl right but i really cannot get her out of my head i find that while i m driving outside i kind of like think of her suddenly and lost concentration on driving almost got into accident outside haiz sianz she is now with her new stead already and i also made a promise to her that i will wait for her to come back to me she knew about this and told me that she won't even come back to me anymore what to do man this is life.

Fact is i try committing suicide in camp in the end one of my seageants stop me from doing it by informing my BOS sianz any can't they let me go and die i juz wanna end all my misery she is a bloody glue sniffer whereas i am a bloody CNB volunteer counseller i feel that i aren't doing enough to help her kick the habit when we were together also the guilt i got from her the feeling i know is true when we were together..... that's y i wan her to patch up with me so badly and the reason why i am willing to wait for her...



I think this is where the problem lies, if my guess is correct.

If my assumption was accurate, you went into a relationship with her, simultaneously acting as her counseller. Here, you are not only breaking the code of ethnics for a counsellor (fine, you are a volunteer), but this is also extremely unprofessional, to be romantically involved with your 'client'.

If I am wrong, kindly ignore the above statement.

***

There is this heavy mote of self pity and extremism in your post. You are trying to foster that knight in shinning armour phenomenon, thinking that your love for her will enable her to straighten her route to a brighter path. It can be incredibly noble for such self sacrificing ideals, but we must have a common understanding that your love is NOT a panacea to her addiction because your love is nothing more than a speck of whirling dust in her eyes; currently, your not the only man in her life my friend.

Please burn this theory in your mind: if you are in a relationship with someone of inferior esteem/mental state - if one cannot enlighten/evolve their partner to be positive/stronger mental state, your partner will influence you to become like themselves. Understanding this, your suicidal thoughts are probably the result of being with her and it has affected you at subconscious level.

To kick her addiction requires little of your love; what she needs is professional counselling or intervention of lawful organization... to learn the consequence of her own karma from the foolishness of her doing. I suggest you give up having that idea of changing her, via having a relationship with you - that sort of love is terribly narcissistic. If you truly love someone, you will do what is necessary for her to kick the addiction, even if you are out of the picture. This is to the extend of her hating you for the rest of her life because true love will not allow you to haughtily see her engage in self destructive behaviour, if you had to power to do prevent it.

What is love to you? Just to have her by your side?

That's so fcuking self absorbed! Because ultimately, you will discover that the one you love the most is but yourself.

You would rather NOT incur her hatred by accepting her self destructive behaviour in a manner where you would try, in vain, to contain it yourself, than to risk this relationship/friendship with her by reporting it to organization that could actually help her, in their own ways, to break her chain of addiction.

The addiction and bad social influence she is being subjected to is beyond you - it has claimed her soul completely. If you wish to live in denial, thinking that your love could change her... would change her... alas... please wake up your idea cause I am saying it twice: it's beyond you.

The bottom of all; you attempt suicide. For gawd sake, if you think that she is the one engaging in self destructive behaviour and needs to evolve, I reckon you are also in need to change yourself because attempting suicide IS INDEED a form of self destructive behaviour.

Read what I had said or scroll through with selective perception - your choice.

Cheers