Aunt Agony 091207

Originally posted by moletan2003:
Hi I am having some problem with my girlfriend and need some advice. Recently, my girlfriend have been going out with this particular guy for about 5 times since may this year. I ask her why is it that she is going out with him? and she explained that it is because that she just wants to know more friends.

I understand that it is perfectly fine to know more friends, however I think that the guy is interested in her hence his persistence. And I did voice out my concern to my girlfriend and she promised me she will not go out with him again. That was 2 months ago. Yesterday, she went out with him again.

Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.

I have been with my girlfriend for about coming to 2 years. Currently I am a civil servant but come next year Jan I will be quitting my job and concentrate on my degree. I took this step to enhance my paper qualification so as to increase my chance of getting a better paid job. She is supportive but she also understand that I will not be able to be as stable as before when I quit my job.

I am sad that this has happened but I also need some assurance from her. Am i selfish in asking her to stop seeng this guy?? objectively there is nothing wrong with her seeing other guys. emotionally, i am actually quite bothered by her willingness to go out with him. I am very sad cause I have put in alot of effort in maintaining this relationship but she is just not being helpful.



You have re-encountered a situation previously occurred in the past - that your girlfriend has decided to date another guy outside this relationship and began to question or review the existence of your relationship.

Albeit I do not know you personally, unless you are somehow fortunate enough to find someone that appreciate your sort of personality and definition of love that you share, you may want to do some quiet introspection to uncover where the rot first began in your relationship. I reckoned that the last thing you would ever want to see is this same vicious cycle befalling on you again for the third time or beyond.

A perfectly satisfied woman can never be seduced - surely, there must be that little subconscious frustration or unsatisfied needs that go unnoticed throughout the course of your relationship, which conjured the 'push' factor for her to look elsewhere. I won't say that it's unreasonable for you to be insecure, because somehow, your woman does show signs of drifting and you seemed powerless to do anything.

Somehow the excuse of having 'to know more friends' is but a facade to date other guys and to jump ship when the opportunity arises.

The crack is NOT caused by her trying to expand her social circle outside that of her relationship - but rather, if the introduction of this guy could possess the power to devastate your relationship, I say it's more than meets the eye because if your relationship of two years cannot even handle the appearance of one fellow - looks like the structure of your relationship isn't as sturdy as you might thought it could be.

Love can withstand any adversity ONLY if it's true to its highest and most sacred intention. Superficiality and inferior love will only crumble with the passing of time for a feeble relationship cannot endure the decomposition nature of time. Time, being the greatest test of love, will always seek to comminute - what years of relationship you took to build - overnight... like how fragile a glass can be... smashing delicately against the brick wall.

Sadly, if your love decides that she wants to out, there's little you could possibly do to restore this damaged relationship. For love has neither auto-save nor backup function to return back to the 'golden age' of your relationship. Your request for a cool down period probably hints that this relationship is almost as good as gone.

A cool down period hardly serve its original purpose - more often than not, it's usually served as a preparation for one to leave the shore to pursue new isles.

This period might just give her enough clarity to take flight and fly high. And you: the time for acceptance and the courage to walk forward.

Cheers