Aunt Agony 071005

Originally posted by gustowind:
Hi guys need some advice on this issue.
Here's the case:

I've been with my gf for almost a year. My mother was down with Kidney Failure last 2 weeks and I've been away from my gf for these 2 weeks.

Today she sms me that she dun feel the same way towards me as when we first started, and for some time she felt the feelings were cooling off.now she tells me she cant say she love me cos she dun know. And during this time she attended her cousin's wedding and she just realised she dun picture marrying me.

She also told me she don't have feelings for me and it's a gradual process. the more she see of me the more she feel that i'm not the one that she will marry. and the more she see the more she feel that way.

I've told her i will try to make changes for her. the issue is that she feels i'm not mature enough in my ways and thinking.

she also said that at this point in time she dun love me.

she said she cant stop me from trying to revive our relationship. but she told me that i cant force her to love me . if i try and the outcome is the same then i just have to accept it.

previously in the past she've given me hints already but i failed to act upon it.
and what she wants is very simple. Someone who is mature in his ways and thinking and who can lead her and her family in the right way ( apparently my misbehaviours are too glaring )

Could anyone give me some good advice? thanks a lot

regards
will


Strangely, to some whom I have spoken to, there is this burning desire to 'grow up', in whatsoever sense that means to them. This desire to hasten the process of maturing... in the first place, can you actually speed up of process maturity? Not exactly, for time is constant and there is only so much crap that could happen to us over a period of time. Our problems are scattered over our entire lifetime and usually wouldn't congregate only to one phrase of our life. Our life is constantly anticipating new challenges and if we fail to overcome them, we repeat them. In fact, we are all governed by mistake of the past, how you deal with them in the future makes you a different person and thus maturity gain. But definitely, you would have to go through certain ordeal before you can claim your lesson through reflection.

It seemed to me that your girlfriend realise that this relationship is not for her, not that it is not working well. You may have your flaws, but surely, she has hers. Trouble is: the blending of two personalities, intertwined into a relationship, is having some serious issues.

Change? What do you want to change? Or to be more truthful, do you think your attempt to change can change anything?

Your girlfriend presented an initial proposal to end this relationship mutually. She is stalling for time because she is probably unsure about how she is going to go about ending it. This is due to the Love that has once existed... vanishing into a pall of smoke.

It's about fleeting emotions - something that isn't there, not that it is broken.

P.S: You may need to be prepared emotionally and mentally. Your gf may seemed to give you a final chance to rediscover or rekindle lost flame in your love, but technically speaking, she may already have a decision of her own, in deciding the fate of your relationship with her.

Cheers