Aunt Agony III 210707 (Continued from AA II 210707)

Originally posted by galfriend:

Yes, he knows about my stress and frustration at work and of cos the long hours too. but i rarely 'whine' about them, ie i rarely repeat my stories or my problems. i told him cos i think there is a need to communicate, to let him understand me as a whole, but i try not to let it affect our relationship, by not whining about them.

it came as a wonder, that he seems to be like so unaware of that, and kind of surprised him when i told him off that night. he keep repeatly asking me, 'is work your problem'. and i keep repeating yes. then he asked, 'is work your only problem', and i keep repeating yes.

or maybe is it me? that i rarely complain and whine, hence he underestimated the amount of stress i am facing? but i really do not believe in persistent complaining and whining, for it kills most relationship.

btw, he is a capricorn



This is what you get when you put two complete strangers together in something we call relationship, with love as the element to keep you two in unison: differences.

And in the end, it's about discovering more of yourself, as much as your other half.

You must understand that your belief is exclusive only to you, vice versa. To change a belief/personality/character might be just a little difficult, thus the easier option is always to compromise on something that is workable in your relationship to keep it functioning.

It's not so much about the work, the stress or everything else that got implicated into your relationship - it's about knowing that despite the individual differences, how is it that you are going to live harmoniously with him while understanding that you two are but separate being.

Find a good time and communicate to him about your thoughts (not problems) about this issue and allow him the chance to share with you his. Perception are bound to clash, but at least when you keep this open as a known problem, you pave a opening for possible solution/compromising when the occasion calls for it.

Sweeping it under the carpet will only bring about deeper frustration and proliferates internal resentment.

Cheers