Aunt Agony II 061105

Originally posted by tsubasa82:
Went on a date with a gal a month ago. Everything was great, and we had sex after that. But after the sex, she told me that she only broke off with her bf like 2 mths before we got together. She's not ready for a relationship yet.
So i told her i'll wait till she's ready.

However, she started to become cold towards me when we're in front of friends. I felt that something's not right. Last monday, she told me to give up on her. She said i still don't understand her, but how am i supposed to understand her when she always try to avoid me? I've been trying to talk to her, but she doesn't respond. And she said that we're not suitable and i'm not her type. It's really like WTF.

I asked her why she had sex with me, was i just a substitute. She said that i hurt her by saying that. She did it with me because she really like me that time. But then it's like only 1 month ago.
Now, in front of friends i have to behave as if i'm alright. But deep down inside, i'm really devastated. It really didn't matter to me whether we had sex or not, i really like her.

I really don't know what to do. It's like quite impossible for me to be with her again.


She might have learnt that her Love for you isn't substantial. Perhaps it may only be liking or even using you as a substitute, but one truth remains: not ready for a relationship begins not after the sex part, rather, it existed all these while.

When one undergo an emotional turmoil from a failed relationship, there is a great tendency to seek emotional dependency from others. What happened is that we try to restore whatever damage our failed BGR has dealt to us, using other channels to redirect our emotional focus so that we could allow time to repair what is necessary. We want life as 'normal' as how we perceive what 'normal' means to us. You see people start hanging out with friends, indulge in new hobbies, bury themselves in books, work OT or even attempting to try out new Love partner to displace their past.

Sex probably provoked her thoughts deeper - about her own feelings. She might have gained certain thoughts that render her the inability to accept you into a relationship with her. Clouds of doubts began to disperse from her befuddled heart and she gradually began to understand more about herself. This understanding is the reason of her rejection.

Cheers