Aunt Agony II 270506 (yunhaier X MCsquare)

Originally posted by rikki:
There is a girl I knew, only for maybe like 3 months or so(I mean like actually start talking to her , making friends) . Although the time is really short, but the time we spent together is really a lot. At first, it was just a typical group going out thing. But after awhile, I began to find myself looking forward more and more to this kinda of outing we had, or rather I find myself looking forward to seeing her everyday. Some of you might think, Oh Its just the kind of love at first sight, or appearance love. But its not, everytime i see her. Im so happy, just merely looking at her makes me happy. And when she talks to me, her smile, Kindest. Touch, warmest. Everyday was like a happy day for me. We even talked on the phone almost everyday, we were really close. I wanted to remain the kind of Good friend relationship we had, because im afraid of rejection. Why am i afraid? Because its just so painful, that i actually could'nt get back on my feets everytime i got rejected, the thought of living was meaningless . In my life, I've only loved two girls, And when i said love. I really mean it, after my second rejection I thought that i did'nt wanted to love again, Like whoa how many setbacks can a man take? But then, i've found love again. This time , a greater one, so much that I could really die for the girl. You know in dramas when they said "I love her so much that i would really die for her" . Normally, its only bragging. But this time i really would boldy say, I would really die for her, i would do anything for her.

I find myself extremely devoted to this kind of love i had for her, I actually think about her every single second. Every where i go, i would think about her. Even when i went into a shop, if i see something cute or lovely, i would think of buying it for her, and i did.

And i love her not because she has the most beautiful face i've ever seen, Nor do i love her because of her never failing sunshine smile that she brought upon me. But I love her because i truely love her.

The problem now is, this love i had for her is too overwhelming, its overflowing, And i can't control it. I have to do something about it, I have to confess. But how? Im not trying to make myself sound pathetic or anything, but i would really not love again if this girl dies or anything, because i really cant find myself having feelings for anyone anymore because they are not her. I wanna ask her out one day, some day special. And i would wanna confess to her on that day, But how? How can i do it to make a sucessful one?


Originally posted by M©+square:
You remind me of someone whom i treasured alot. A male friend of mine.

He was always into his talk about his beaut. Claiming what he would have done for her and how much he loves her.
He likes to paint Airy Fairy tales around her. He'll describe how he'll reach out to her and fight for her if ever such incidents and scenario happens.
He'll weep and smile himself silly over the failed attempts(he withdrew his confess) and smile over those things he could do for her.

Sadly, he didn't understand what she wants in a guy.

My dear friend was a pathetic fool.
I understood my friend, how he felt, his tears and his hurts.

All his hot air jazz over becoming her hero became nothing. It became dust....worthless.



Ouch, but I had to agree with MCsquare.

You feared rejection so much, that if you were to break down your thoughts, you will realize somehow, you will do the darnest things that destroy your chance and fulfilled the condition for this rejection to take place again. It is a reiterated cycle because what and how we exude our love, comes from the condition inside of us.

You know why your emotions are so intense? (If you are Scorpio, then x2 to that amount)

Simply because it is SUPPRESSED emotions.

Hate to douse you in cold water, but it is not true love dude. It is love nevertheless, but it is overwhelming... overflowing because it is suppressed. You tried to brush it away and bring down the intensity of your love for her but it kinda backfire. What you did merely strengthen this wild energy of love and the more you tried to control, the more erratic it gets... until:

I) You are unable to control it and it runs berserk.

II) Fulfilled the self prophesy of rejection.

III) Repeat karmic cycle.

If you want love, then remove the fear of rejection. If your love cannot remove the fear of rejection, it will question your love instead.

Cheers