Aunt Agony 080705

quote:
Originally posted by rammstein619:

What you said is indeed true to a large extent but although I would more than happy to return the kiss but there's always a risk where it gets out of hand. You can say that I'm a proactive kind of person. Whenever I decide on something especially important decisions , I always visualise of the possible outcome should I say YES or NO.

Alright this may sound stupid but I'm 17 and my ex is 15. First things first , she's a minor and the Singapore law protects women especially the minors. Actually I've been searching high and low for a website similar to the "Aunt Agony" section of this forum ranging from Teenage magazine , Lime , Teens etc cause I'm just too lazy to write a proper hand written letter and hope that someone responses to your queries in the next month issue....

Secondly , I have seen my close friends surcum to a platonic relationship all because of a broken first love and feeling of being unloved by a girl. In fact , I have 2 very close friends and they too have fallen into a platonic relationship before and as such , I start to wonder , "Should you love a girl because of her personality or because of her body?" I don't learn stuff using the "theory" method but rather on the "experience" method.


Going to drop a little unorthodox here: You, indeed, show wisdom in your thoughts - but this merely applies to your Higher Self. (In the simplest term I can put: someone who doesn't succumb to the negative energy of Mars/Lust. This is a very good thing by itself). Forum mates praise you for this, not actually seeing double edge:

[quote]...seeing couples holding hands is of like something obscene for me... [/quote]

[quote]because in my point of view "one thing might lead to another". You 2 can be kissing , the next day frenching , the next next day petting and finally the next next next day engaging in full blown sex and what we get at the end of the day is a platonic relationship in action.[/quote]

This is not exactly discipline... more like abstinence. You want to prevent POSSIBILITIES, even if it doesn't neccessary always have to follow the sequence like a book. IMHO, this is not exactly healthy, for its ok if you are not comfortable with the notion of sex before marriage. However, affections is like Love - it shouldn't be held back. Holding hands is of like something obscene to you? I am pretty sure, you may have to rediscover yourself through your relationship as you grow older.

Simple affection does NOT equate to the possibility of sex. I think such affections are wonderful things. If you want Love to go somewhere, you cannot hold back on the gift of affections - holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc are signs of NATURAL affections... so natural in love is like life is to breathing.

And there is too much logic in your mindset. Law and Order, fixed concept and all the beauty of a civil mind. Prevention, issue, problem, consequence, feedback and follow up... hidden in your subconscious. You apply what you see happened to your close friend, modified by your unconscious fear and go through alot of deep thoughts - in the end, I can tell you that your result is mostly blank. Which is why you ended up here, seeking for advice.

People would probably tell you 'hey, good guy.. continue this way. You are a rare gem, probably the last man on Earth, etc' - but ultimately do you get your fulfilling relationship? My answer is probably not, until you rediscover yourself, learn to use the 'Art of Emotional Science' and learn more about yourself instead of overly relying on others for answers.

People don't see this: 'Because you are not subjected to lust through great deal of mental, emotional and physical discipline - such cosmic lesson is probably beneath your feet as you have probably secure firm victory over it. People sees it as awesome, because it's something they are trying to sort in their life. But NOT you. However, you have sexuality blockage... an emotional discomfort dealing with affections. Holding hands is one of the possibility leading to sex? If you are telling me petting is.. I would have agreed. But holding hands?

Your girl said that you are not romantic - it's a bad choice of word, thus you probably never knew what is the root of your problem. The actual term is 'Not receptive/responsive to her affection.' and therefore, unloving and NOT unromantic.

P.S: By telling how much you love her (or yourself), but lack the proof in action, will tanish every single effort of yours in the long run. I always say this "Love looks in the same direction." If your definition of Love is this way, either you find someone who shares the same definition as you, or you learn to love and appreciate Love the way Love wants you to.

Cheers