Aunt Agony 211006

Originally posted by nerfz:
For 20 years of my life, i have see many girls, many type of them, my defination of a "nice" girl is someone who is faithful, have good moral values, doesn't smoke , drinks or club.. doesn't look for fling or ons.. its someone ppl would call a decent girl or a wife-material.. and she don't have to look very pretty or have the body shape of a model.. just average is fine.. is my expectation too high ? i was hoping to have my special someone like this because i am able to fulfill those quality myself.. my problem is that i'm quite shy to girl..

but i just can't find her.. all the girls nowadays like to club, i guess people my age simply go for "fling" and "ons". they aren't willing to commit anyway.. or some girls that are really decent looking, but are really out to waste ur time or trying to get atttention and benefits from you when they already are attached or already have someone else as a target .. i was played once.. she think its nothing wrong about it cause i fall for her myself.. maybe its all my fault. but forget about all that..

"Nice girl" are all attached or they had already fallen for someone else, ironically its always the jerks get them.. my defination of "jerks" is .. someone who always club, flirtly, 2 timer, ABA, cheaters, insenstive ppl, etc.. i'm not saying i'm very nice but at least i know i will treat a girl better and truefully..

i have heard ppl telling me that "Nobody is perfect".. i was wondering if my expectation too high.. true love make u accept the other person.. is it true? does that mean we should go into relationship with a girl with such character? i don't want to because i know it would never last and bound to bring problems and pain to each other.. moreover things would become very complicated..

am i wrong? is my expectation too high?? should i open up and learn to accept others ?? does the problems lie with me..?



I don't actually think you tried hard in your search or even if you have, your search revolves mainly around your comfort zone... like looking for hidden sweet potatoes in that barren farm field of yours, refusing to strike out to greener fields.

Expand that social circle of yours, if you dream of finding someone suitable. Those of your league, falling into your kind of predicament, often claim to be the 'nice guys' and wondering why 'nice girls' are not coming along even though your expectations are simple. The truth is that either (1) you are looking at the wrong place or (2) you just still stuck in that small social circle.

Claiming to be 'nice guy' is a subtle form of arrogance because I always see 'nice guys' slamming people they label as 'jerks'. Obviously there are certain category of guys which are probably condemn for life, but a healthy number of others whom the 'nice guys' label as 'jerks' are actually 'nicer' than the 'nice guys'.

Your problem revolves with your mindset; remove that nice/jerk mentality and focus more on your 'selling' and interpersonal skills. It really amazed me when 'nice guys' are wasting those precious time and effort to analysis the jerks-of-the-world when they should be thinking about how to increase the probability of finding a suitable mate.

For a start, you may want to enlarge your social circle first. If you can't stand clubber girls, then begin your search elsewhere. Nobody says you got to club to be attached - chose another direction then.

Cheers