Aunt Agony 310707

Originally posted by casshern:
the girl studies in a Uni with double degree scholarship.
the guy is a humble civil servant with only A levels.

it was a very happy relationship, closing in to 5 years.

one day,
she says that both parties come from very different worlds.
she says there's no future for them.
she says they no longer share anything in common.
she says she's losing the passion.
she says she's tired of trying.
she says she feel the heartache whenever she think about their future.


You might think that the chasm in education is the de facto reason contributing to the degeneration of this relationship - eventually you might just realized that any reasons would take on similar conclusion, for as long as the person desire to leave.

Any reason will do.

Your 'happy relationship' is probably one-sided - it might be sparking joy for you to just being around with someone you love, but certainly, it isn't very much the same for her.

It isn't enough and that insufficiency topples the balance.

She might be contented previously, but with desire comes disappointment. I recalled talking to someone who felt afraid of her 'new self' - albeit she began to enjoy financial independence and powers; she realized that her expectation of her mate also grew proportionately.

She felt she is no longer the same as before, being conformed and shaped by societal norms. Perhaps the rudimentary womanly instinct of 'survival' triggers - as the need to 'select' the best possible mate to 'ensure the best possible condition to breed the next generation'.

In introspection, when we try to uncover the common factor/s attributed to the construction of our relationship; when all is crystal-clear in naked eyes of wisdom, we might just realize that time could just be that one solo component, breathing life into an otherwise impossible relationship just because all other elements are conducive enough to elicit a relationship.

What I am trying to say here is that all relationships are created by gift of time, circumstances and situation (whether or not it is karmic). And with the change in time, circumstances and situation - when all components in this equation changes, things might not be the same anymore, even though both of you still looked the same, leading the same relationship.

True love is when your core doesn’t waver, despite all that beguiling distraction that invoke outwardly from all changes in life.

Your woman swayed and got affected by this notion, as this effect plants seed of doubts in your relationship, questioning its original identity and reason of existence. Perhaps that might just be the source of fatigue she is trying to endure - the ubiquitous expectation of what should be a 'perfect/standard relationship'.

Why question it only now? Or is it because what doesn't seem to matter in the past matters right now?

Is it really education? (Or the other side of the story we haven't heard)

Or has Love weakened? (Or the other side of the story we haven't heard)

Sit together and talk it out - you might still be able to do something if this frustration stem from your apathy and passiveness in love and life. But if she has decided that the fire has burned itself out, with the final chance to 'amend anything' forfeited, then you probably need divine intervention.

P.S: All is equal in eyes of love. However, when this paradigm shifts drastically, one usually only obtain companionship, not soul mates. So what if it's five years? The length of relationship often speaks nothing of the love that's truly within.

You might not have to reconsider this relationship - but surely, you must preview your definition of love and see if it's parallel to hers.

Love is about looking at one common direction... not just at each other.

Cheers