Originally posted by CrimsonWind:
I got to know G last year. We're in the same class. Used to be sworn enemies at first, but as time passed, we got to know each other better and now we are close friends. I don't know if she does treat me as a close friend but I do, at least I can guarantee that I'm one of the closer ones with her in class. Thinking back now, we were once foe but now friend.
Everything went on nice daily, always looking out for my 2 best pals(G is one of them, the other one is a guy), always discussing what to have for lunch, enjoys the time spent with both of them, looking forward to the next laugh with them.
It was until one day(few months ago) when another guy told me that he fell for G, a strange feeling overwhelmed me...like despair. He started by asking if I like M and if we have any special bond. Of course I said no and he went on saying that he can foresee that G and I will be together but I just shooed that sentence away. Then he felt safe enough to confess that he likes G.
After that incident, I've been pondering what that feeling I had was about. I reflected my memories so many times but I couldn't come to a solution. Or maybe I should say, I didn't dare to tell myself the final answer because I know what it is. Everyday, I'm only staring at the door in the morning because the sight of G is like my coffee for the day, discussed what to have for lunch so I know that she's eating well, enjoys the time spent with her knowing that she's well and also I can hear her voice, always looking forward for the next laugh to see her smile and know that she's at least happy.
It sucks, I always thought that I treat G only like a buddy and didn't expect myself to slip so easily. I know I can't continue like this, and since we are both in the same team on an important project coming up, having those feelings for her is an even more no no. If luck is on my side, any BGR will only hinder the whole group. If luck isn't on my side, the distance that my confession will make between G and I will break the team.
That's y I need some of your valuable suggestions on how I can keep my feelings within boundaries. How do I form a heart of stone? I still want to remain as close friends with her, but I do not want to fall for her...
Thanks for your time.
CrimsonWind~
How do you want to turn your heart into stone when you cannot escape the fact that the heart is indeed made up of flesh and blood?
And because you can't, there's no way you are able to avoid feeling what you are feeling - an avoidance tactic will never resolve your inner turbulence. You can always tell yourself a million times that you don't want to fall in love with her, but if that's of any help in the first place, then you probably won't be in agony.
The truth is that you are suffering because you are resisting against this natural rhythm of life - you got to accept the emotions that are surfacing and decide how are you going to deal with this love. Constraining love's presence will only encourage it to escalate out of control and it usually promises much misery.
You cannot return back to where you come from; you can only decide how you want to move from here. Upon realization of your feelings for your woman, there is simply no way you can revert back being a close friend, without this overwhelming, flooding love that seeks to embrace your relationship with her.
Deny all you want - at the end of the day, you will face your naked soul alone, with all the suppression you coerced yourself to believe in.
Sometimes in Love, a boy never grows into a man... until you introduce a competitor. The competitor is not a competitor; it's a catalysis for transformation.
Cheers
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