Aunt Agony II 201105

Originally posted by rammstein619:
It's been quite some time since I last broke up with my ex and I feel that I've already given myself enough "cooling time" , 6 months to be precise and I've decided to play the dating game once again....


Of course I have someone in mind and her Os are gonna be over in 3 days time but there's just one main problem which I should be most concerned about. There's this guy who has been chasing her for the past 2 years but to avail. From what I've heard so far , the last time he confessed his feelings for her , she rejected him nicely and she being open minded enough , accepted him back as a normal friend and it seems that he still hasn't stop in his pursuit for her heart. Right now the girl I like and him are close friends. The thing is , he is ahead of me by a lot of steps assuming that he still intends to pursue her.
Being open minded for a girl like her , she lets him send her home on some occasions , goes out with him but all is done within the constrains of a friendship and nothing more than that....

Basically I find it kinda hard to even arrange a group outing with her as she has her own schedules which I respect but all I'm hoping now is a series of group outings to make me get to know her better. I'm not eyeing for love or a relationship from her currently but at this moment , I regard her as someone whom is worth getting to know more about. He still has the hots for her and hangs out with her often since they stay near each other. Since I've known her for 2 years , one might say that I don't even need a group outing to woo her but over this period of 2 years , it's like I try to woo her for 2-3 months , then stop and then woo her again and then stop. Whenever I stop wooing is because I find it so hard just to even get to know her better given how much dedication she puts into her studies and that's why I'm banking on this period of time since It's after the O levels to get to know her better.

Okay back to that guy....

I think I'm quite good in anticipating his moves towards her. Take for example , when it was her birthday and a few hours before I was to meet her to give her present , I saw his MSN nick which read something like this , "I'm going out to study". Being an analytical and proactive person ,
I already had this damn strong feeling inside that he would also be there even though my friend refused to listen to my crap , in the end HE WAS INDEED THERE....
To cut a long story short , I gave her the present , waved and said "Hi" to him and left. Caught him telling his friend who was with him some stuff about me which kinda pissed me off a bit but that doesn't really bother me much.


So basically , how do I deal with a love competitor?

I've read in love books that the best way to win a girls heart with a love competitor is to be yourself which I really intend to be. By being yourself , there will always be a chance that that love competitor seeing me as a threat , forces himself to confess his feelings for her which 99.99% ends up in a rejection for whatever strange masculine reason he might have. Can anybody please enlighten me on how to deal with a love competitor? Your comments are very much appreciated....

Or should I just extent my "line of sight" to keep my options open?


Maybe it is just me (Or because of my Moon in Aries). I love competitions in the chase. I feel that if there isn't any competition in the chase, you are only experiencing half the deal. And the process should be more important than the result itself (that is to be with her). Don't be mistaken, I am NOT an aggressive lover and is more than willing to accept my Love's decision if it wasn't me. But because only through others, you see a bigger picture and your learning expand.

Being yourself is far to general to help you on anything. How is being yourself going to help you win the girl of your dreams? The key is to understand yourself... your strength/weakness analysis and using them to improve your advantage to secure your love. If you don't even understand yourself well enough, how do you even know what weapons to employ in love's warring field?

I will explain your situation through a marketing context.

What you are attempting to do is to somehow... persuade this customer (your love) to:

I) See you in different light and probably give you the chance to explore your 'brand'.

II) Gradually accept and see your 'brand' as premium.

III) Purchase your product (your love).

She isn't a loyal customer of your competitor. Like what you have mention, she is merely keeping an open mind to him. And it also goes to show that she will be receptive of new 'brands' like yourself. Since she isn't a loyal customer, it would be easier for her to do a 'switch' of 'brands', if the condition is right and there are REASONS why she should do it.

Having more 'advertisement exposure' (meeting her personally, chat on phone, sms, email, MSN, etc), doesn't necessary make him a superior brand and MORE importantly, doesn't mean that what your competitor is trying to sell to her... is what she is looking for AND form part of her needs.

Haven't we met enough salesman, trying all means to sell us their products that has little use to us? Or worst, not a need at all? They can go about blabbering all the positive usage of their product, but because we don't need them... we don't see a reason to part our cash (and in your case, her Love).

A good sales person understands his/her customer (your love) well. More often than not, people feel good making a purchase from a good salesman, not just his product. There is a relationship beyond that of a buyer and seller context. The service they provide makes a difference between all other products or 'brand' (Love).

Do you understand yourself well enough to package yourself in such a way that your strength is position in a manner where it is exactly what she is looking for in a guy?

This is to sell yourself... by being yourself.

Cheers