Aunt Agony II 210707

Originally posted by galfriend:
my boyfriend always tell me about other people's problems, especially after a good night out.

manyatimes, we are out to chill out after a hard and stressful days from work. and towards the end of the night, and we are both happy, finally forgotten about all the worries and stress about work and many others, he tells me his worries about others, like his friends who quarrelled and etc.

tonight he tells me again. been having very stressful and political working environment for months. after a hard day of work, we went to chill out. had fun and was happy. on the way home, he tells me about his sister's problems. i was so sian. after hearing, i told him, how much can you worry? before anyone breakdown, you'll be the first to breakdown, or maybe me. cos he has his own problems to worries and others' problems. cos i have to worry about my own problems, his problems, now i m burdened by his worries of others problems. i wasnt happy. and he said, maybe i shouldnt tell you so much.

i m so vexed, cos i really wake up to all reality, all the stress of life and work, after much effort (ie one whole nite's effort to relax). what should i do?


Some people just highly subjected to 'environment feelings' - they are easily disturbed by the aura people exude from their feelings and it clings and lingers onto them easily (especially so if he's a Pisces - next comes Cancer and Scorpio).

This is a clash of emotional management, rudely brought forth into the private space of your relationship.

The theory of equilibrium will tell you that if you are subjected to negativity and if your influence do not seek to overcome the source of negativity, you 'lower' yourself to be on 'par' to this very source, in which I reckon that your man neither has the life force nor positive condition to take on such choking influences from people around him.

It's only natural for wanting a quiet space when you spend some quality time with your boyfriend. Your work is probably drudgery and toilsome - with all that deadlines, distraction, noise, unhappiness, anger, frustrations and all sort of unpleasant moods and situation shrouding you like some malicious spirit, attempting to break your spirit.

Does he knows about your frustrations at work? Or do you choose to avoid sharing as you prefer to keep your time together as musically sweet as possible?

From his POV he's likely to think along this line:

'I want to share with my girlfriend some issues in life, but she seemed to be irritated with the notion of me sharing with her. Yes, it's true, these are people's problem, but I am somewhat implicated because these are my love ones too. Sigh. Perhaps, next time, I should just keep everything to myself.'

And of course, you are only but a human - you can only take so much stress before you collapse emotionally.

These realities are realities of a love relationship in an urban city; stress comes in several form of dimensions and they will seek for the 'line of least resistance' - hoping to crash at the spot where your vulnerability lies and crumble your love through external means.

But does that mean that this is a sure fail? Not necessary.

Since you two are unable to control individual constrains in life, communicate and decide the best way you could compromise and work out something that you could keep the life of your relationship flowing. (If you two share the same religion together, both of you could seek for solace in your faith through prayers. Or speak with your religious leaders if possible).

You see, what happens is that both of you are facing challenges in life; it's just that each of you were hoping that your other half could provide you the avenue to alleviate this frustration from your state of life and the condition it brings. Therefore, how would it be possible for anyone of you to afford the emotional luxury to tender those sensitive needs when in your perception, both your visions have been blotted out by all these immerse problems, acting as a barrier to enjoy your relationship?

Sometimes when we are so overwhelmed by all these distractions in life - we tend to lose focus and forget that the basis laws to happiness in love is not about the tangibles - it's about being in our real self and communicating likewise in this form. The next time when he starts this again, cuts him off with a momentary kiss. Or put a finger to his lips and embrace him.

There are always no definite answers to problems and frustrations in life; but surely, there's strength in support.

Cheers