Aunt Agony 251107 (Continued from Aunt Agony 131107)

*Analysis between conflicts of Self*

Based on of your birth details (subjected to your accuracy of your birth time):

There is an extremely strong tension in your natal chart surrounding your individual self component (Ascendant is heavily afflicted by a T-square aspect, involving planets acting as significators from 1st - 5th house, stellium in 1st house, conjunction of all outer planets). Your entity of Self isn't just tied down; it's glued, bolted, nailed, and buried ten thousand feet beneath earth, with you struggling to get out from this incarceration.

I see suppression - (Uranus conjunct Saturn in tight 0 degree aspect). I am going to explain your situation paradoxically with this set of irony: Your have an individualistic inner personality that subconsciously wants to free itself from your subconscious dimension, by manifesting it in your consciousness and transforming you as a person likewise. But simultaneously, you have a very 'safe' and rigid attitude towards this transformation because Saturn seeks to conserve and crystallize this energy from scattering.

The best analogy I can give you is our PAP government - our government is maturing at a very slow rate; they understand the importance of liberty and freedom... on how creativity, entrepreneurship, arts, etc, will bring Singapore to the next level of growth, but are not willing to lose sight of the shore.

While others might dismiss your situation as innocuous, to make matter a little worst, you have a very enervated Mars (in Anaretic Degree) completely drowned in the sign of Pisces (also part of the T-square). In simple, your chart revealed personality weakness and lack of courage to initiative changes or decision that would ruin status quo. This creates a synergy with the above pointer - your helplessness lies greatly with your perception of how futile you see yourself in changing your circumstances.

However, despite all that, you did not resign to fate (Uranus in 1st house wouldn't easily allow it) - but what happens is that your quiet frustration and tension builds upon your helplessness and when the condition are right, it triggers an astrologically acute depression (Saturn in 1st house, conjunct Neptune are all signs of depressive outlook in a person). Approximately, your trigger will occur around:

1) 4.83 years old

2) 12 years old

3) 19.58 years old (I think you just hit (or is hitting) this currently)

Even if you don't really understand what I said above, it doesn't matter because whatever I have just said is not as important as what I am going to say now:

To change your plight, you must first seek the strength to change from within. Your inner strength is feeble; your desire for changes never matched up with the action needed for changes to occur. If you can never see that you are the key ingredient to overcome your struggles in life, you will always live a life of suppression.

And that fear will always make decision on your behalf - you never fully become yourself as a person.

Cheers