Aunt Agony 031212

Originally posted by Earthcosmic2:

What if your spouse has an opp. gender good friend whom they call each other ‘darling’?

Platonic friendship is very common nowadays. However, will you get too close to the opp. gender without falling in love with him/her?

My spouse has a good female platonic friend and they call each other ‘darling’, in fact she also call another gf of her ‘darling’ so in a way nothing weird.

But isn’t it weird if my spouse whatsapp with her:

she: darling, you sound bored.

my spouse : darling, bla bla…

Should this be something I need to be concern over?

I mean, for awhile, I can say I trust them but what about in the long run, are they going to darling here and darling there forever?




It does not seem uncommon for one to address someone else affectionately, especially if their friendship is good. However, your post appears to me as a two-part question:

(1) Is my husband at risk of cheating?

Usually a cheating partner would progressively leak out a collective bunch of signs that are mutually coherent. If it is just a singular isolated sign, you could brush it off as platonic friendship. Surely, if he does have history of cheating, then I would say the risk is higher.

From this, one would generally have two schools of thoughts: (i) you believe that if any cheating would happen, it would. Hence any intervention wouldn't make a difference, but would instead hasten the process. (ii) you believe that you should address potentiality before it becomes a reality.

Both philosophical schools of thoughts in love are neither positive nor negative; it is merely how we are geared towards making certain resolution of conflicts in love. If you ask for my personal opinion, I would say my inclination is towards the middle way.

(2) Am I being too paranoid/bad for thinking this way?

It is only natural to be feeling what you are feeling.

We all have our basic needs in relationship and security is one fundamental need. If you feel uncomfortable with him addressing her in such a manner, then surfacing it to him and letting him know is one step you could actively take. You could approach and share it in a reasonable way that you feel uncomfortable with him doing what he is doing.

Instead of assuming, being able to communicate our feelings is important to ensure that there is no elephant in the room. It is the surest way of clarifying our doubts and strengthening the relationship, if we are haunted meaninglessly but by the ghosts in our mind.

Cheers