Aunt Agony II 101206

Originally posted by tiredcapricorn:
Hi, i am new to this forum. Just got dumped by my gf of half a year and need some advice.
The reasons she dumped me was because she felt our interests are different, we quarrel quite often and her parents do not like me. She can't forget some of the things i said when we quarrelled previously and dwells on it.

She feels i treat her very well (when we are not quarrelling) and she still has 'some' feelings for me. She says she is not seeing any one else and there is no one courting her. I know she is not lying as i know her lifestyle very well which makes it even harder to accept as i feel her reasons are not valid. I have apologised for the things i said when i was angry.

I thought she needed a cooling period so i waited for two weeks before asking to patch back with her but she refuse and only wants to be friends with me. Even as friends, she does not want to go out with me any more.
Because of this my performance at work suffered and i even got called up by my boss as i can't concentrate and made many mistakes at work. I fell into depression and started drinking to try to stop thinking of her.

I can't forget her even though this happened over a month already, probably because we work together. Can't forget something you see everyday. She will still care for me when she see me moody at work. I thought about resigning but decided it is not worth it and i asked her if she could resign since she was the one who initiated the breakup and put me through so much pain. She refused and we had a big quarrel. I did something quite drastic to make her and me hate each other so now we can't patch back again. We don't even talk when we meet in office. Actually i regreted burning bridges with her but she was heartless to me first.

Should i quit my job or stay on? How to move on from a relationship that just failed because of some arguements?


You fall for an office relationship - you faced the consequence of your decision.

I felt the same as bbb; I thought it was utterly selfish of you to request her to quit her job, merely to keep you emotionally sane. From your words, apparently, she actually kept it professional and didn't mind facing you at work even if you two are no longer an item.

You are emotionally unevolved - perhaps if you cannot handle this, you could take a period of unpaid leave or simply quit your job. Nobody is responsible for your misery, even if she is the one who initiated the break-up - you deal directly with your emotions... others don't.

Next time, avoid office relationship if you can't handle the aftermath of failure.

Cheers