Originally posted by blueberryjam:
its been a 8mths relationship.. more downs than ups. he's a sweet guy, very true. he used to be a flirt, but he changed already, i believed. things were going great. but we dont allow each other to be with the oppo sex, we're both easily jealousy kinda people.. very sensitive. as he used to twotime girls, i really dunno what made me fall for him, at times i regret it so, at times i don. we both lack the mutual trust very badly.. and thus, the security level is not met.
we quarrel very oftenly, sweet times were pretty short. we would meet one night, have fun, go back, things were still alright, till next morning, in school.. sure got things to quarrel again. i dunno what happened to him recently. he is a totally changed man. my frens asked me to just break and leave him, i've been thinking about it, its hard.. i know i sure can live without him.. but we have lessons together and things will be so awkward.. each time i see him, im sure memories will be back again..
the problem now is that.. he changed... suddenly i dunno wat came over him, he talks in that irritating tone like.. attitude liddat.. i didnt even do anything wrong.. he jus keeps finding faults with me.. im really tired.. i asked him if he still loves me, he said yes. and that he is finding faults with me deliberately. i asked him why, he replied 'don bother'.. then this morning i sent him an sms, kinda like to sweettalk him, i apologised even though i dunno wat i did.. i told him im really confused (as few days ago we were talkin abt breaking up).. i miss him alot and that he is my one and only. guess what he replied?? just a "whatever.." hais.. i dunno wat to reply him.. we're not smsing anymore...
im really confused... i was thinkin of ending this once and for all.. but... life's gonna be hard without him.. i'll miss him so much.... he's given me more than what i wanted... he's the greatest love of my life... we used to quarrel and then made up the next day.. but this time.. his attitude really pissed me off and it's been a week.. i dunno what to do.. can anyone advise me?? hais...
What makes you think that he has changed overnight and NOT returning back to his usual self? He hasn't changed abit, he's merely being himself, isn't it?
I always ask this favourite question whenever people dated known flirts (first began on my tudi) - considering the whole list of ex-es, what makes you think you would be the one who will change him/her? Everyone before you tried and failed (or couldn't be bothered), so what are the chances?
These people may change eventually, but if you want to be the ONE who initiate the movement, you have to satisfy certain criteria and alot of emotional endurance. To the common folk, such criteria would probably be deem as 'luck', but it is actually more than that and that would include heavily on the topic of AOS. IMHO, there are only two reasons why nothing works:
I) You are part of the statistic. You behave and mimic the same psychological and emotional feel of all his past gf. You are not any different and in fact, just like them. You can't change him because your predecessor failed as well.
II) Astrologically speaking, you wouldn't be the one who change him. Someone had to provide him with the hard lesson and that person may not be you.
CloUdiSm warned of such relationship, especially when you are viewing and handling it in a form of a serious, committed relationship (of course, it doesn't matter if you are also a player in this game of love). The default law states: 'Avoid first as it's better to be the second.' The person who changed the player isn't always the person he/she will end up with - very likely, it's the second candidate.
P.S: If he wants to remain hostile to you, what kind of love do you foresee? Remember, it's not you - it's him. Love cannot assimilate into the unwilling and if he doesn't want the relationship AND treat it like he doesn't want, then forget it. The power of love can create wonders, but it only reserve for hearts who desire to see its magic.
Cheers
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