Aunt Agony II 200506

Originally posted by Ray87:

i chance upon some psychology article which talks about the motivations in life.
In the article, i learnt that humans have various needs to fulfil and in order to satisfy these needs, human do certain things and behave in a certain way. I was interested to find out more because the content may help me explain a question which has been bothering me. I wanted to know why am i fickle-minded at times though i'm a person who hates people who are fickle-minded.

After reading the article, i understand that sometimes i was motivated to get into a relationship because i feel lonely and wanted companionship. But as soon as i found another direction in life and felt less lonely, i will start to lose interest in dating the gal i like. And so i realised that many times i was motivated to get into a relationship to satisfy my own need, which i think was selfish, because as soon as the need is gone, i lost interest. I'm glad that i have yet hurt any gal deeply because i haven gone into a relationship.

I dun want to feel guilty hurting someone because of my selfish motivation to overcome loneliness(which is transitory), therefore i concluded that getting into a relationship is quite meaningless. I know that there are many fallacies in my argument. So i posted this question and hope that someone can point it out explicitly.


That's why... Love is Mutual and it has to be mutual before it can be fulfilling.

Yes, crudely put, you are into a relationship because of certain needs, but trust me: Love is beyond mere companion. When you are beginning to understand Love, you will see that it is beyond companionship or simply 'someone' to be there (and if you looked closely, that definition sounded more like a good friend, than a BGR). You need to have two separate person with needs and compatibility that complement each other like North and South pole of a magnet, then the relationship makes sense to you.

It has to be mutual... a contact that is willing, by two parties, to be bounded by the webs of love.

You are putting too much 'mental' energy into thinking what Love is, without learning and experiencing what Love means to you. I always say this: there is only so much you can think about Love, the rest is through experience. And experience is gain from bad judgement.

Cheers