Aunt Agony 220506

Originally posted by olala:
I've some problems within and hope to get answers


lets call the gal,gal A
I'm 17 this year,when i was in sec 3,i fell for gal A in my class for mroe than a year
I did everything i could to court her..
I was very chldish in he past
u know,the usual smses and chit chat.giving get well cards and bdae gift
I got rejected continously for more than a year

however,the last straw came when last year she shot straight into my face telling me she dosent like short guys in a scarcastic manner
she too mentioned that I'm shorter than her[she juz got a bf at that time and purpose of me askign was to ask why i didnt stood a chance along]

as far as I know..i'm 1.7 and taller than her
I muz say shes not a bad gal but perhaps all this long courting has made her iritated so she wanted to be blunt
this was around dec2005
[she had an ex b4 and at that time i too was intrested in her but got rejected oso,thats was jan2005]
[her bf had sex with ex b4]

now its mid 2006 and i've given up
I've given up since 3 months back
now i felt happy for her decesion,perhaps i dun feel anything

however,i do see a tremendous change in me...negative


Now,inside me i hate this grudge against gals
a very strong hate[not extreme as in shuning them but holding a grudge against gals bcuz of what gal A have done

Whenever,I someone who i think i'll b intrested,I tell myself not to initial anything with her[eg.trying to get closer]
Also,when other gals tried to express intrests in me,i'll try to ignore and juz let them fade off
it's like i'm hanging on to my ego
In the past,i've tried so hard courting a gal but in the end i got slam striaght in the face and not the mention that her bf had sex with ex's b4
This made me felt unfair that such a bastard is able to get a nice gal

now of corse this whole experiences has made me grow
but the growth stem from the bitterness and hatred towards the opposite gender which has made me realise how unfair this world is
Now,i'm juz someone who dosent want to get into a relationship[suppose i'm intrested in another gal] bcuz of what have happen and a guy who places material and acheivement in utmost importance
whenever i thought
of courting another gal,my pride comes into the pic and then i'll juz tell myself this is juz another abc relationship that'll juz eventually not work out juz lyk what happen to most other ppl

Of course the feeling of beign is love is honey
but the state i'm in and my past seem to forbade me from getting to know other gals on a relationship level

what i'm seekign here is not the'since she dun like u,move on'
cuz i've already mvoe on but it comes with the negative changes
I'm no longer the childish kid who laugh all day but one whos mature to a leve of placing $ and work b4 play to the extreme[i'm probaly even more mature than her in terms of thinking']


Anyone can tell me whats the reasons regarding the change in me?
i need serious and mature answers
i no longer smile much now and the large circle of friends i have,i only chose some which are worthy and hangout with.

btw I'm aquarius and born on 14/2/89


During this difficult phrase of picking up your broken pieces and moving on, it is almost critical how you handle your emotions and the aftermath of any lessons taught by life because it WILL determine how you will be faring in love and your absolute attitude towards it.

Your ego is blatantly wounded when she rejected your affection by claiming that you were too short for her. It doesn't matter whether you were indeed too short (1.7 is still fine imho), because her words cuts your ego savagely like a mindless zombie. Your mind tried to ward off the incoming attack by installing a psychological defensive mechanism to restore that esteem balance she had greatly decimated.

Your misogynist attitude is a by-product of a piercing rejection which you took it personally. One likely scenario could be; chances are, your friends may have dissuade you from chasing her, but you probably turn on deaf ear until she had to destroy that blinded ego of yours to convey that message directly. If you were to reflect objectively, you would have realise that she might have rejected you, however subtlety it may seemed, but your pressuring love merely brush away that notion.

Your desire to amass materialistic power is a change to rebuilt your self worth. It's a very common transformation in Love (especially man), whenever their self worth is being questioned, regarding their personality or when in Love. Money represent power and because you have failed to secure the object of your affection, somehow, it seemed that you could have 'more power' through 'more money'.

So what if you could own the world but loses your soul?

Love is a free spirit that cannot be bounded by any artificial earthly powers. Its beauty can only be attracted and not postulated by some imperative manner.

Your self worth is in a blur, caused by a huge devastation of your falling ego. And this is the crucial moment when you make a choice between:

I) Rejuvenate your soul to explore the meaning of Love and gradually move on the advanced and higher study of Love.

II) Reject the lessons presented to seek your own path.

Aquarius, the water bearer, and it make you a natural thinker. In Love, you are intellectually stimulated, but you must guard against degenerative thoughts that is self destructive because you are so mentally influenced/triggered (and your quality being fixed), that negative thoughts affect you far more insidious than the other signs (applicable Gemini and Libra as well).

P.S: I was once at this cross road of life, to become a fcuking player or to become what I am now. I took the latter road and there are several personal reasons why I did so. Still, it didn't banish the fact that we are all ruled by choices on the kind of attitude we want to adopt in Love.

This is the time to be spiritually enlightened. Explore your religion if you have or if you have none, you could study astrology like myself.

Cheers