Aunt Agony 190906

Originally posted by Haoz30:
I hope no one involved in the following reads what I'm gonna write...

I've just broken up with my girl of 6 years. We've been thru a lot of things in these past 6 years. Things like deaths of close relatives, sickness, my NS life and much more drama. We have always been there for each other in times of need. The bond we share is remarkable. Everyone who knows abt us thinks that we will be together and ever, happily ever after. I thought so too...

Things got rocky recently. An idiot (A) tried to go after my ex, knowing that she's attached with a BF of 6 yrs. Stirred up plenty of shit, did not have the guts to admit to his mistakes, got his friend (B)to stand up for him. Is a very long story, I'll just cut everything short.

My ex broke up with me 2 mths ago. But 1 mth after that break up, we still behaved like a couple. I was trying to win back the confidence she had in me. Then 2 weeks ago, she called me and told me that we should draw a line, she needed to find herself back and think what she really wanted. I agreed. The next day while I was with her, her HP rang. Caller ID showed "BB". I knew something was wrong so i questioned her. She finally admitted that she's attached now, with (B)! I was very heart broken, this is the first time in 6yrs she had ever lied to me.

The reason why we broke up is because she feels that I don't give her enough concern and love. And I've been a great disappointment to her, which is kinda true. I'm 24 this yr and I'm still studying for a diploma. She feels neglected and thinks that I'm not making effort for myself and her.

The problem now is, my friends have heard my story and are asking me to move on. But there's a part inside me that refuses to let go... I do not know if she really do love him. She did mentioned that she might be accepting this guy now cause she's been really hurt by me, but she also mentioned that at least she feels happy and treasured now.

I have so many plans of the future involving her. I do not know if she's really in love with him or not. Another concern is, even if she doesn't come back to me anymore, I do not wish to see her get hurt by this guy again. She's been hurt by me bad enough already. This guy is a hypocrite. Everyone know that. If u guys are interested, I'll go on to tell the story abt him.

Im really confused. Should I let go or not? I know from the bottom of my heart, that I really still love her very much. And she IS the one for me....

ps: sorry bout the super long story.... :


If a man is able to slip into her life effortlessly and managed to wreck so much havoc in your relationship, it probably means that your relationship isn't very stable as you previously thought it to be. Six years? So what? In the end, its very defeat was exploited through various vulnerabilities this love had in the first place and abnegate your royal throne.

You provided an excellent reasoning for yourself to retain in the past, hoping to get her back - you believed that it was a moment of folly for her and one day she will return.

I cannot be sure about her returning, but I am sure that even if the woman should return, nothing will be the same anymore.

In the end, although you can be sure that she is THE ONE for you, but you can never be sure if you are THE ONE for her.

I am not saying that the other man is a better alternative to you, but a truly satisfied woman cannot be seduced. A long, drudgery relationship will wear and tear eventually... especially when love dissolved into habits. We always thought that things are going well, until when catalysis is introduced, we realise our anaemic our relationship is.

P.S: Should you not let go, you action doesn't stop her from moving on in life. And quoted by Alexkusu, (I believe he quote my past reply):

[quote]Originally posted by Yunhaier:
...If you wish to dwell in this any longer, you will probably become stagnant, while she enjoyed her new path in life. It may not necessary be a fulfilling relationship, but certainly, it will bring her new destination in love and life. [/quote]

Cheers