Aunt Agony 160906

Originally posted by vgal:
Monday: 6:45pm. i juz left my office (in town) on the way home. When i was reaching home, he msg me, asked to meet up in town at 8pm cos he is very far away from town. i said ok. i went back to town. In the end he took cab n reached town at 7:40. but i reached town late cos i decided to take bus cos i thought i got a lot of time as he take bus n train needs an hour. but there is a jam and i arrived at 8pm).

i went buy dinner wait for him at Mac. he arrived and we started eating. I juz asked casually, how come u din tell me u take cab, if u did, i would have taken train then u dun have to wait. And he flared up. Gave me a black face and asked me why dun i tell him i took bus instead!? I said ya, maybe i could have told u too lah. then he was still very angry, we had a squabble over dinner. He stood up and juz left!

Why is he like that? over such trivial matter?

We didnt talk on tues. He msg me he missed me on wed.

He msg me to meet up last nite, i said ok. asked me to stay over at his place.

thurs 9pm. we had dinner, then i was watching tv. when tv ended at 10, i went study to find him. he was eatin instant noodles. and i teased him "secertly hide here eat instant noodles". we hugged and kissed. i said i wait for u to watch the rented dvd? he said ok. then i thought he lookd angry. i asked why you so angry. he said he couldnt load some software. so i said i wait for u in the room? he said ok.

he came over, and we made love. we hugged and watched dvd. when dvd ended, he behaved oddly. i asked him if he is unhappy. he said why should he be unhappy. i said i dunno, juz concerened lor, so juz asked.

He flared up again. Then say why muz i say he is unhappy and angry? why muz i say he secretly eating instant noodles?

i explained: "secretly eating instant noodles" was juz a joke. why would he dun let me eat anyway? why i asked if he is unhapy or angry was juz bcos he looked unhapy and i cared.

He flared up and asked me to go home. that was 1:30 am.

He juz messaged me early in the morning to tell me something about his past which was not consistent with what he had told me b4. and so i told him wat he told me b4 and said im confused. you know wat he said?


"Do you need to probe into my past with his wife on how they ended up divorce............... Actually do u realise u r a very probing person? Fact is i dun like people to probe esp when i din do anything wrong."

i replied " u msg me early in the morning to confuse me and tell me im probing when i clarified? Dont want me to ask then dun confuse me and then tell me im probing later."

him: do u need to get so affected? it doesnt even concern u directly. N do u need to be so detail to want to know everything?

Hell no! he contradicts and expect me not to clarify? and when i clarify, accusing me of probing and want to know everything? Aint this unfair??!?!


I recalled an old theory written in CloUdiSm ages ago (I think I will put a name to it someday and probably reclassify it under third Law of CloUdiSm) - it's about how people, who thought that they have been through much in Love, refusing to renew lessons and insisting on resuming where they previously left, despite being very unevolved.

We got to understand that a new relationship is a whole new experience, regardless of how vivid our past was. Loving your ex-girlfriend/wife is certainly different from loving your current one (Synastry explains this through different energies coming from different natal chart) But sometimes (especially so for divorced/separated cases or BGR of many years) because our emotions become so jaded and sombre, that we refuse to restart. We thought that we have invested so much over the years, only to find it a failure at the end of the day, therefore we must resume where we left and reluctant to begin all over again.

You see, chances are, you don't have to begin 'all over again' - you just need to begin from where your flaws surface and work hard on them. And for some people, that probably means the very beginning because this is how they have handled their relationship all through their life. And when you snowball this phenomenon, you can roughly guess how 'unmarriageable' he is because much unevolved personalities will prevent/hinder them to achieve a fulfilling relationship.

Man usually won't talk much about their failed relationship to the next woman of their life, especially so if the problems lies with them. Because it is not glorious and is a raw punch to their esteem. Sometimes, he just doesn’t want to be reminded about this hidden self of his and continue to reiterate the behaviour subconsciously. In the end? He faces the same music and consequence all over again. He fails and fails, until he enlightens himself.

When I was young, probably about four- six years old, I have foul temper (Moon in Aries) and often beat up my older brother. When after I reached Primary school at seven, I self taught emotional control and reason with myself how futile it is to hit someone.

Then it became a past.

I overcome the subject of temper at the age of seven. And using myself as a measure scale; is your man willing to humble himself to explore his untouched emotions and learn what life has to teach him? Even if he has to 'return' to as young as seven and learn what I was learning back them?

If you want this relationship to work, you got to evolve him. And for that to happen, you have to reach inside of him and lift him out. He may or may not allow you to do that, but you could probably try. Be prepare for conflicts because your man will resist against your attempt and chances are, you may perish from trying and give up altogether, like what his ex-wife probably felt when she signed the divorce documents.

If you don't want to shoulder this burden, you may want to reconsider your decision in the near future.

P.S: If you want love somebody, grow along with him - have him/her walk beside and not behind you.

Cheers