Aunt Agony 091105

Originally posted by chong-ster:
i got to know this gal abt half a year ago... everything was fine btw us, and we were v close, but she told me she didnt want to get into a relationship for the next month or two. i was fine with it, and never bugged her to be with me or whatsoever.

she's been telling me she yearns to be with me, she wants to be my partner, but deep down inside, i think she doesnt mean it.

abt a month ago, she left me, and i knew it was because of a guy. but she claimed it wasnt because of him and she had no feelings for him. but i knew she was lying, because my friends saw them out, and told me abt it. i also read her text messages sent to/from him... she told him she missed him, missed his hugs/kisses etc...

i asked her about it indirectly (not telling her that i read her msgs) but she still claimed that she'd already given him up because she only feels for me. not long ago, she again, told me she loved me, but just today, i read her messages again, and she sent one to him. saying that she wanted to meet him for a while, to lock lips....

many times i told myself to hate her and move on, but everytime she talks to me or appears in front of me, i'll just hopelessly fall in love with her again. i know its bad of me to read her text messages, but... i just couldnt help it at all.

i dont know why she still come up with lies to keep me with her, when so obviously she also wants to be with the guy too. maybe its because she wants the best of both worlds. i know i hate her for doing this. and many times i've told myself to hate her to the core, but i just can't.

she knows i've given her my best and almost everything i have.. but she still doesnt want to be with me. im fine with it.. but which guy can accept a girl who keeps another guy with her too????

maybe im just hopeless and dead stupid.


You are deeply in Love with your own imagination... in the seas of delusion. Facts has already shown you the TRUTH, but because delusion is so powerful and kept you overwhelmed, every time when she employed deception through blatant lies - your mind CHOSE to believe those lying words because you think and feel that even if there is only 1% chance of it being the truth, that is still a possibility.

In astrology, this is what happens when Neptune gets afflicted - people get deluded and choose to dwell in those illusions.

If logics could save you, you would have already been saved.

Chances are, you are reluctant to release yourself off this bondage. You create an opening to introduce wounds into your heart and you refuse to patch the vulnerability.

Good scolding? You don't need to... and in fact, no amount of words would suffice.

What you need is to hurt yourself more... until the day when you realise that this 1% hope you are clinging on, is no more than just a false hope. You would only understand what it means by it was never meant to be right from the start... if you choose to leave where you are standing forever and never to return.

To return is to discover that you running in circles, back to where you are.

P.S: If this current emotional pain is not enough deter you, then ripped the wounds wider... until you are able to see reality.

Cheers