Aunt Agony 140707

Originally posted by bearie000:
Been dating this guy for a few months.however,when i turned down his request for intimacy, he didnt want to talk to me anymore.I thought he sincerely liked me all these months but now he is ignoring me.......

why? even if he is in for intimacy in a r/s ..doesnt have any feelings for me?
i mean even if you dont love a person, you still have fond memories of the person and want to keep in touch..

why is he so heartless?cut off with me after i refused to be intimate with him. :( doesnt have feelings for people ?or is it im too duo qin....and devoted..when he just took me for a ride.

this is not once..but twice...the guy i dated previously is also like that

i must be a unlovable person..thats why i cant make people develop feelings for me

i mean if u see a person for few times, after that, you will also miss the person even if you dont love the person...but he doesnt seem to miss me or care a damn abt me!

i cant believe a human being can be so callous....for me, even if i have a normal friend from the opposite sex, i still keep in touch,afterall,he has bee my friends for so long and i still care and think of him from time to time...



This is an exchange of needs - he wants intimacy and you want companionship.

You deny one aspect of this trade, the deal cannot run.

Be glad that you have seen his colours even before he transpire; why bother to have the affection of someone whom never meant to be true to you and himself in the first place?

I hope you have the sense to find someone who is both genuine inside and out, not some clown donning jester's mask. Why bother to have the latter's love and affection, where your suffering will likely to intensify when you learn of his facade later on in a relationship?

Our love life is governed by the sort of mindset we implement in our life: People with twisted mindset about love always have screwed relationship - that equation hardly changes. We attract the quality we exude, therefore attracting the wrong kind of mate is often a quality found in ourselves upon close examination.

Such gloomy automatic thoughts have no absolute benefit to your love life; in fact, if you began to believe in your own propaganda, you will always meet man like these. Unconsciously, your poor outlook in love might just be the cause of your so called 'destiny/fate' in love.

Many people failed miserably in love because they failed to understand that self love must come before love. These people attempt to supersede the love they received from others to mollify their emotional deformity and hatred for themselves. They somewhat reckon that the source of happiness can only be bestowed from the others' approval, love and recognition.

But as much as we love to be loved, if the core belief of our love is aberrated, whatever love that was granted to us merely acts as a screen to avoid facing our psychological and emotional imbalance, resulted from the lack of self love.

And the moment when our love fleets, the mayhem triggers instantaneously - we slipped into hysterical mode when we realised that we have to face our ghastly unloving side once again, which has always been blotted out momentarily by the superficial nature of our relationship.

One can only hope to win in love if they have the wisdom to win themselves.

Cheers