Aunt Agony 220707

Originally posted by haywir:
Hi.. Will appreciate forumers' comments.. I am 25 yrs, attach with my girlfriend for 2 yrs.. Recently, i got involve with a 20yrs lady.. She is a student.. Lets call her AA.. The lust and excitement got AA and me involve in a relationship.. We meet, hv sex, chat, etc.. She is very open-minded to our "relationship".. Both of us accepted the non-committment aspect of our "relationship".. However, I am the one who is terribly troubled now.. I have gradually become emotionally attach to her.. I do not feel good abt her mentioning her guy frds, the dates she had, etc.. Remember, it was me who does not want emotional attachment in the very beginning, and I am the one falling into it now.. AA is handling our relatinoship much better than me.. I know I will never have the heart to break off with my gf for AA.. Yet, this "feelings of the heart" with AA is making me haywire.. Guess it is indeed true with the advice of, "never get involve with having a mistress".. I thanks you in advance for any serious comments and advices...


The sad plight you have landed yourself into is probably because there's an aperture in your relationship. Perhaps you reckon your relationship is unfulfilling or that your relationship is too calm for its own good and subconsciously, you 'summon' waves to jazz up your love life.

You may think that sounded illogical, but people does that sort of things all the time.

It's because our experience in love is never stagnant. In fact, we face challenges every moment of our life.

You may think that this woman represents non-committed/somewhat free sexual relationship (AOS will likely attribute her as a Siren), but the truth is that her presence presents a cosmic test, which you failed utterly - judged by the strength of your love towards your girlfriend and the relationship. The flesh may be weak, but surely the flesh is the lowest level of all our higher senses. If the mind, heart and soul can be easily dominated by our animalistic instinct (Mars), which is the lowest level in our human consciousness 'chain of command', then the path you walk will surely lead to misery and sorrow.

To understand the driving force behind your decision to betray your girlfriend, you got to first understand whether was it a push or a pull factor. The former represents a fissure in the relationship, while employing an avoidance-defensive mechanism in respond to this crack and the latter represents flaccid self principles devoid of wisdom.

Eventually, you may just decide that your 'mistress' is the woman you are seeking all these while. But as you reach for her heart and find nothing but illusions, it may just dawn on you that you are just become a pawn of own karmic debts.

I pity your woman, not because you are a man who went astray, but rather, you betrayed her in both levels - physically and emotionally. A woman might be able to source some remote reason/s to salvage a relationship if a man loses one aspect among the two, but certainly not both - because it makes no meaning to retain a man who desire to flee and a man like you supply her no reason to stay.

Perhaps you might want to rethink your situation; albeit holding onto your girlfriend may be the best of both world for you, but such selfish grasp onto her may end up tearing your guilt wounds wider.

I can safety say that chances are, you won't be able to convert that Siren to settle for you exclusively. Your contract with her never had that clause and you are probably just like the many other guys she had sexual fling with. Therefore, what makes you think that just because she got into bed with you, it implies that you have power over her?

P.S: Man are often lost when the tables are turned against them, as they become the prey, completely subdued a woman with voracious sexual appetite.

Cheers