Aunt Agony 191005

Originally posted by kitty__:
I’m a 15 yr old girl. my boyfriend is 17, taking his O levels soon.
although we are young.. we are pretty serious bout this relationship.. we made promises to each other and have been together for a yr...
beginning.. everything's so sweet.. he calls and smses me often. treats me like a precious gem.
after 6 mths or so... he begin to have gan meimeis (godsisters) in his school. as we are not in the same school, his gan meis see him more than i do. they are quite close.. always smsing and go out together i suppose. whenever i see msgs n pictures of his gan meis. i feel very insecure.. i admit i get jealous very easily.. i just cant control myself. the problem is i keep it to myself.. i dont show my jealousy. i end up crying at night when i see msgs like.. "tickle u" ..... or whenever he doesnt call or sms me for 1,2 days. he seems to be very concerned about them.. asking them about exam results.. telling ppl not to bully them. so on and so forth. when i ask him why didnt he contact me. he gave excuses like sms use finish? but why is he smsing so much with them? im his gf... cant he just reduce his smses with them ? he didnt celebrate my birthday with me or give me any birthday present.
recently, i told him how i feel..
he seems to be taking it like a small matter. he assures me every now and then.. but after a while, the same thing happens..
is it because he feels that our r/s is still as sweet as before? tts why he doesnt take it seriously?
am i over reacting?
my friends say this is normal.. is it?

We all once own a kind of puppy Love and we all know that it wouldn't last eventually as our early love evince evidence of failing. Despite that, are we truly going to seal a relationship just because we know for certain that it wouldn't last? Which is more important? The ongoing process of understanding WHAT a relationship is all about or to keep pondering about long term relationship that must hint marriage? Logically speaking, it is the latter... but at her tender age??

***

You are just walking along Love's inaugural journey - the stage where we are taught our expression of feelings and emotions, reacting to that of a once-stranger... once-mere-friend. Your jealousy is a reflection of your fledgling emotions losing control due to incoming circumstances. You are unable to grasp hold of this new found emotion and it ran wild like chicken in a field. Some people never found the key to keep it stable - always experiencing petty jealousy in love, both big and small.

Your boyfriend, likewise, is on the road in experimenting Love. Everything seemed like a small matter to him because it doesn't seem a big deal at all because we are talking about puppy love - which trait is such that as long as I love you and you love me, everything else doesn't actually matters... god sis or not.

If learning to you is about passing your exam and the way is to study and memorised dead formula, you will do that because you want your paper at the end of the day. However, you will not acquire the essence of learning in that way, which will benefit you until you draw your last breath. This is the same as Love: man who doesn't demonstrate affection or romance by personality, will probably only 'perform' them in the beginning of the relationship or during chase as a selling factor. One of the reason why this loving...sweetie romance don't last is because it is not within your man's character to do so. It is done because it seemed essential to do so... to tackle you.

That is the reason why woman, after a couple of bad relationships, become resistance to flippant words and romance. They grew cynical in love, knowing that flowers, gifts and such is but methods employed by man to get them to fall in love. They became so afraid to step into the boundary of Love and fear if this man is like the one before.

You people are relatively young; please do not think that he is THE ONLY one for you. Relationship is unfathomable - one can never judge it's success due to a certain phrase, like honeymoon. Your REAL relationship begins after your honeymoon period, for that differentiate a substantial relationship from that of a false one.

P.S: Keep learning. You will get better at handling your emotions and relationship. I usually have the same advice for young people like yourself - better to understand emotions and the 'rules' to this game of love, then to pay the price at much later stage in life.

Cheers