Aunt Agony 141005

Originally posted by andy13:
Dear all,

recently got to know a gal from KL when i was there for official trip. Since the trip, we have been sending each other emails and later it was phone calls every nite. Till a date that i think we had fallen in love with each other. Later, a date was arrange and i drove to KL to meet up with her. It sort of confirmed our relationship. We were happy with the status. Today, called her on the phone. She told me that she will not be able to meet me up in Nov for holiday in Sin. Coz she told me that her EX is bringing his parents out for holiday and requested her to follow. (Her ex's parents does not know that they broke off)
So this gal confessed to me that she on and off meet up with her ex for such purpose. When i heard it, i was stunned. Do not know how to react. It has been few years since they broke off. Sigh. I really confused in my mind. What is she thinking? Cancel our holiday to go out with her ex and family?

Im confused now. I wonder should i continue with her or should i give it up as she told me that she is trying to do something about it. But on the other hand, i like her alot and wanted very much to develop something out of it. Can anyone say something????


Because this is a long distance relationship, you got to understand the high risk and the much-less fulfilment gain from the relationship. I don't know how fast it took you to be in a relationship with her, but surely, I doubt it was long enough to see certain critical factors or personalities about her to make a better judgment for yourself.

Regarding her ex's matter, it's kinda obvious that she is a woman that doesn't really make decision OR simply a woman that is still dwelling in her past. Both factors contribute to such behaviour of maintaining current status quo, with her ex, even though it is completely nonsensical. Your relationship with her is a perfect position for this nonsense to continue - imagine if she were to have a new KL bf, wouldn't it be a direct issue to settle immediately... with decision and all that, instead of a LDR, which is like easy to keep mum (to her ex), do what she always does and remain attached?

I think if you are looking for a permanent, long lasting relationship, you got to speak to her in regarding what she is looking for. She may see you as an emotional transition, therefore, before too much feeling is invested, please consider reality as part of your consideration, for you don't go clubs and look for lifetime partners - in the same way, when you are seeking someone... and this someone must share the same vision as you and not just a temporal thing. If it isn’t, then either you accept the deal or move on with it. A long distance relationship is already so challenging and to date... many fail ultimately and miserably.

If reality has shed some signs of complication ON TOP of a LDR, I think you seriously need to talk things through - to understand her mindset, your current situation and her emotional state.
Cheers