Aunt Agony 141107

Originally posted by NotADream:

I am really in agony, i jumped into this knowing i would have to face this someday. I didnt know how to start, but here is it.

I can still clearly remember our first "official conversation" 3 years ago. I was in the school's library and she was very busy typing on her computer. I went over and sat down and said "You look really tired". She stopped typing, smiled at me and said, "For my post-grad research, i've got a student helper, but he went missing. I guess transcripting like this is not for everyone."

I said something and went off for lunch. After lunch, i bought coffee and headed over to the library. I gave her the coffee and i could see that she was really happy, then i handed her my thumb drive. She was reluctant at first, but in the end, she still accepted my offer to help with her transcripting. That was when i got her cell phone number and MSN, in case i encountered problems with the transcripting...

That was how we started everything. I was then 18, finishing my A levels, and enlisting. She was then, 27, an attractive teacher and post graduate in my school doing research and teaching.

We got pretty close, and tease each other alot. I didnt give it much thought at first, i just liked her company, and she didnt mind too.

With my help, she finished her research on time, and she wanted to pay me for the job done, but i declined. I jokingly said i wanted a meal, and that is what she did. We had our first dinner together at a small, inexpensive restaurant, and the start of many more to come.

Months later, i was enlisted. She accompanied me alot before enlistment, even more then my parents. Every night, i would exchange sms with her, she would brighten up my night. Once, i am able to book out for a day due to public holiday, and i dreaded the long journey home. I called her, and she agreed letting my stay over for the night at her place in pasiris since she lives in a rented apartment alone. That was the start of my staying over at her place during weekend breaks or holiday breaks. She would help wash my laundry, cook, watch television together and sometimes even massage my back for me.

I knew we were not just purely friends since then.

now i am 21, she's 30. I am having a steady job and doing my degree at SIM at the same time. She now teaches in a certain institution. We are an item.

Few weeks back, we had a chat.. She felt that we should make known our relationship... I am fine with that... and her mother objects to our relationship very very strongly...

She loves me, and i loves her. Now, we are facing pressure from family, friends and even when we are out, shop assistants/owners addresses us as siblings and such. Are we really not suitable? Why cant we be together?

Who determines your outcome and final judgement in love?

Is it your friends? Your parents? Or God?

If you are having visionary plans to pursue this relationship adamantly, you will surely encounter endless obstacles along the way. I am not saying this to discourage you from loving the woman you have chosen, but rather, to set you on the correct mindset first and picture reality, without having to love while revelling in delusion.

There's only one way if you desire to love the way you want - that is to banish traditions and demonstrate your inexorable ideals in love - which is by having to succeed solely with the power of love against all odds.

You cannot blame our society from having such bigotry perception because the culture here bends towards assimilation than diversity - people cannot seem to accept others/views/situations that are different from the 'norm' or themselves.

What matters is the powerful force of love surging inside the both of you; who cares about what other people might think? But the former must materialise with substance, if not this equation would be weak and gives little incentive to pursue such challenging relationship. Remember: every reason outside the perimeter of true love merely reinforced the reason why you shouldn't go along with this because this belongs to RHC (CloUdiSm: Relationship of Higher Complication).

If you do not have the inner strength to take on such daunting challenges, I would suggest just forget about this whole thing because your relationship will never be a bed of roses until you overpower this Saturn-influenced relationship. You got to accept this notion from day one and work out your strategy based on this background.

The minute you slacken - you will lose this war rapidly and your relationship will start to disintegrate like vampire to sunlight. Comparing to other 'conventional' relationship - you probably have twice the area to defend, with half the troops available.

You can degenerate this relationship to societal pressure and appease the majority, but when your regrets start to sink in like viscous goo, nobody will share your emotional torment; you will live with the consequence of your choice.

If the relationship must fail; let it be the will of fate... not the will of man.

Cheers