Aunt Agony III 120905

Originally posted by -ohyeah-:
i regretted to mention break up to my ex.... now i wan to patch back.. the day me n him broke up... i also ask for patch back... but he refused past few days ( less than a week), i callled alternate days and he did ans.. n talked anything except relationship... I wan to patch back but how??

last nite, i had a good talk wif him... i asked him whether he still love me.. he replied he didnt have the time to think such issues... coz he everyday busy wif his army stuff.. and barely have enough sleep. deep my heart, after he said this, i knew he no longer love me...... Am I correct to say that?

I have told him once more that is it possible for us to get together HE said that if he said that it is possible or impossible, he knew i would wait... in the end, he said that if there is a chance, we will be together.. It depends on fate... i feel so sad.... :( :( :( i ask him that whether is it possible for us to get together in dec, he just replied that he dun know wat will happen in dec.. i feeling sad again....

he kept saying i was not the cause of the breakup, i knew he was trying not to make me feel guilty....the more he did it, the more i feel guilty

I smsed him that i will changed for a better person for his sake to make him accept me again. i will do it..

I feel he still care for me... but he is hurt by me....

my friend felt that i dun have to go to the extent to beg him to patch up.. but i was the one who broke up such relationship. He said the way i did it had lost all the woman's pride.
am i wrong to beg him??? i just feel that i have hurt this person, it is correct for me to do..... maybe i am such a shameful....



Cirumstances.

You are brought into a scenario where you causally issued the decree of break-up in a moment of folly... only to regret as soon as your order is given. You can never say you didn't have the time to consider about it because the minute you declare a break-up, regardless of how unintentional this declaration is, you have vividly created a huge chasm, dividing and widening the emotional distance.

Some people got closer after a break-up, but according to my experience, that is a sacrificial exchange of a temporary closeness, for some degree of damage to the relationship. Emotional intimacy is achieved through certain criteria, but definitely, a break-patch cycle is never part of it.

It is likely that you have wounded him somehow and brought him down to his knees, through the realization of how weak this relationship actually is, when he is serving his national liability. His despondent attitude is natural; he could never see himself standing on equal grounds with reality (or possible competitors) and fighting to salvage his relationship. His fatigued body and jaded emotions makes him feel so worn out.

Somehow, he would feel that even if he wants to give it another try, when similar thingy occurs, there is little he could do if you want to end the relationship.

This is belongs to an issue of understanding and empathy. He may need some time to think through things and you could also take this opportunity to reflect. There will definitely be a cool-down period; therefore decide after when the heat is gone.

Cheers