Aunt Agony 250706

Originally posted by moodyuke:

My fren have a RS problem.

her story :

i like a guy and he likes me too. He said that he like me but he don't love me.
we go out, did anything that a couple do, going out, movies, have meals together, kiss, hug, pet. nothing more than that..

i m in mid 20s and he is in his 30s.
he nv been in a Relationship(RS) b4 and this is my 3rd RS.

He did tell me that we wun have future together and that we can develop to bgr at the most but not to marriage..

BUT... why is he doing all these? (being nice to me, accompanying me, helping me and esp, petting)"

Could it be coz he have nv been in a RS and using my fren to do all these intimate things that only couples can do and that he is not interested in settling down? Or what do u think, frens out there?

According to what my fren know, he is still Virgin lo...

She knows him quite alot..They have good chat and usually shares their thoughts and feelings with one another..
so, i believe that he nv been in a RS@b4... he is an honest guy (same opinion of many pple who knows him) so believe what he say...

what is ur view ?


If you put some thoughts into my views, you will probably see what I see:

If he is able to woo your friend over (unless factors lies with your friends), obviously, he has that potential to woo just any other ladies. Clearly, there isn't a problem with his interaction with woman. Therefore, it isn't personality-related issue that causes isolation.

If he is truthful:

My take is that albeit he mentioned that he didn't have any relationship before, but I suppose he could have concealed the point about flings. He may have certain sub-rosa relationship/s that may not constitute an actual relationship. Some people play around with words; I have this buddy who decided that anything less than two weeks are not considered as relationship and his exes is said to be 20+... excluding those less than 2 weeks. You get the picture.

Then again, there could also be a possibility that he brandished an unconscious fear of relationship and commitment. This is likely to be psychological; it would largely be due to his early childhood development (since he mentioned that he has no prior relationship experience) and the gnawing influence from the effect of his parent's marriage, which could have caused him to have unhealthy aversion to commitment and marriage.

But because I am not her, I cannot decipher his personality based on words, to conclude that this is a significant possibility - it is just a possible thing.

If he is lying:

My question is why not? Why can't he? He could have benefited much from lying, don't you agree?

(I) Why could anyone blatantly declare 'I like you, but sorry I don't love you,' even before the chase begin?

yunhaier: The cruel truth is that he wants enjoy the 'fruits' of a relationship without having to 'pay' commitments towards it. In order to achieve that, he creates a 'position' to indemnify himself from 'charges' or label of a bastard by putting his stand for the outcome of this 'relationship' first at hand. Obviously if she accepted the proposal, there wouldn't even be any responsible to talk about because he eliminated it from this game of love.

(II) I believe he is an honest man - but in Love, we are talking about another dimension of our characters. I have seen people... good people... who turned out to be maniac in love.

And if he was lying, you may think what good does he gain to reveal himself as 'no-gf' before?

yunhaier: To appear untainted and elevate himself to a 'chaste' image. So that his action will not seem like a 'professional' player and her resistance to him is greatly reduced. This will probably induce her mind to think likewise - as if he is incapable of such evil acts.

(III) He have known her for three years and why only the pursue recently? Previously he has no feelings? Only liking all these while? Sure? Considering that they knew each other for three years and he claims that he hasn't got a gf before? And that liking never developed and only discovered two months ago?

yunhaier: karmic relationship from planetary transition strikes in your friend's birth chart, causing Uranus to activate sudden moves. He may somehow think that your friend could be an easy victim, especially worse if he knew about her past. (You mentioned that they got emotionally close and obviously if people with ill intention understood certain logics behind her blueprint in love, they could actually tap on them to utilize it to their own advantage).

Therefore, considering both 'what if' - my guess is that he may not be lying completely, but he may not be entirely truthful or even honest with what he has presented himself to be.

A possible mask... a facade.

P.S: Always be careful of people who present strange proposal of love that contributes suffering or unfulfillment. You may not be able to judge the book by its cover, but you can roughly tell how much it will cost.

Cheers