Aunt Agony 011206

Originally posted by binarynwitz:
I just broke up with my girlfriend, who we've been together for about 1.5 years.

Her reason for the breakup is because she has too much responsibilities. Because her family financial situation is not good, she needs to work, to help out in the family. She feels that she would have no time for a relationship.

However, she did say to use this separation to rethink about our relationship. We have a lot of differences; different interests, and stuff like that.

When I went to her house to pass her birthday gift to her (we broke up three days before her birthday), she seemed to be rather glad to see me. That's how I feel, at least.

But after prom tonight, perhaps she's tired, but she seems to detest my presence. I offered to wait with her while her brother comes, but she said, "nevermind". Maybe I shouldn't have persisted, but well, I did. She then said, "up to me", but she was rather cold.

I don't know what I should do. My mind tells me to move on, while my heart tells me to persist on. Maybe you all might call me foolish, or stupid, but I believe she is the one for me.

Any opinions?

P.S. and yes, I'm ONLY sixteen.




When we are young and we made our first fall in love, things are usually kept innocent and simple. We are not exposed to the chaotic vibes of society and haven’t gained mastery of our emotions - we are easily wounded... raw damage.

Reality sinks in when we lead those relationship - contrary to mass belief, the core elements of leading the relationship is about the same, be it at sixteen or thirty six. Personality conflicts strike in any incompatible relationship and sometimes, it's not just about having the desire to work on the indifferences, at times, it may seemed that we have no viable manner to resolve it and people usually do not know how to convey such a feeling/situation to the other party.

The family financial plight is but a euphemist for incompatibility break up. When we are young, we do not even understand our own feelings (some people never do for their entire life) and when we come across those seemingly complex emotions, we do not know how to handle nor translate them into words. The easiest way to achieve the desired result is to employ another reason that will produce the same result - and in your case, it's the family burden on her.

If we were to shift our perception a little; if she is having such a hard time, shouldn't she be needing more emotional support instead of removing whatever source of support she originally has? (Of course, unless this relationship is terribly intense, it makes sense to remove you as you become her source of emotional burden and does not contribute as a form of support).

Sometimes, when we discover that somebody isn't quite the somebody we are looking for gradually... (worst if there isn't any major flaw in him/her), we may either make use of some irrelevant excuses or remain put with the relationship for meaningless reason.

You may like to allow a period of time to pass before you decide on your route to undertake. I believe that could do you well to ease the current confusion, and you could also uncovered more on the actual REASON why she opt to leave the relationship with the passing of time when you do some communication later on - because I reckon that it's likely the phenomenon written in my third paragraph.

Cheers