Continued from Aunt Agony III 101006

Originally posted by contagious-nerd:


It is not exactly six years that i like her, i mean she, i can see is the one that will last long if i get her. But i never really go try cause i know its impossible until recently(2-3months) we somehow got closer and i dont want to miss the opportunity, taking steps by steps, trying to prevent any wrong moves. Has been very cautious. She's just has this very attractive personality that make me so happy everytime i get in contact with her. So its not really 6years and notthing happened, or should i say, 6 years but only 2-3months back that i got close to her, for the past 5 years 9months, we just catch up sometimes. I only got my feel when we got close :


There is still much fear... so cautious... so careful... like a delicate glass.

[quote] ....In the end i know its awkard that she didnt want to answer me, like "i'll let you know again?" then i'll just reply her that we cancel today before she denys me [/quote]

Your micro-control of situation revealed more fear; you set judgment just because you think she might be awkward... but it may not be that case? And unknowingly, you might be eliminating yourself due on fear?

Impossible in the past but ok now? You probably meant impossible in the past but when you got close to her, this mission impossible seemed possible now? Which might inevitably reveal how passive it could be on your side to inculcate constant, good friendship (even if there might be the boyfriend-factor, which might hinder you in the past)?

The reason why i am saying all this is because I sense fear in your post and to love is to be fearless... not fearful. You may think that your woman is capricious, but she might have pick up those little subconscious messages from your dealings with her, which may cause her to behave in that shifty manner. She is hesitating because something is missing. Something about you...which causes her uncertainty.

If she is uncertain, you must present a constant message about your intent (law of consistency), and not returning one step back on your chase, with every step forward just because your fear reminded you of your need to be caution. You put two uncertain people together, whatever budding love might die of 'natural death'.

I reckon you are afraid to break your one chance and shatter that fantasy of six years forever, like facing rejection face on and not being able to take it.

Sometimes, we just have to accept some risk in our chase. Perhaps it could be the time where we abandon the facade of a friendship and gradually reveal our interest in somebody. There is a difference between dating with an interest and dating hiding behind the facade of a friendship. The former presents a possibility, while the latter waits for a possibility.

Cheers