Originally posted by babyreyes:
He says he loves me. But i dont really feel it. After being neglected for a few months, he kinda hinted for a breakup. And his reason was due to me being unhappy all the time. Well i was very upset with his coldness and neglience. haix. Upon knowing it, he agreed to a patch up.
But things still seem the same. Rather stagnant. Haix.He blows hot n cold on me. Almost every wkends, he spends his time at home and with his family. He seem rather into his online games n family gatherings as compared to me. Oh gosh. sigh.
iM kinda dislike going out with his family coz i dont click with them. He knows tat. And felt tat it wasnt a problem at all. =.-""
I told him tat he is neglecting me. And he said tat playing games is his hobby.He did rather play games than chat with me on the phone. Argh. Now we hardly meet each other. = /
Most of the time, im the one talking. He belongs to the quiet type. So when im not in the mood to talk, we will have a cold atmosphere.
Sometimes i feel tat im happier with my frens than him. haix.
Your guy seemed to be suffering from a common male-relationship style disorder known as Overgrown Baby in CloUdiSm context. His deep rooted parental influence is affecting his way of leading his OWN relationship, somewhat nonchalant towards different expressive mote of affection to his girlfriend. He may belong to a very traditional or sheltered type of family. To him, it isn't zero love, neither is it shyness or similar - in fact, it is more like a very passive way of continuing his relationship without understanding WHY in the first place. In his mind, he would be thinking 'Ok what, we are not quarrelling, so what's wrong?'
The masculine side is usually expected to play the initiator role in courtship, to inject romance and blossom the Love. However, once gotten into the relationship, the masculine side may apparently appeared to be 'slacken' in his expression of Love and affection, while in actual fact, what happens is that the play of romance is usually transformed into other more substantial qualities LIKE responsibility, financial side of a relationship, etc. Affection is there, but in altered dimension.
What happens to your boyfriend is complete INDIVIDUAL life, while trying on a RELATIONSHIP. Notice how these two words don't actually mix - he became like an overgrown baby, sit around and hope for the relationship to grow since both of you are already an item. Obviously, we all know relationship never work this way - but he persisted in his mindset, preferred to be spoon-feed than to work on the field of his relationship... taking advantage of being self absorb and you compromising, akin to that of a baby crying and having EVERYONE sayanging the little one.
Anyway, coping up too much at home is an unhealthy lifestyle, not only for the relationship, but also his personal growth as well. How much personal growth can one get by playing much online games and watching soccer the whole day? You are beginning to experience a reality check on how much sacrifice your boyfriend makes even for that little time to spend with you, instead of his boring schedule. We are not asking for abundance, but we are doing a reality check for how much is done for the relationship in name of Love.
Have you considered your relationship as one that has fallen into the clutches of a 'routinized relationship'? Mainly, surviving on reasons being Habit than the true identity of what your love may define? What is knowledge without implementation? Does KNOWING someone who has been neglected, due to self absorbing characteristic, enough reason to justify a patch back in the first place? Fault that was made...any effort to be corrected? It seemed that your reason to rekindle is solely based on emotional value you have for the relationship.
Your bf doesn't really understand the gravity of the situation which is causing the relationship to fail, more important, the side of YOUR tale, instead of 'I, Me and Myself.' I suggest you cease compromising and have a final communication with him. To me, you are merely delaying the inevitable: therefore, if possible throw him an ultimatum - more important, if it is getting nowhere, forget about these unhappy draggyness. Chances are, things won't improve until drastic measures are taken. And if you have to lose the relationship for him to LEARN something, then lose it.
Cheers
0 comments:
Post a Comment