Aunt Agony IV 120905

Originally posted by tequila:
Please abvice me, i really need some abvice for my marriage....
Ok, i have been married for 10 months, my work require me to work on weekend and 6 day a week. My working hour is like from 11am to 10pm so it seems to be no life for me. My wife who works 5 day week, 8-5 job is always left alone hence i brought her a dog which she's been longing for it. Things goes on well until last month when she knew some guys in disco. She started to change. She stopped wearing her wedding band, took off her "married" status in friendster. The worse thing is she will meet up with them and came back at 5am or even in later hour. she will not answer my call when she's out or didn't even tell me where she's going when she went out. Last nite she went out and came back the next day at 11am. What is this?? She said i dun give her freedom and control her too much. Is there any guys will give such a freedom when your wife is telling ppl she's still single? We quarrelled a lot of times because of this. I'm really very devasted by the change she make.. I was actually thinking of divorce or separate for awhile and let her think what she wants as she told me she's not used to married life. What should i do?



I can't help but to think that she is not in a good position to get married, at least regarding the emotional aspects. She probably thinks that it is time to get married, but not exactly so in terms of maturity, mindset and everything else. This could be due to her ticking biological clock or external pressure like her parents.

The reason being very simple: a woman leading a married life the way she did during singlehood (which technically means unmarried life, not singlehood as in unattached), says alot of things. Sure, we don't go about restricting this and forbiding that, however, who in a stable state of emotional mind would go clubbing as often as one would do when one isn't married?

This alone question her grounds for marriage in the first place.

The following clues further reinforced my stand; denial of being married and its status.

Her priority ain't settled and is definitely not suitable for marriage.

***

Too bad, we can't reverse time - Since you have gotten her as your wife AND KNOWING that your marriage is creeping towards the edge of doom, trust me - if you give it enough time to mutilate, it's game over forever. You can put your continue to hang onto the job, but this decision almost guarantee a doomed marriage. Your wife already shown signs of infidelity and if this marriage means something to you, the least you could do is to prevent further hemorrhage.

But I must stress that changing a job DOESN'T GUARANTEE you that she will remain faithful to you, for Love cannot assimilate into the unwilling. But at least when you know you have did what you could, you will not look back and tell yourself why didn't you do this... do that...

P.S: Something to think about: which is more important to you?

Cheers