I recalled one old theory, which yunhaier came across years ago...about Fantasy.
And before I begin, what's YOUR definition of The One?
What and who sets the definition of The One in you?
Very often, sometimes, it is either the woman/man you can't have or its your first love. The reason is because for people you never had - it's the jubliant love, affection and warmth that your emotions first brought forth. However, its such feelings are young, untested in face of challenges and difficulty - like a baby, undaunted by anything because he has yet to walk the path that could make him learn reality.
This applies to your first love as well - because you never knew what Love is like before, your first Love sets the benchmark on what Love feels like. If this is in conjunct with the above scenario as well (namely, people whom you never had and belongs to your first love), this will be a lasting impact.
Eventually, we thought that he/she is the ONE we loved the most, but actually, they are the one that created the first (not neccessary the most) impact, not exactly being loved the most. We kept thinking this way, until the wavering emotions became a false truth... we realise that we fall in love with a Fantasy Figure, because it is easier to face a Fantasy Figure WHOM is so perfect in our imagination... than to venture into the reality, which seemed so cruel. Everything seemed different in reality... people are unable to match to the 'standard' of our Fantasy Figure, fall short of being perfect.
We begin to equate that Fantasy Figure as our Perfect Love or the person we loved the most. You got to realise, sometimes, it's not the constant figure in our mind, who COULD represent the one whom we loved the most. This is infact a mistake and cost alot of invisible damage to our current relationship we are having now.
In Tarot, it is signified by the Major Arcana card 'The Fools'. The young chap, who have just decide to embark his new life journey. He is inexperience and greenhorn, but is filled with the promise of having a better life out there where he would be venturing.
How do we know? Not exactly, but our first journey (relationship) pave the FIRST crossroad of personality, character and especially our raw emotional state. It will shape and mould our mindset, based on what happened and how we deal with the experience. Some people have very screwed-up first relationship, then they adopt a very negative mindset and attitude towards love and relationship. THIS will serve to implicate their future until they exercise the essential wisdom to understand why have they landed here. Some people found no answer because they are slow to enlightenment and people around them ain't helpful to hasten the effect of letting them see certain unseen dimensions.
We are reinforced by our early childhood, psychological state AND enviromental factor.
There are six individual levels, being eternal students of Love. (This has NOTHING to do with your chronological age).
Infant
Toddler
Child
Adolescent
Teenager
Adult
Although I have yet to translate this six levels, which came from Linda Goodman, into CloUdiSm format.
The latter six comes during your marriage:
Marriage: I balance. Teaches love as beauty and learns love as harmony.
Sex: I desire. Teaches love as passion and learns love as surrender.
Knowledge: I see. Teaches love as honesty and learns love is loyalty.
Experience: I use. Teaches love as wisdom and learns love as unselfish.
Idealism: I know. Teaches love as tolerance and learns love as Oneness.
Submission: I believe. Teaches love is compassion and learns love as All.
P.S: Learn to love every relationship like 'The One', only then, you are able to release the lock, which hinder your potential relationship from blossoming. The actual concept of 'The One' is but a spiritual theory in Love, which is altogether, a different topic.
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