Aunt Agony 221005

Originally posted by transaihien:
Do you believe in fate? I wonder if there is fate in marriage?
Some people are just so lucky in relationship, and others are just keep searching? Some are just so happy smiling and others are just crying in silence...

Do you know how we can nurture relationship to keep passion for each other?


Everyone is constantly searching for companion and even if you are in a satisfied relationship and you long ceased the search... people search for you instead. Sourcing and temptation is part and parcel of having (not having) a relationship.

This is a constant.

Your question seemed to bend towards spiritual aspect of Love, where you question about fate.

I sincerely believe that no one is destined to be alone. The word 'DESTINED' is a word not found in Western Astrology because we believe in freewill. Hence I often substitute the word 'DESTINED' to 'Tendency'. It was also commonly mention that if you manage to change your fate - you are DESTINED to change it. So it is possible to change your destiny and this word 'DESTINED' is actually a negative attitude to perceive situation, for one often adopt a passive and nonchalant way of handling things.

In all my studies and humble opinion, chances are, you have yet to grasp the full understanding of why you have landed in such plight. Please note that we all have the POWER to change any aspects in our life. This is so fringing` true - the human mind, heart and soul TOGETHER can achieve things beyond your imagination. Trouble is, most people don't know that they have the innate power to perform all that. It was believed that 'only' certain people could have it. To make things worst, we often do not know WHY it is like that and HOW to go about doing it. Other people may have NO problem with it because they discover a way/method that works for them and they understand certain logics faster than you do.

But they are human like yourself. They are not deity and do not possess supernatural powers. What they know... you have the ability to know as well.

In simple: (1) There is something that they understand and you have yet to... (2) something good that they possess and you have yet to... or (3) something negative that you have acquired unknowingly and it wasn't found on them.

I cite you one good example: When I talk to people and probably share one Love theory from CloUdiSm, say, 'Love and Relationship is but two separate entity. You can love someone, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with him/her.'

Logically speaking, everyone understands this. But when you do a little application here, there will be this distinct group of people who don't understand, even logically speaking they understood (You have to think deeper... slightly chim here, but I hope you get the drift). For example, you talk to this guy who showed all the signs and symptoms of a possessive man. He is likely to be AWARE that possessiveness is a negative trait, but when circumstances trigger the natural possessive nature in him, nothing make sense to him.

This man tightened his claws because he felt that he is losing the relationship. He never stop. In fact, he tightened his grip even further as there are strong evidence that his woman is fleeing from him. His grasp gets stronger and stronger.... until the relationship snap forcefully. You can tell him ALL day that his possessiveness is killing the relationship and he retorts by saying 'So what you mean? She is running away from him and you expect me to release her by letting her do what she wants and watch her leave me?'

At the end of the day, the man still loses his woman and STILL doesn't understand anything. So I ask you people: who is at fault? Fate or personality? Freewill or destined? You think this is an impossible scenario? In fact, such cases are pretty common enough.

When we talk about marriage - how many people getting married can safely say that this marriage is the fruition of their Love? Settling down in a marriage completely born out of freewill, maturity and absolute clarity of what they want? In Singapore, almost (30%), for every three marriages, one would end up in divorce. Which goes to show that close to a third of these marriages, which adds up to more than 6000 marriages, probably doesn't know why the word 'marriage' in the first place and what Love actually means to the 12,000 odd individuals.

The truth is, most people married to circumstances, not exactly fruition of their Love, which is supposedly the ONLY reason why a marriage should ever happen.

Even our biological clock shouldn't be the FIRST pull factor into a marriage for real Love is spiritual - it transcend beyond emotional and physical realm. It's isn't surprising to hear stories of couple hastily getting into a marriage because they are not that 'young' anymore and only to see them getting divorce some years down the road because of incompatibility.

***

There are reasons why some people don't get it and why others seemed to have no problems in Love. The reason is yourself. Your chips to success in Love depends on how well you can absorb from your setbacks and to improve your future until you come to a stage where you blend reality with personal ideology principles. How well you handle your relationship and to keep the passion alive depends largely on how well you understand about your relationship, yourself, your Love and what is workable for you.
Fate in Love?

The reason is still yourself.

Cheers