Aunt Agony 160805

Originally posted by milktea:
Hi.....im posting here in the hope that i would be able to get some useful advice.
I have a close friend whom i have known for nearly 3 yrs. He confessed to me 2 yrs ago that he did like me alot and hope that things btw us can progress beyond merely friendship. I was surprised at that time and i reacted by pretending that nothing ever happened and tried to avoid him for a few months....hoping that his feelings would change thru time.

However....a few months back, i sort of had this nagging feeling that he stil had some feelings for me as he kept asking me out and wanted to spend his bday alone with me. And he started giving me gifts with very obvious meanings....but the thing is ....i dun feel anything for him at all even after all these yrs. I have tried dropping obvious hints such as asking him to go get a gf, refusing to spend valentines with him etc but he juz doesnt seem to get it....hence recently.....i have become very mean to him on purpose, doin things that i dun even do to ppl that i dun like.....now i feel so guilty cos he seemed to be rather hurt by wat i said and what i did.....
i really hope that he doesnt waste any more time on me........how do i bring across my point and not risk hurting him or losing him as my fren? pls advise... :(



UNDERSTAND that 'hurting him' is NOT your choice... It's HIS CHOICE.

You CAN'T stop him from loving you.

You CAN'T stop him from doing things to try and win you over (annoyed you as a result).

You CAN'T do anything to change his initial reason of liking.

Because it is his choice, when you have already did what you could to reject him, then just leave it. You don't have to ignore him purposely, when you can be VERY disinterested, with the exception of avoiding any virtual reply (i.e. SMS, MSN, etc). Reply with a one liner if circumstances is such that you have to speak, strong disinterested body language and such.

No man would have the endurance to withstand complete disinterest before they surrender. You must realise that it shouldn't bother you at all BECAUSE you don't like him and so whatever he wants to do, it's his business. The factors is such that you can't change them, so avoid thinking that because he can't move on from you, you are implicated into this as well. It isn't so unless you think that it will.

Cheers