Aunt Agony 121006

Originally posted by o-lua:
wat shld i do, say i got a girl i like,.... we got quite close.
but she hints tt we shld remains as friends.

i dunno if she likes me. but i do get her attention, like she used to update me on her daily activities.. and now she's having her A levels. she's like quite sian alr.
so we sorta drift apart lest my smsing, to tell her im there for her.
it's always replied with 'thankew!, thanks!'

btw, i know she's not ready for a relationship. and she's nv been in one becoz she thinks she's not ready. she's rather skeptical too.
and i can see she's uneasy when i get overboard...

what shld i do?
or
shld i try to let her feel tt im ard .. but not pushy and pressuring?
if yes, how?


I don't know if your bone feels it, but to me, motes of your concern are indeed overwhelming, until it became a little suffocating. I am not sure about how others think, but I feel that concerns overly used at wrong situation abase its honourable meaning.

Be there for her what? Be there for A-level? Are you gonna slip little notes of answer under her table? I am fine with '...have my spiritual support...' sort of encouragement - but be there for you? Has she failed her A levels, not gotten the result she desired, or the schools she wanted reject her application, which causes her to cry like a bucket and needed that special attention from someone to be around?

Do you see the illogic behind this statement?

I understand that you want your ubiquitous presence to be felt, but it's like trying to demonstrate overwhelming concern over someone when there isn't a need for overwhelming measures; somewhat like you create your own market, inflate the supply side and realize that the demand isn't as great.

The reason why I am saying this is that although it sounded very noble to make remarks like these - it makes no common sense if the situation doesn't fit them. You WILL come across as a hard seller, or some MLM salesman with blatant intention to sell-more-than-an-intention-to-fulfil-needs and turn people off badly.

She, being not ready, is not exactly an issue because when she goes into university and a nice guy runs along, she will be hooked. The truth is that she is not convince over the fact that why she must accept you into her life. We must have a humble understanding that she doesn't love you... yet, because if she does, you wouldn't even be posting your problems here.

You have to sell yourself to her... all your qualities... and not to appear like you are trying too hard, for each time you make her feel uncomfortable, it reinforced one more reason why she should be sceptical and not give you a chance (I said giving chance and not accepting is because the feelings is not mutual). Nobody likes to be in uncomfortable situation - it breeds uncertainty and will adopt a gradual ebbing stance towards the uncomfortable situation (your case probably spells rejection).

Take all things naturally and you might have a fighting chance.

Cheers